The Pointless BrideLN: Jafar was defeated? Son of a Submariner!
Cat: ...
OB: ...Submar-
LN: Hey, I'm just trying to find a better catch phrase!
OB: *shakes head*
LN: Okay, I'll keep going with her, you wait behind and take the ninja down OB style.
OB: Now you're talking! Er...I have a style?
LN: Yes. Hit him till he stops moving.
*leaves*
OB: Aww, that sounds kinda lousy...
*a bit later*
Ninja: *wanders down the trail* (Huh? My ninja-sense is going crazy!)
[The Mysterious Ninja ducks as a big rock hits a nearby rock wall and explodes!]
OB: *pops out of hiding place* Hi there. Wanna play catch?
Ninja: Er...I kind of left my titanium baseball mitt at home. Maybe later?
OB: Pity. But in any case, the boss said not to let you through, so we're going to have to settle this somehow. How about wrestling?
Ninja: Wrestle!? With you!? You're like Paul Bunyon! You could've squeezed water out of that rock!
OB: Well, it's not MY fault I'm big and strong. I guess all those boxes of timtams went to my muscles...
Ninja: Okay then...let's start small. Thumb-wrestling?
*5 minutes later*
Ninja: Ow...ow...ow...okay...bad move...
OB: You okay?
Ninja: Yes, yes, I'm just fi- LOOK BEHIND YOU! A 3-HEADED MONKEY!
OB: Where!? *turns*
Ninja: One-hit KO attack!
*WHAM*
OB: I still don't see it!
Ninja: (ARGH! PAIN!) Keep looking, I think he's hiding in the bushes! *pulls out a large, cartoonish mallet*
*WHAM!*
OB: Which set of bushes?
Ninja: (It broke!?) Uh, the ones over there!
[2 more hammers, 4 anvils, a Wabbajack, and 5 mangos later, OB is out cold]
Ninja: Good grief...What is that guy MADE of? And I've still got to catch up with the last one... *runs*
(Meanwhile)
[Prince Yonkerdinck and Count Suffer arrive at the scene of the sword fight. Yonkerdinck is wearing a Sherlock Holmes hat]
Yonkerdinck: This was obviously the scene of a terrible clash of blades!
Suffer: But who won? Who was fighting?
Yonkerdinck: Elementry, my boy! These footprints over here are prideful, yet hurried. They lead towards Othercountry. These footprints over there, on the other hand, are clearly embarassed and ashamed, the walk of a loser. I don't care where he ran off to. The winner is the one we need to follow.
Suffer: Wow, you're good...
Yonkerdinck: Well, I AM the best tracker ever known.
*The two continue on*
[Meanwhile...]
[The Ninja has reached the mountain peak, where he sees LN having a pic-a-nic near a blindfolded Cat]
LN: Shoo! I kidnapped her first!
Ninja: Aw, come on...can't we work something out?
LN: No.
Don't come any closer, I have a Wabbajack, and I'm not afraid to use it...on HER! (DUN DUN DUN! *someone gasps*)
Ninja: Cheater.
You are pretty slick though...how about a battle of wits?
LN: Sure! I can take you in anything! Trivial Pursuit, Poker, Concentration, Old Maid, anything!
Ninja: Okay then. I have something different in mind though...hold on a second. *goes off-screen*
*semi-odd noises are heard*
Ninja: *comes back with two glasses* Okay. It's simple. *puts one cup near LN and another near him* Try to figure out which cup of kool-aid is crugged and which isn't. Once you decide, we'll both drink them to see if you're right or not.
LN: Aw, this will be a piece of cake! I mean, maybe you crugged your drink, maybe you crugged mine.
Ninja: Yes, could be either way.
LN: But then again, maybe the Wabbajack is the Book of Knowledge.
Ninja: How is that revelant?
LN: Oh, it's revelant. Maybe I'm smarter because I know cats can be bats can be rats can be hats can be gnats can be thats can be thises.
Ninja: Whoa, my head's spinning now...
LN: I'm on a roll! And that doors can be boars can be snores can be floors can be roars can be spores can be yours can be mine.
Ninja: You call this logic?
LN: Logic IS unlogical, but that's a topic for another time. But you've got to admit, I must be smart, for the interconnective system is very clear to me.
Ninja: Then why, or wherefore do I think that you're mad?
LN: Wabbajack, Wabbajack, Wabbajack.
Ninja: Wait, you're trying to confuse me so I'll give something up! Nice try.
LN: Too late! It never fails! I know which drink is crugged!
Ninja: Okay then, pick one.
LN: I choose...Look behind you! A 3-headed monkey!
Ninja: Where!? *turns*
LN: *switches glasses* Aw, forget it. He got away. Anyhow, let's drink. I've got dibs on my glass.
Ninja: Okay then.
[They both drink their respective kool-aids at the same time]
Ninja: You lose!
LN: Nope, I switched glasses while you weren't looking. Oldest tricks in the book, and you fell for them! Really now, have you ever seen a 3-headed monkey? Now, I'll be taking my damsel in distress and
woah...the rainbow of crugs...Neil? Is your mama a llama? *collapses*
Ninja: *unties Cat*
Cat: So, your glass was crugged all along...
Ninja: Actually, both were crugged. Once you've had crugged coffee, you start to build up an immunity to weaker crugs. Had some just before I set out. Now, let's go.
