Author Topic: Random Quotes...  (Read 37290 times)

Offline Jael

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Re:Random Quotes...
« Reply #120 on: June 14, 2004, 11:26:17 PM »
SIGNS OF THE TIMES

At a vet's office: all unattended children will be given a free kitten

Plumber's shop: we repair what your husband fixed

Billboard: keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs

Vet's office: back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!

Non-Smoking area: if we see you smoking we will asume you are on fire and take appropriate action

Maternity room door: push, push, push

Optometrist's office: if you don't see what you're looking for you've come to the right place

Counsellor's office: growing old is mandatory, growing wise is optional

Offline Louisiana Night

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Re:Random Quotes...
« Reply #121 on: June 14, 2004, 11:29:04 PM »
This is from the KQ collection. The troubleshooting section.

"FYI: You will not be allowed to explore Chessboard land in the game.  A lot of
people ask."

Offline Jael

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Re:Random Quotes...
« Reply #122 on: June 14, 2004, 11:30:46 PM »
Lol! I always wanted to explore Chessboard Land. It drove me mad that I couldn't :D

Offline Louisiana Night

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Re:Random Quotes...
« Reply #123 on: June 14, 2004, 11:32:28 PM »
I think it's going to be in KQ9(I hope that's not wishful thinking).

Offline Jael

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Re:Random Quotes...
« Reply #124 on: June 15, 2004, 12:13:52 AM »
I think it's going to be in KQ9(I hope that's not wishful thinking).

Hooray!!

Lots of useless stuff:

Men get hiccups more often than women do.

55,700 people in the US are injured by jewelry each year.

In the course of a lifetime the average person will grow 2 meters of nose hair.

More people use blue toothbrushes than red ones.

On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.

Over 2,500 left handed people a year are killed from using products made for right handed people (Well great, now I'm paranoid )

Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left handed people do.

A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

An attosecond is one billionth of a billionth of a second.

National Pi Day is March 14, at 1:59. (3/14 1:59)

If you counted for 24 hours a day, it would take over 31,000 years to reach one trillion.

The wingspan of a Boeing 747 jet is longer than the Wright Brothers' first flight.

Offline Storm

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Re:Random Quotes...
« Reply #125 on: June 15, 2004, 07:40:48 AM »
Over 2,500 left handed people a year are killed from using products made for right handed people (Well great, now I'm paranoid )

Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left handed people do.

No wonder, with all those dangerous right-handed products around :P
« Last Edit: June 15, 2004, 07:43:34 AM by Storm »
"Never argue with idiots. They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience."

Offline Jeysie

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Re:Random Quotes...
« Reply #126 on: June 15, 2004, 08:59:18 AM »
At a vet's office: all unattended children will be given a free kitten

This reminds me of a sign the hair salon I used to go to had:

"All children left unattended will be sold."

Oh, and here's one for the records:

The carry-out parking spaces for a local restaurant all have this sign:

"Parking for carry-out customers only. All others will be crushed and melted."

(I really need to get a picture of that sign one of these days.)

Peace & Luv, Liz

Offline J-ROC

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Re:Random Quotes...
« Reply #127 on: June 15, 2004, 06:33:24 PM »
"I've learned not to expect anything, or everything will be a surprise."

-- Me.  And if it was said before me, I was unaware of it! :D
Just look at me,
I'm living proof that,
TIME HEALS NOTHING!

- from Time Heals Nothing by Danko Jones

Offline Jael

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Re:Random Quotes...
« Reply #128 on: June 15, 2004, 10:50:56 PM »
Over 2,500 left handed people a year are killed from using products made for right handed people (Well great, now I'm paranoid )

Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left handed people do.

No wonder, with all those dangerous right-handed products around :P

Lol! I recken. Those right-handed coffee cups are death traps ;P. Though I really do hate how hard it is to find decent leftie scissors >:(

Anyhoo, more Bushisms:

"The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country."

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."

"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'."

"I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future."

"The future will be better tomorrow."

"We're going to have the best educated American people in the world."

"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."

"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe."

"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."

"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."

"For NASA, space is still a high priority."

"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."

Offline Louisiana Night

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Re:Random Quotes...
« Reply #129 on: June 15, 2004, 11:29:28 PM »
I used to wear a cap that said something similar to this.

I don't go looking for trouble, it finds me.
« Last Edit: June 15, 2004, 11:35:45 PM by Louisiana Night »

Offline Louisiana Night

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Re:Random Quotes...
« Reply #130 on: June 16, 2004, 12:56:51 AM »
I did it again, going off topic.   :-X

"In terms of multiplayer, Descent was the first game to work well over the Internet."
- Matt Toschlog (Outrage)

Okay, back on topic.

Offline Jeysie

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Re:Random Quotes...
« Reply #131 on: June 16, 2004, 03:13:55 AM »
Here's another good sign (taken while Harrison and I were in New Jersey):

"Resurrection Cemetery

Turn back and turn right at light."

Just think about it. ;)

Peace & Luv, Liz
« Last Edit: November 13, 2004, 08:43:30 AM by Jeysie »

Offline Louisiana Night

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Re:Random Quotes...
« Reply #132 on: June 16, 2004, 12:20:38 PM »
Interesting story(and close enough to a quote). A Shell(gasoline) station had a neon(lightup) sign(that said "Shell"). The S went out...

Very few people were parked there, so it must not have gone unnoticed.
« Last Edit: June 16, 2004, 12:22:53 PM by Louisiana Night »

Offline koko_99_2001

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Re:Random Quotes...
« Reply #133 on: June 17, 2004, 07:53:11 PM »
Ok...this was in our church newsletter...I found it hilarious!  Even if you're not religious or really couldn't care less, I think ya'll will find them interesting!

Occupation Hymns
Astronaut -- "Nearer, My God, to Thee"
Baker -- "I Need The Every Hour"
Baseball Batter -- "Seek Ye First"
Builder -- "How Firm a Foundation"
Carpenter -- "The Nail-Scarred Hand"
Dentist -- "Crown Him with Many Crowns"
Electrician -- "Send the Light"
Engineer -- "When I Survey the Wondrous Cross"
Fisherman -- "Shall We Gather at the River?"
Golfer -- "There Is a Green Hill Far Away"
Historian -- "Tell Me the Old, Old Story"
Librarian -- "We've a Story to Tell"
Mountain Climber -- "On Christ the Solid Rock"
Obstetrician -- "He Is Able to Deliver Thee"
Optometrist -- "Open Mine Eyes That I Might See"
Politician -- "Standing on the Promises"
Real Estate Agent -- "I've Got a Mansion"
Stone Cutter -- "Rock of Ages"
Operator -- "There's a Call Comes Ringing"
Voice Teacher -- "Sing Tem Over Again to Me"
Watchman -- "Silent Night"
Weatherman -- "There Shall be Showers of Blessing"
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Offline Oldbushie

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Re:Random Quotes...
« Reply #134 on: June 18, 2004, 02:56:03 PM »
Whoo! Great quotes y'all! :D
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Offline Louisiana Night

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Re:Random Quotes...
« Reply #135 on: June 19, 2004, 02:12:27 AM »
"Beware of the young doctor and the old barber."
Benjamin Franklin

Offline ShinyKnight

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Re:Random Quotes...
« Reply #136 on: June 19, 2004, 03:13:50 AM »
"If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like "Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!" and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, "That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice." Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink."

-- Jack Handy
He who laughs last, didn't get the joke! :suffer:

Offline Louisiana Night

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Re:Random Quotes...
« Reply #137 on: June 27, 2004, 11:01:24 PM »
From an episode of Frasier, a US televsion show(last episode was aired a few months ago). Martin, is Frasier's father.

Frasier:  Dad, you have got to stop with the graveyard shifts or you're going to start seeing apparitions.
 
Martin:  No, don't worry about me, I'm pretty tough.  Listen, I'd love to stay here talkin' to you, but all this sunlight is makin' me dizzy.

Frasier:  What, you don't like the sun?

Martin:  Us night-shift guys call it "the scare ball."

Offline Yonkey

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Re:Random Quotes...
« Reply #138 on: July 04, 2004, 07:04:58 AM »
Hahahha!  Wow, I actually remember most of those things! :o  :suffer: XD
"A wish changes nothing. A decision changes everything."

Offline Louisiana Night

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Re:Random Quotes...
« Reply #139 on: July 04, 2004, 01:38:24 PM »
About 75%+ fits me.


One question,
Quote
You remember when Happy Meals came in a box.
They don't still come in a box?

and one statement.
Quote
You wish you had a light saber.
I've seen a real one! I have! I just don't have the money to waste on one  :(