Random Quotes...

[Jael]

SIGNS OF THE TIMES

At a vet's office: all unattended children will be given a free kitten

Plumber's shop: we repair what your husband fixed

Billboard: keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs

Vet's office: back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!

Non-Smoking area: if we see you smoking we will asume you are on fire and take appropriate action

Maternity room door: push, push, push

Optometrist's office: if you don't see what you're looking for you've come to the right place

Counsellor's office: growing old is mandatory, growing wise is optional

[Louisiana Night]

This is from the KQ collection. The troubleshooting section.

"FYI: You will not be allowed to explore Chessboard land in the game.  A lot of
people ask."

[Jael]

Lol! I always wanted to explore Chessboard Land. It drove me mad that I couldn't

[Louisiana Night]

I think it's going to be in KQ9(I hope that's not wishful thinking).

[Jael]

I think it's going to be in KQ9(I hope that's not wishful thinking).

Hooray!!

Lots of useless stuff:

Men get hiccups more often than women do.

55,700 people in the US are injured by jewelry each year.

In the course of a lifetime the average person will grow 2 meters of nose hair.

More people use blue toothbrushes than red ones.

On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.

Over 2,500 left handed people a year are killed from using products made for right handed people (Well great, now I'm paranoid )

Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left handed people do.

A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

An attosecond is one billionth of a billionth of a second.

National Pi Day is March 14, at 1:59. (3/14 1:59)

If you counted for 24 hours a day, it would take over 31,000 years to reach one trillion.

The wingspan of a Boeing 747 jet is longer than the Wright Brothers' first flight.

[Storm]

Over 2,500 left handed people a year are killed from using products made for right handed people (Well great, now I'm paranoid )

Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left handed people do.

No wonder, with all those dangerous right-handed products around

[Jeysie]

At a vet's office: all unattended children will be given a free kitten

This reminds me of a sign the hair salon I used to go to had:

"All children left unattended will be sold."

Oh, and here's one for the records:

The carry-out parking spaces for a local restaurant all have this sign:

"Parking for carry-out customers only. All others will be crushed and melted."

(I really need to get a picture of that sign one of these days.)

Peace & Luv, Liz

[J-ROC]

"I've learned not to expect anything, or everything will be a surprise."

-- Me.  And if it was said before me, I was unaware of it!

[Jael]

Over 2,500 left handed people a year are killed from using products made for right handed people (Well great, now I'm paranoid )

Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left handed people do.

No wonder, with all those dangerous right-handed products around

Lol! I recken. Those right-handed coffee cups are death traps . Though I really do hate how hard it is to find decent leftie scissors

Anyhoo, more Bushisms:

"The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country."

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."

"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'."

"I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future."

"The future will be better tomorrow."

"We're going to have the best educated American people in the world."

"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."

"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe."

"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."

"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."

"For NASA, space is still a high priority."

"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."

[Louisiana Night]

I used to wear a cap that said something similar to this.

I don't go looking for trouble, it finds me.

[Louisiana Night]

I did it again, going off topic.  

"In terms of multiplayer, Descent was the first game to work well over the Internet."
- Matt Toschlog (Outrage)

Okay, back on topic.

[Jeysie]

Here's another good sign (taken while Harrison and I were in New Jersey):

"Resurrection Cemetery

Turn back and turn right at light."

Just think about it.

Peace & Luv, Liz

[Louisiana Night]

Interesting story(and close enough to a quote). A Shell(gasoline) station had a neon(lightup) sign(that said "Shell"). The S went out...

Very few people were parked there, so it must not have gone unnoticed.

[koko_99_2001]

Ok...this was in our church newsletter...I found it hilarious!  Even if you're not religious or really couldn't care less, I think ya'll will find them interesting!

Occupation Hymns

Astronaut -- "Nearer, My God, to Thee"
Baker -- "I Need The Every Hour"
Baseball Batter -- "Seek Ye First"
Builder -- "How Firm a Foundation"
Carpenter -- "The Nail-Scarred Hand"
Dentist -- "Crown Him with Many Crowns"
Electrician -- "Send the Light"
Engineer -- "When I Survey the Wondrous Cross"
Fisherman -- "Shall We Gather at the River?"
Golfer -- "There Is a Green Hill Far Away"
Historian -- "Tell Me the Old, Old Story"
Librarian -- "We've a Story to Tell"
Mountain Climber -- "On Christ the Solid Rock"
Obstetrician -- "He Is Able to Deliver Thee"
Optometrist -- "Open Mine Eyes That I Might See"
Politician -- "Standing on the Promises"
Real Estate Agent -- "I've Got a Mansion"
Stone Cutter -- "Rock of Ages"
Operator -- "There's a Call Comes Ringing"
Voice Teacher -- "Sing Tem Over Again to Me"
Watchman -- "Silent Night"
Weatherman -- "There Shall be Showers of Blessing"

[Oldbushie]

Whoo! Great quotes y'all!

[Louisiana Night]

"Beware of the young doctor and the old barber."
Benjamin Franklin

[ShinyKnight]

"If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like "Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!" and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, "That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice." Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink."

-- Jack Handy

[Louisiana Night]

From an episode of Frasier, a US televsion show(last episode was aired a few months ago). Martin, is Frasier's father.

Frasier:  Dad, you have got to stop with the graveyard shifts or you're going to start seeing apparitions.
 
Martin:  No, don't worry about me, I'm pretty tough.  Listen, I'd love to stay here talkin' to you, but all this sunlight is makin' me dizzy.

Frasier:  What, you don't like the sun?

Martin:  Us night-shift guys call it "the scare ball."

[Yonkey]

Hahahha!  Wow, I actually remember most of those things!  

[Louisiana Night]

About 75%+ fits me.


One question,

You remember when Happy Meals came in a box.

They don't still come in a box?

and one statement.

You wish you had a light saber.

I've seen a real one! I have! I just don't have the money to waste on one