Stupid things you have said or heard

[Say]

yeah, dont worry, its not you're fault its their fault....

[koko_99_2001]

THATS IT! THAT MUST BE IT!  

But, then that means they can't see us!  *sniff*...but I guess I would prefer to blind them with beauty than to scare them off w/ ugliness!  

Cat

[Kimmie]

they just dont know a good thing when they see it cat! *huggle*

[Jeysie]

Obviously we just all need push-up bras. Everyone knows those are the main things men notice! (ducks and hides) J/K!

In slightly more serious matters... Can we morph this temporarily into "Stupid Things You've Done"? A couple stories just occured to me.

First off... one day I decided to make meself some breakfast. Made a cup of tea. Poured some cereal into a bowl. Got the gallon of milk out of the fridge.

Then one of my cats decided to get into trouble, so I had to leave the kitchen to go yell at them. I then proceeded to walk back into the kitchen... go over to the table... and pour my cup of tea into my bowl of cereal.

I then started to put the milk away, and stopped and thought, "Wait. Did I just do what I think I did?" Needless to say, I ended up getting another bowl of cereal. (And another cup of tea, for that matter.)

Then there was the day I had one of my best friends sleep over for the night. The next day we were busy getting ready to go out and everything. One problem: I couldn't find my glasses! I spent a goodly number of minutes searching for the things... meanwhile, I'm telling my friend "Um, could you possibly help me find my glasses?!" because she's just standing there with a bemused look on her face.

Finally she stops me running around by putting her hands on my shoulders, looks me straight in the eye, and says, "Liz... they're on your face!" So I put my hands up to my eyes, and sure enough, I had already put on my glasses, and had managed to forget. D'oh!

Peace & Luv, Liz

[Kimmie]

the classic mistake!

[Say]

hahaha Jeysieee, I can so relate to the glasses thing, It has happened to me tooo!! ugh its horrible! I hate it when it happens to me

[koko_99_2001]

Well, a woman I work with has been trying to hook me up with her grandson (what is it with the women I work with?  I have bad luck!)  Anyway, she went to go see him this weekend (since he and his family live in the next state over)...and she calls me.  Turns out he asked her if I was mad at him since I haven't emailed him lately.  Now WHY would I email a guy that I emailed back before Easter and haven't heard anything from since then??  So that's the stupid thing..."is she mad at me...I haven't heard anything from her lately"  How about you TRY emailing me??

Cat

[Questing Character]

OMG!  Jeysie, I do that with my jackets all the time.  I put them on and then I search the entire house looking for them...*sigh*
Of course, as far as stupid things I've done, not much tops this......
Okay, I planned to wear this sweater I have to school.  The thing is, this sweater is red, so it's like the only color both of my cats cat hair will show up on.  I had to give Alex (one of my cats) his medicine that morning because mom was away, so I decided I would get dressed except for the shirt and then give him his pill...
I did all of that without a hitch.  The problem was, I forgot to put the sweater on afterwards.  I didn't realize it til I arrived at school in the shirt I'd slept in the night before...that was covered in cat hair.
Fortunately, I was wearing a jacket.  I just never took it off, and no one noticed (I hope).

[Storm]

I never loose my glasses... mostly because I'm blind without them and hardly ever take them off when awake and not in the shower
I did have this time when I was searching high and low for my keys while holding them in my hand though

But unfortunately, I've done things way stupider than that... things that affect your life for longer than 5 minutes

Q -
That reminds me... How to give your pet a pill

[koko_99_2001]

Storm, I love it!

Ok...this one happened to me in class today.  Don't know if it goes with stupid things...may have just been more offensive to me...but here we go:

I walk into my science class...and ask my prof. how he's doing (he's been sick also...I think he's given just about all of us whatever he has).  Anyway, I mention that I have no voice (all of this is done in a whisper)...well, he goes "many guys would LOVE to have a girl who couldn't talk!"  Now, I know he was making a joke, but still...poo!  

Onto something else that's happened in class.  First off, he has the worst either country accent or East Tennessee accent I've heard in a long time.  Of course, me and my major--it just drives me INSANE!  Some of the words he uses include: bananer, pianer, won' to (want to), flustrated...and the list goes on.  In fact, we were taking notes yesterday and he had it on power point...well it said "someone's formular"...instead of "formula"...everyone in the class just cracks up...he thinks we're laughing at his joke...but we're not!  (ok, so you had to be there, but I promise, it was funny!)

Cat

[Oldbushie]

That would be a New England accent.

We tend to add r's to the ends of our words if they don't have one, otherwise we leave off the r. My accent is a bit faded now that I live in Virginia but it's really noticeable with some people.

[copycat]

Well, a woman I work with has been trying to hook me up with her grandson (what is it with the women I work with?  I have bad luck!)

My mother tried to hook me up with one of her friend's daughter. I sent her 3 (personal) e-mails, she sent me... (1). My mother told me she apparently had trouble viewing some of the attachments I sent her (those are not 'personal', I do them in bcc.) So I go to her 'How should I know?', she never told me about that.

Concerning my glasses: same as Storm, there's clearly a difference in me viewing something with glasses on and without glasses one, can't miss.

[Jeysie]

Bushie: Thank goodness I apparently speak like I'm from the Midwest instead.

CC & Storm: My best defense is the fact that my un-aided eyesight has always been normal enough to function without glasses (in fact, I don't wear any right now, 'cause I can't afford them )... it's just *ab*normal enough that corrective lenses are a help, if that makes sense. Plus, my problem is I can't see things far away, so unless I'm, well, looking at far away-ish things, I'm less likely to notice any difference in vision.

OK, that and the fact that I'm incredibly absent-minded. Blargh.

Peace & Luv, Liz

[Louisiana Night]

Since this is the day of the month I joined...

I think I'll just get to Groupie status today.

[Storm]

The following question was asked on a tech support forum... I don't know if that guy is for real, but I thought it was really stupid, so I've taken the liberty of loosely translating it for your benefit:  

"Me and my brother we have a cable between my computer and his and when I download movies they end up on his computer. And then I take it to my computer now I've downloaded this movie and after I transferred it, it disappeared and I can't find it and I think he [his brother] deleted it but he says it could be that the movie isn't lost yet and it might be stuck inside the cable between the computers but I don't think that's true because the cable isn't very long and the movie is very large, and it's also a little silly. But if you think that might be it can you tell me how to take it out of the cable, is there a program that does it or is it something I have to do with the cable itself?"

[GravityMX]

You have a link there Storm? I must see that in full, oh, and the replies

I was in a computer shop a few months ago, doing some work experience. This guy comes in the shop with his computer. He placed it on the counter and started talking to the techie. The guy said he had a message on his computer, advising him to shut it down. He says the message told him his North bridge in the computer was running at 130 degrees celcious/266 degrees celcious.

The techie said there was nothing to worry about. We all had a laugh once he left the store!

[Storm]

You have a link there Storm? I must see that in full, oh, and the replies

Sure!
I did have a link to the original message, but it was... misplaced

Anyways, one reply tells him to cut the cable in half and take out the movie, another tells him to call an exorcist to de-possess the cable of the movie, and suggests he doesn't unplug the it because the movie might escape and hide under the floorboards

This link makes me think that guy wasn't totally honest though... it's pretty much the same question, posted in a different tech support forum. It *could* be the same guy asking about the same thing after being laughed out of the other forum, but it was posted in November, and he says he hasn't turned the computers off since it happened. The original message was posted in July, and 4 months seems an awfully long time to keep your computer on

[GravityMX]

Okay guys, this is going to be long   I'll slowly add to this as time goes by

True telephone conversations recorded from various ISP Help Desks!

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Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?

Customer: A white one...

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Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.

Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button ?

Customer: Yes, but it's really stuck.

Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note ...

Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry .

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Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.

Customer: Your left or my left ?

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Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you ?

Male customer: Hello... I can't print.

Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and ...

Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me ! I'm not Bill Gates damn it !

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Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...

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Customer: I have problems printing in red...

Helpdesk: Do you have a colour printer ?

Customer: No.

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Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am ?

Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.

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Helpdesk: And now hit F8.

Customer: It's not working.

Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly ?

Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing's happening.

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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.

Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer ?

Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.

Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.

Customer: OK

Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you ?

Customer: Yes

Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard ?

Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work !

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Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.

Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

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A customer couldn't get on the internet.

Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password ?

Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.

Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was ?

Customer: Five stars.

====

Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use ?

Customer: Netscape.

Helpdesk: That's not an antivirus program.

Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screensaver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears !

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Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech. Support, may I help you ?

Customer: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you. Can you please tell me how long it will take before you can help me ?

Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your problem ?

Customer: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than 4 hours ago. Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me ?

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Helpdesk: How may I help you ?

Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.

Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem ?

Customer: Well, I have the letter a, but how do I get the circle around it ?

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Helpdesk: What version of windows are you running?

Customer: LG Flatron

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Customer:It put up an error message and then stopped.

Helpdesk: What did the error message say?

Customer: I don't know. Shouldn't you know?

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Helpdesk: good morning <insert isp> this is tom speaking

hi, I'm having trouble getting onto the net, my computer cant speak to the router even though its plugged in and both are turned on.

helpdesk: have you tried restarting it?

Customer: yeah, I've done that 3 times, i think the ethernet cable is causing dropouts

Helpdesk: have you tried restarting it?

Customer: oh what if i tried unplugging my speakers, i heard they could interfere

Helpdesk: have you tried restarting it?

Customer: oh look i worked it out! all i needed to do was restart it.

Cust: thanks buddy!

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Helpdesk: Your problem is caused by another company's product or services.

Customer: Shouldn't i tell you my problem before you determine the cause?

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Customer: I've waited for an hour to send off an e-mail but it just wont send!

Helpdesk: Ok, does an error message appear?

Customer: Oh yes, but i'm on the phone now and I cant get it, im not on broadband you know.

Helpdesk: Ok, do you remember any portion of the error message?

Customer: No.

Helpdesk: Ok, if you are able to re-connect on and write down the entire error message for us, and give us a call back.

5 minutes later....

Customer: Ok, the error message that appears is "task completed sucessfully" - now why cant I send my email?

====

More to come

[Jafar]

No one could possibly be...
Haha, that was hilarious.

[Jafar]

I accidently brought my sister into Mini-chamber...and I couldn't even stick around.

* Jafar slaps his forehead