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First impressions

Started by justluke, August 17, 2006, 03:14:18 AM

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justluke

These are just my first impressions:

The good:

1) The atmosphere - It effectively and accurately evokes the "twee" feel of an authentic KQ game.

2) The artwork - textures, models and 2d art are mostly high quality. The drop down icon bar looks lovely.

The bad:

1) The writing - Sorry, but it often made me wince. Little grammatical mistakes are sprinkled throughout the text and the many poor word choices and awkwardly constructed sentences make much of it seem stilted and clunky. I don't think I need to elaborate on this because other threads cover most of the problems adequately. It really doesn't leave a good impression, though, and at times makes playing the demo a rather painful experience. If I had to describe the writing then I would say that it "makes up with enthusiasm what it lacks in competency". If there was one area of the game that, based on the demo, needs significant revision then it is this.

2) Some of the character animation seems somewhat stiff.

Overall, I'd say that the demo is deeply flawed but shows great potential. I am certain that the completed chapter will be much improved.

Yonkey

#1
Speaking of flaws...

Quote from: justluke on August 17, 2006, 03:14:18 AM
Little grammatical mistakes are sprinkled throughout the text and the many poor word choices and awkwardly constructed sentences make much of it seem stilted and clunky.
This is a run-on sentence (three "ands"). :P

Quote from: justluke on August 17, 2006, 03:14:18 AM
If there was one area of the game that, based on the demo, needs significant revision then it is this.
You missed a comma after "revision". ;)

Quote from: justluke on August 17, 2006, 03:14:18 AM
2) Some of the character animation seems somewhat stiff.
Could you be a bit more specific?  Your sentence is a bit too vague. :)
"A wish changes nothing. A decision changes everything."

Cez

Quote from: Yonkey on August 17, 2006, 08:23:09 PM
Quote from: justluke on August 17, 2006, 03:14:18 AM
2) Some of the character animation seems somewhat stiff.
Could you be a bit more specific?  Your sentence is a bit too vague. :)

Maybe he just chose his words poorly?


Cesar Bittar
CEO
Phoenix Online
cesar.bittar@postudios.com

Delling

Quote from: Yonkey on August 17, 2006, 08:23:09 PM
You missed a comma after "revision". :suffer:

Yonkey, periods and commas always go inside quotation marks.

Also, I think it has been stated repeatedly that the demo was just that a demo--not a finished product. IIRC, it has also been pointed out that many problems have already been fixed. I think this is something like the tenth thread I've read about the grammar. I'm not on the staff here, but I really don't think the grammar is that bad and am a stickler for grammar myself. I've read much worse--in published works no less! I think to say that the writing "makes up with enthusiasm what it lacks in competency" isn't particularly fair. Proofreading is a pain on small projects concentrated in one place (almost always is when more than one person is involved), but this one has been made by fans from all over the place (as I understand it but could be wrong).

Sorry, that last part isn't intended to be directed solely at you but rather moreso at these grammar threads in general.

Aspira, habe fidem, et seda.
Breathe, have faith, and calm down.

*leaves to take his own Latin advice*
Noli me tangere! Nescio ubi fuisti!
Don't touch me! I don't know where you've been!

Marquess of Pembroke
Duke of Saxony in Her Majesty's Court
Knight of the Swan for Her Imperial Highness

...resistance was obviously useless against a family that could invent italics.

"Let the locative live."

http://my.ddo.com/referral/Delling87

Yonkey

Quote from: Delling on August 17, 2006, 08:43:06 PM
Yonkey, periods and commas always go inside quotation marks.
Thanks for the correction, however I wasn't the one commenting on our team's "incompetant use of grammar." ZOMGCHECKITOUTIPUTZDADOTINSIDEWTF! :)

:P
"A wish changes nothing. A decision changes everything."

justluke

#5
Quote from: Yonkey on August 17, 2006, 08:23:09 PM
Quote from: justluke on August 17, 2006, 03:14:18 AM
Little grammatical mistakes are sprinkled throughout the text and the many poor word choices and awkwardly constructed sentences make much of it seem stilted and clunky.
This is a run-on sentence (three "ands"). :P
Actually, the second "and" is a co-ordinating conjunction, so I think you might be mistaken. It could be argued that a comma should be placed before the conjunction, but this is grammatically debatable.
Quote
Quote from: justluke on August 17, 2006, 03:14:18 AM
If there was one area of the game that, based on the demo, needs significant revision then it is this.
You missed a comma after "revision". ;)
Yup.
Quote
Quote from: justluke on August 17, 2006, 03:14:18 AM
2) Some of the character animation seems somewhat stiff.
Could you be a bit more specific?  Your sentence is a bit too vague. :)
And yours seem rather passive aggressive. But I forgive you. ;) Actually, I was referring mainly to Graham's walk cycle, it seems "stiff" rather than"fluid".

This reminds me of another thing I really liked about the demo: the environmental animation. It really breathes life into the outdoor scenes. Well done.

I realise that there are already quite a few threads that negatively criticise the grammar. Perhaps this shows that it is an area that needs particular attention?

I'm sorry if you thought my original post seemed harsh, but I am sure that you appreciate honesty rather than useless, unthinking "This rocks, Dude!!!!" feedback.

Yonkey

#6
Quote from: justluke on August 18, 2006, 03:01:36 AM
Actually, the second "and" is a co-ordinating conjunction, so I think you might be mistaken. It could be argued that a comma should be placed before the conjunction, but this is grammatically debatable.
Well, I'm no Grammar Nazi, but I was always taught that if you can't say a sentence in one breath due to lack of pauses, it's a run-on.  Plus, articifical pauses through the use of excess conjunctions is generally not acceptable.  Particularly in writing from someone over the age of seven or eight. :P

Quote from: justluke on August 18, 2006, 03:01:36 AM
And yours seem rather passive aggressive. But I forgive you. ;)
No need to forgive.  Passive aggression's my specialty. :suffer:

Quote from: justluke on August 18, 2006, 03:01:36 AM
Actually, I was referring mainly to Graham's walk cycle, it seems "stiff" rather than"fluid".
Ahhh ok.  See now this is what I call constructive critcism because I actually agree.  It wasn't as noticable in RC1 because his walkspeed was faster, however, the increased walkspeed was causing him to glide.  He still glides, despite me slowing him down, so you're correct that the animation itself needs some tweaking.  Suffice to say, I'm not an animator so chances are you won't see this happening in a Patch, but rather RC2.  I do suggest you fill out an issue report in the Technical Support forum to report this, so that I remember to look into it. :)

Quote from: justluke on August 18, 2006, 03:01:36 AM
I realise that there are already quite a few threads that negatively criticise the grammar. Perhaps this shows that it is an area that needs particular attention?
Possibly.  However, I'll get our grammar girl Katie to give a qualified opinion that. :)

Quote from: justluke on August 18, 2006, 03:01:36 AM
I'm sorry if you thought my original post seemed harsh, but I am sure that you appreciate honesty rather than useless, unthinking "This rocks, Dude!!!!" feedback.
I do appreciate your feedback, however your criticism was deemed to be inconstructive.  Case in point, you made generalizations about the game insulting its overall quality, rather than being specific to the things you have a major issue with.  As well, you pointed out that many grammar mistakes have already been reported, so in criticizing already known issues, yes, your original post did seem "harsh". ;P

In the future, please respect the rules as stated in the sticky for this forum, and be constructive. :)
"A wish changes nothing. A decision changes everything."