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The OMFGWTFYAY FER SAY Thread

Started by Questing Character, August 14, 2004, 05:46:27 PM

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Jeysie

Quote from: Say on August 19, 2004, 04:36:26 PMI understand jeysie's point but you dramatically fail to see what moves something like this AT LEAST TO ME, it's more for the belief of the quality of work rather than my OWN personal passions, which sad to say they're being killed because I don't care however the f*ck this may be you didn't see the emails I've got which attack me personally regardless of my PR status, and so sorry there is no money in this world neither passion that will put me though something like that, I may dislike myself but I don't have to take that s**t from anyone, I don't do at my real PAID job, I don't have the need to do it for free either, that's my point.

(sigh) I didn't mean to upset you, Say. It's up to you whether or not you feel this project is worth continuing with. I'd personally love you to stay, but nobody can make you except yourself.

I'm just saying that there are going to be negative people, they're never going to go away, and if you stay in your PR position you'll have to deal with it. It sucks, but it's the truth.

I'm also saying that I think you're letting yourself focus so strongly on the negative that you're blinding yourself to the positive, and the fact that the vast majority of the people here are supportive of you and the team.

You can't take it personally... you have to be able to look at yourself objectively, know yourself, know when you're wrong and when you're not. You have to be able to look past the negativity to see if there's a kernal of truth within, and you have to be able to blow people off and not let it get to you when you know you're in the right.

I know it's not easy to do... I left retail because I just couldn't handle it in the end. And I was getting paid for my work, indeed... I likely would have passed a long time ago if I wasn't.

I like you Say, I really do. It hurts me a lot when you put yourself down, stress yourself worrying about things you shouldn't, take things personally you shouldn't, and get yourself too worked up to smell the roses.

A lot of people here like you and think you're great. I wish you could open your heart and soul and see and feel that, because it makes me miserable to see you making yourself so miserable.

This project is supposed to be fun... if it's not being fun anymore, maybe you could use some time to get away, take a breather, get some love and re-perspective on things. But please don't think we're trying to push you away, or that things can never be fun again. And please don't think we're all out to be meanies!

Peace & Luv, Liz

Oldbushie

#61
:'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(

*gives Say a gigantic bearhug and turns all the bad people into slimy worms*

Bearhug:


Bad People:
.......... <3 Oldbushie <3 ..........
Forum Emoticon God
Master of Time and Space
Aerobush of the Jarada Knights
TSL Programmer
and...
The TSL Candyman




Hero Of The Queene!


Say

Jeysie you speak from what you seen, not from what there is all, and by no means Im going to throw in details, Im sorry so go ahead and think whatever you want, and trust me YOU haven't upset me, I've been upset for a while and by no means it's your fault or even anyone who has posted here so far.

And Im sorry PR is -not- like that because it's not everything I do, who the f*** you think does the monthly research, has to deal with (IMPORTANT promotion crap) who coordinates all the excell sheets to gether all the efforts into planning and promotion of the kq9 team, you think that happens because we're miraclously (sp?) so good? lol, well sorry but it hasnt. Same with the GOOD talent that we have here, same with the places we even promote our avaliable positions, I mean nothing happens just becuase, and Im sorry it has never been fun or will be fun ever, this is WORK, if it were fun I would do a tetris game or a stupid s*** to amuse me, this is a team serious work and what you get is a (yes hard to believe for some perhaps) a top notch portfolio because what you do here has good quality and you get pushed as a professional, we have no amateurs here sorry, so this is not a fun walk park not even for those who really like kq series.

So the problem is which I apologize to even bring this out here I dont know why I thought you would get it, but truth is I've had not only dealt with what you see here, my work is so much more than this it's obviously stupid what goes on here, sorry but it is the truth, compared to all the obligations that I have as a director, and ME and NEIL and CESAR have had done before to hire ppl for other teams, to keep track of schedules which are not in OUR departments neither our responsability, to keep things in order OVER HERE at kq9.org as well as kq9groups which the real development happens, to have to deal with all the crap that goes on HERE which is nothing compared when a REAL problems happens inside the group, and what you SERIOUSLY fail to see is that it doesnt seems worthy NOWHERE for me, sorry you don't get it but Im done explaining and I thought you would understand but apparently not, if it's not obvious enough this is ME as a person not as a stupid director, and funny to say Bushie's post meant a lot more to me than whatever you're trying to point out at me doing wrong because If there is anyone who can freaking accuse herself when I do anything it's myself the least I need is to be judged right now, I've been plenty and I got tired of it, I would rather do a lame ass attempt to see who really cares for ME as a person rather than whatever else, and I think I've seen it so far, don't bother to come around and keep pointing out how PR or anything else should be I've been on this field long enough as to know, and being professionally paid I think I've been down a long road to know how things are, and sorry, the point is that Im running out of patience for something that is supposed the best time of my week (not fun, but rewarded work) into a hell that I dont need to take to begin with.

if you all think my job is to sit here and post OR to even give a f*** what ppl say about in these forums then honestly I've been taken for granted. Sorry to burst out your bubble to so many, it is not, I do plenty more important development to get the game out than to sit here read and HAVE to reply to ppl's whim, I actually DO care more than I should that's the freaking problem, and this project means as much as to have given what I've given but what seems to be worthless is the upcoming results lately, and whatever honestly, sorry I even said anything, means no difference and clearly only just -REALLY- few got it.

I love you all none the less but honestly, if you don't get it or know how this or even get what Im trying to say towards all this is (which is how I feel which I think MANY missed it) stop judging or telling me what to do, I've got PLENTY of that already, thanks.

Again, don't freak out kids, kq9 is up and running better than ever (believe that from someone who helps coordinate WTF is going on, if it matters?), this was a personal statement from MY side, MY experience and how I feel, wrong place to share it I guess huh? I guess I just wanted to be HEARD for once, if anything.


Say Mistage
Phoenix Online Studios

#IndieSupport <3

Yonkey

Haha, I don't even want to know what those things are in that picture, Bushie :X but I agree.

I probably identify the most with what Say is feeling and going through.  And at first you say "ok, this is part of the job.  That's fine, I'll deal with it professionally".  Unfortunately, some people don't work that way, and it is sad, but you have to sometimes stoop to their level to get a point across.  Then suddenly the realise they way they're acting and try to put on some professional facade. But you can see through it.  You always could and these people are doing nothing more than wasting your time and energy.

We do know that our true fans, you guys, will support us through thick and thin; and that you are understanding of everything we are able to do for the site, as well as outside our department for this project.  Say, myself and several others have had to step up to take on responsibilities of others who aren't as dedicated to the project.  The reason we do it goes beyond just doing assignments for a game, and I can't quite explain the driving force that pushes us to continue to do this.

However, a lot of times, this effort goes unappreciated or taken for granted.  It may happen 5% of the time, but it is enough to question why you continue to do this and whether or not it's all worth it.  Also sadly, that 5% is enough to make some people turn their backs and run away.  Say and I aren't like that, but there is only so much someone can take.

It's like someone pouring water on you.  You can handle a few glasses -- maybe even a jug or two because you know it's temporary and you'll dry off eventually.  But once it turns into a thunderstorm or monsoon, you don't stand outside any longer.
"A wish changes nothing. A decision changes everything."

Questing Character

We do need a hug smiley...
Anyhow, Say, I think you need to breathe a little bit more. Your blood pressure is probably going to make your head pop soon.
Jeysie wasn't trying to tell you what to do, nor was she even saying she understood precisely what you were going through.  Like all the rest of us in this thread, she was trying to be supportive.  Jeysie's way of doing that is similar to mine--relate via shared/similar experience and/or offer advice.  I didn't have either of those to give, or I would have and you would've been replying to me the same way.

And, wait, wait, I'm not nagging or trying to say you're doing something wrong or anything!  I just smell the beginnings of Internet drama and I want to stop it before this board stops being my drama-free haven.

Also, I want to point out the very very most important thing Jeysie said in her post:
QuoteIt hurts me a lot when you put yourself down
I think that was the focus of her post--she's trying to support her friend.  And, I'd like to take this opportunity to point out the quote in my siggy, it's one of the most important truths in life.  Don't ignore it just because a bunch of a******* pissed you off.

Now, like we've said, we're all here for you.  We'd love for you to stay.  And, although we may not know exactly what it is you do because so much of it is behind the scenes, we *do* know you do more than just the forum and site, and we appreciate it.  None of us would blame you if you left--we'd be sad of course, but we'd understand.

And, this is *your* thread, so this was definitely the right place to post it.



Say



Say Mistage
Phoenix Online Studios

#IndieSupport <3

J-ROC

#66
1) Say, that's sexy.  :flirt:

2) I think a good idea to make Say feel better is to give her hugs, cookies, and coffee.  :D  Let's do a little less of telling her "we understand" (which we probably DO NOT, minus Neil and possibly a few other team members) and less telling her what she "should" do. (I know you mean well, but learn to back off when it's not working.)

3) Say has my love, support, and lack of judgement.   <3
Just look at me,
I'm living proof that,
TIME HEALS NOTHING!

- from Time Heals Nothing by Danko Jones


Louisiana Night

*mixes hugs, cookies, and coffee into the same cup.*

*hands cup to Say*

Say


 :iluvu: ... isn't that smiley cute?


Well, whatever honestly at this point whoever who wants to be there may and whoever who doesnt, well then just dont, nothing can stay this bad forever anyhow, it will end sooner or later and however it may.

This would be a perfect moment to go out have pizza with a couple of friends and just not think about anything anymore than to see wtf is up in the teathers to catch up a good movie, honestly, I haven't been to the movies since LOTR I guess lol :S (the first one) now that's crappy.


On a cute notw that just happened, Neil got told this today to give me the mssg, lol <3
"I have to run, I hope things work out for you guys, tell Say I think she's still a sexy b****, and that I send my best, okay?"


lol, I HEART YA NADREW <3, he's such a sweet kid :)


Say Mistage
Phoenix Online Studios

#IndieSupport <3

Say

Quote from: Louisiana Night on August 19, 2004, 07:44:13 PM
*mixes hugs, cookies, and coffee into the same cup.*

*hands cup to Say*

lol how cute



Say Mistage
Phoenix Online Studios

#IndieSupport <3

J-ROC

Just look at me,
I'm living proof that,
TIME HEALS NOTHING!

- from Time Heals Nothing by Danko Jones


Jeysie

#71
Quote from: Say on August 19, 2004, 06:59:09 PMyou think that happens because we're miraclously (sp?) so good? lol, well sorry but it hasnt. Same with the GOOD talent that we have here, same with the places we even promote our avaliable positions, I mean nothing happens just becuase, and Im sorry it has never been fun or will be fun ever, this is WORK, if it were fun I would do a tetris game or a stupid s**t to amuse me, this is a team serious work and what you get is a (yes hard to believe for some perhaps) a top notch portfolio because what you do here has good quality and you get pushed as a professional, we have no amateurs here sorry, so this is not a fun walk park not even for those who really like kq series.

No, I don't think you're miraculously good, nor have I ever said so. Nor do I think it's a walk in the park. You guys do a great job, and in fact, I think some of you don't give yourself enough credit. I've never seen people who drive themselves so hard, and if you drive yourself too hard with no break, you can crack and stress yourself out. People need to know their limits, and the fact that you're posting all this speaks to me that you're reaching yours.

The fact that you don't consider this to be fun speaks a lot to me. A job where you get paid, I can understand doing such a thing if you don't consider it fun, because you're getting money as motivation. But if you're not getting paid, what else is there? Passion, enjoyment of what you're doing, a desire to better yourself, a desire to show off, a desire to help others... if you honestly feel that you're not doing this for no reason you can put your finger on, or just because it's a duty to be done, then no wonder you're not happy.

QuoteI understand jeysie's point but you dramatically fail to see what moves something like this AT LEAST TO ME, it's more for the belief of the quality of work rather than my OWN personal passions

Why *don't* you do something for your own personal passions? You've shown that you believe in being high quality, but you're obviously not happy with the things you're trying to do high quality. So go out and do the things that bring you passion. Live for yourself! Go do things that give *you* emotional satisfaction! You come off as giving your own needs very short thrift many times here, and that's just not a necessary, productive, or happy way to live.

Quotedon't bother to come around and keep pointing out how PR or anything else should be I've been on this field long enough as to know, and being professionally paid I think I've been down a long road to know how things are, and sorry, the point is that Im running out of patience for something that is supposed the best time of my week (not fun, but rewarded work) into a hell that I dont need to take to begin with.

I never said what PR should be, just that I've worked many years with customers and know what they're like, and how to deal with them without going nuts. Yes, PR specifically is much more than just dealing with customers, but that's the aspect you're venting about right now.

All I'm saying is that I think you're just focusing too much on what's going wrong, and it's obviously making you unhappy. I'm saying that there's a lot of people here who support you, and I think you're doing yourself a disservice by getting so riled up over people who are in the small minority, and who you know are wrong, and therefore you shouldn't concern yourself with. If they're wrong, who gives a f*** what they think?

Flip the naysayers the mental finger, shut it out of your head once dealt with, and take comfort and strength from your friends. That's all I'm saying.

You do excellent work, and you've got great friends. You put yourself down too much on these forums, and take criticism too personally. Take more pride in yourself, take your friends' support to heart, and kiss off everyone who's wrong. You do phenomenal work, and you're very beautiful, and the fact that you don't seem to believe or take pride in either makes me very unhappy for you.

I know I come off sometimes as a b****, but that's because I don't generally do cuddles and hugs. I try to figure out what appears to be sticking in a person, and light a fire under their butt to overcome it and make themselves a happier person.

What *are* you living your life to strive for, Say? Sounds like this is a good time to ponder that and re-focus to match it.

Edit: Heh, as usual, I get so long-winded that everyone sneaks stuff in on me!

Yeah, Questie's got it down, Say. You can really boil my excessive verbiage down to: believe in yourself more, let your friends bring you up, and don't let the jerks get you down.

Peace & Luv, Liz

Say

Quote from: Jeysie on August 19, 2004, 07:53:11 PM
No, I don't think you're miraculously good, nor have I ever said so. Nor do I think it's a walk in the park. You guys do a great job, and in fact, I think some of you don't give yourself enough credit. I've never seen people who drive themselves so hard, and if you drive yourself too hard with no break, you can crack and stress yourself out. People need to know their limits, and the fact that you're posting all this speaks to me that you're reaching yours.

I've done all this for quite a while it's not work that adds to it, it is the reward I get out of it, at the end of the day when you work under the quality of work you do, you do put things in perspective would you put up something like this just for the sake of it? there is ALWAYS coming out of it, it's not work related, it what comes out of work, so on that point you're wrong hun. You have no idea how I work or how much I can do, I can and ppl who have worked with me can, you may ask Cesar or Neil anytime and you will see this is nothing compared to what I've done before in my life, actually real work.

Quote from: Jeysie on August 19, 2004, 07:53:11 PM
The fact that you don't consider this to be fun speaks a lot to me. A job where you get paid, I can understand doing such a thing if you don't consider it fun, because you're getting money as motivation. But if you're not getting paid, what else is there? Passion, enjoyment of what you're doing, a desire to better yourself, a desire to show off, a desire to help others... if you honestly feel that you're not doing this for no reason you can put your finger on, or just because it's a duty to be done, then no wonder you're not happy.

That's exactly why I said stop asuming or stop telling me what to do, you don't know what happyness is for me, or what I meant toward my long asses posts obviously hence you would see that I AM asking for THAT I lack off if you can't give it then shut up and stop thinking you do know me sweetie, I know you mean well but it is coming as it comes out of your ass and when it becomes THIS personal and you're wrong, it pisses me off, you don't know me and that's ok, but plz don't try to do it over 3 or 4 long posts I made out a single statement you fail to give to me.

Quote from: Jeysie on August 19, 2004, 07:53:11 PM

Why *don't* you do something for your own personal passions? You've shown that you believe in being high quality, but you're obviously not happy with the things you're trying to do high quality. So go out and do the things that bring you passion. Live for yourself! Go do things that give *you* emotional satisfaction! You come off as giving your own needs very short thrift many times here, and that's just not a necessary, productive, or happy way to live.

lol, if you think kq9 is the ONLY thing I do again you're wrong lol :P I didn't spend 5 years achieving over 170 credits approved for a degree I don't like in a field I don't love and obviously mommy and daddy don't support me either :P money won't fall of the sky, and yes I do more things than just kq9 to keep me pleased, sadly kq9 hurts the most cuz is the project I've commited the most ;) doesn't means is the only one. And again, don't talk to me as this were a mean to a happy path, I never did kq9 for those reasons, I do it because I loved it, that doesn't automatically means Im happy, I enjoy it, different approachs.

Quote from: Jeysie on August 19, 2004, 07:53:11 PM
I never said what PR should be, just that I've worked many years with customers and know what they're like, and how to deal with them without going nuts. Yes, PR specifically is much more than just dealing with customers, but that's the aspect you're venting about right now.

lol that's costumer affairs, you certainly can't compare PR development to what that is, I wasn't trained in my MBA to work in a retail store I got to read and be trained to deal with clients, costumers and companies as in accounts or personal issues, so by no means you can't compare 3:1, sorry. By that I mean, I know I should ignore it but If I did such you wouldn't have half of what you DO have here, at all. So I can't take that back now but Im not supposed to take the s*** either, sorry.


Quote from: Jeysie on August 19, 2004, 07:53:11 PM
All I'm saying is that I think you're just focusing too much on what's going wrong, and it's obviously making you unhappy. I'm saying that there's a lot of people here who support you, and I think you're doing yourself a disservice by getting so riled up over people who are in the small minority, and who you know are wrong, and therefore you shouldn't concern yourself with. If they're wrong, who gives a f*** what they think?

I think I mentioned this to James or Neil before but let's say this you're only seeing like the 10% that seems to be flawless about this project, that's you, but there is still a 90% to attend, and no I won't give out details just to state a point I know better than that.

Quote from: Jeysie on August 19, 2004, 07:53:11 PM
Flip the naysayers the mental finger, shut it out of your head once dealt with, and take comfort and strength from your friends. That's all I'm saying.

I am trying, I just don't love to dwell on s*** to be honest. I think I said all I could.

Quote from: Jeysie on August 19, 2004, 07:53:11 PM
You do excellent work, and you've got great friends. You put yourself down too much on these forums, and take criticism too personally. Take more pride in yourself, take your friends' support to heart, and kiss off everyone who's wrong. You do phenomenal work, and you're very beautiful, and the fact that you don't seem to believe or take pride in either makes me very unhappy for you.

It's ok, I feel sad for myself too most of the times, the fact that Im just 22 years old and I have like over 3 years experience in my field, an MBA, I've got awards, press reports and such I feel proud of yes, but that's not all there is to it, that's why happyness just can't be all of that, personally I achieve more than that.

Quote from: Jeysie on August 19, 2004, 07:53:11 PM
I know I come off sometimes as a b****, but that's because I don't generally do cuddles and hugs. I try to figure out what appears to be sticking in a person, and light a fire under their butt to overcome it and make themselves a happier person.

You are just like my mom (no offense there, I love her) she instead of hug me she yells at me, that's problably why people think Im heartless, I don't tent to be neither this open or nice about MY personal thoughts, because I dont expect anyone to get it, so, even so, if you hear someone say don't judge and don't tell me what to do, that's exactly what it means, the root of the problem is right there, and it comes from me, it is how I feel not appreciated or as if i go invisible even though I spend most time here than I ever did at any job in my life even for free, so it's like, when you commit so much so hard and when one day you want piece of mind and you don't get it I guess I've been taking enough for the past years as to have my place and time to b**** about it if I want to. It's not about happyness or do what you want or such cuz everything is already stated about that, is about wheter you want to continously stick up to it or not, that's the point, and as I said, 90% > 10%, if I didn't care I would just have quit and took off period, wtf would I care? but I am here right? and I even speak out, that means at least I do care, and if I Care it means that it means crap to me, otherwise I would just ignore it all together and bye bye

Quote from: Jeysie on August 19, 2004, 07:53:11 PM
What *are* you living your life to strive for, Say? Sounds like this is a good time to ponder that and re-focus to match it.

lol again, since when kq9 became my life goal? I love it and everything but I don't live for this sweets, and I certainly wont, sad but true. Dont ask me to evaluate my life over something like that hence my life is not kq9 as I said, my life is my own, my love toward kq9 is another completly different, I think I know where I stand thank you very much, and that's exactly how I know what I don't want to put up with.

Quote from: Jeysie on August 19, 2004, 07:53:11 PM
Edit: Heh, as usual, I get so long-winded that everyone sneaks stuff in on me!

Yeah, Questie's got it down, Say. You can really boil my excessive verbiage down to: believe in yourself more, let your friends bring you up, and don't let the jerks get you down.

I'm trying, honestly, that's why Im still here and replying to all this :)



Say Mistage
Phoenix Online Studios

#IndieSupport <3

Questing Character

I like how I was right.  And how Jeysie totally paraphrased me and sounded smarter than like...my speech of exactly what she said in one sentence. :P



Say

but yeah it's like... k we can talk about it and whatever, but don't push it, Im very delicate about my life and I just shared a little piece of it (kq9) as to be questioned it as a whole :P

besides Im trying to bring my mood a bit up again, it's not like I wanna go on and on about this discussion for weeks, it kinda doesn't makes me feel like... cheerful or crap to be talking about it, lol.


Say Mistage
Phoenix Online Studios

#IndieSupport <3

Grundy

You have my support Say.  ;)

*Gets back to work... 3d stuff to be done... *

J-ROC

Quote from: Jeysie on August 19, 2004, 08:19:29 PM
Yes, seeing as how I read the hint *after* I made my post, and no, I'm not going to take the post back.
Well, I took mine away because I was being a jackhole and I don't know what the hell I'm talking about.

*hides behind Say*

*checks out her bum in the meantime* :flirt:
Just look at me,
I'm living proof that,
TIME HEALS NOTHING!

- from Time Heals Nothing by Danko Jones


Jeysie

*checks out Say's bum*

Although I would point out that if you're hiding *behind* Say, and I'm in a position to stare at Say's bum, I can therefore see you.

Redemption is at hand, J-R.

Peace & Luv, Liz

Grundy

*Also checks out Say's cute bum!*

:lovegoggles:

( we need a drool smiley. ;) )

J-ROC

Jeysie:  Obviously I failed Monty Python's course in the "Art of not being seen" :o

Jon, I think a "cop a feel" smiley would be better! :D
Just look at me,
I'm living proof that,
TIME HEALS NOTHING!

- from Time Heals Nothing by Danko Jones