B'rrr, I found a great way to scare off JWs.
In my early childhood years, I suffered from severe cases of hives. My grandmother, being raised on a farm, believed in extreme home remedies religiously. One afternoon, after breaking out in a case of hives, she decided to test a remedy. At the time, we were about to be visited by a JW. Halfway up the drive, he saw a woman in her fifties in the field with an eight year old girl underneath a goat, completely nude. Fearing what he had just driven upon, he decided not to travel up the other half of the driveway, turned around and never came back.
Goats milk relieves the irritation of hives, and my grandmother believed it was better straight from the udder verses from the udder to a bucket to a bathtub and then to the child.