You've left out the most obvious alternative: the Cedric controller. It would work something like this:
Kick Cedric in groin = character picks up object
Insert Cedric feet-first into woodchipper = Initiate conversation
Dress Cedric up as a woman and mail him to Larry Laffer = Open door
Force Cedric to play MoE = Open spell book
Burn Cedric at the stake = Open inventory
Rip off Cedric's limbs one at a time and bury him alive in a coffin full of snakes and dance on his grave = combine items in inventory
Same as above, but dancing the Macarena = separate combined items
I really need to get over this whole Cedric thing, don't I? And I was just kidding about MoE, which I actually liked