Love & Age

[copycat]

Conversely, if a 30-something guy or older is actually *my* age maturity/experience level, it ergo means he's immature and inexperienced for *his* age level, which I usually find to be kind of a turn-off.

In that case, I'm always screwed with you. You see, my biological age is not the same as my physical age and my psychological age is even different from those two. The biological age is the highest, the physical age is a few years lower and the psychological age, well, I'm not really sure abut that.

Besides, any guy who didn't have a high-functioning brain would just have his eyes start glazing over when I opened my mouth, anyway... and not in a good way, either.

On the other hand, with my above average interest in science and technology, my brain's probably high-functioning enough for you.

BTW, I *hate* my voice. It sounds so bland and little girly and ditzy to my ears. I wish I had a more mature, intellectual, alto and "sensual" sounding voice.

I don't know about anyone else, but it's "sensual" sounding enough for me.

[Say]

Two, I have to feel I'm on the same "level" with them in terms of maturity, life experience, emotional "power", etc. I don't like feeling significantly inferior or superior to a potential mate. (Or to a potential close friend, for that matter.)

A 30-something guy or older is likely to have more life experience, wiser thought process, maturity, etc. than I. So if I was in that sort of experience I'd always feel like "the kid"... not the sort of relationship I'm interested in. (In fact, I usually feel like "the kid" around the older men I'm just friends with, which is bad enough.) I need someone just to love me and experience life with me, not take care of me or protect me. If a guy's already experienced all the stuff that I am currently experiencing, and all the stuff that's new to me is old hat to him, it's just condescending-feeling and depressing. In fact, in many ways I feel vastly inferior to my *roommate*, and he's only 3 years older than I am.

Conversely, if a 30-something guy or older is actually *my* age maturity/experience level, it ergo means he's immature and inexperienced for *his* age level, which I usually find to be kind of a turn-off.

K, I so dont agree with you at all here, the fact a man 30ish can relate to someone 20ish, does not means that the guy is inmature for his age and such, people can be open minded and happen to enjoy so much and dont neccesarily be the stereotypical 30 years old american dude, besides forget about those standarts, thats judgemental.

I dont think age describes maturity AT ALL, it can mean experience but experience does not makes you wise or makes you more intelligent or mature, IMO. It also does not give anything at all, I do know men older than 30's (all my dad's friend) and honestly, yes, sad to say but age does not gives you anything at all but more time on earth, sometimes people go though experiences and not just they dont learn anything at all, they miss them, and gain absolutly nothing. When a guy (this is rare I know) in his first 20's he would have had gone though a lot to get the experience of a 30's and even so, he can be extremely experiences and have a lot of background, but that doesnt makes him mature, as well as someone can be mature without having so much life exprience, its very relative according to life style, family backgrounds, etc, thats why I say to define that its absolutly impossible since everyone its different in their own way, and about the emotional background that comes with personality, not age.

We all go though phases in life, thats true, but I still think that is so not related into age, but more like into lifestyle. Society also drop stupid statements like that all the time, about what you should do in your 20's and what you should do in your 30's, everyone should do what they can reach, at the step they can, maturity does not come with phases, its something you slowly go learning about life, you never stop, I think.

But anyways, anyone is free to date whomever they wanna date, my point is I dont think that makes mature or inmature anyone.

[copycat]

and dont neccesarily be the stereotypical 30 years old american dude,

I can say for sure I am not a stereotypical 30 years old American dude. And, AFAIK, I'm not a stereotypical 30 years old Belgian/Flemish/European (pick your choice) dude either, simply because everyone is different. Like Say says, everbody goes through life in a different way, evolving, can can call it maturing if you like.

[Jeysie]

And what age would that be: your biological, physical or psychological? It's like I said a few posts back, (biological) age is not important, the psychological one is far more.

Physical age. As I said, my mind is more advanced than the rest of me is. Not so much in a strict biological sense, but in a simple logical precept of... I've only been on this planet X years, so I've only had X years to *do* stuff. I may have the mentality of say, a 30 year old, for instance, but I just simply haven't actually been on the planet long enough to rack up the experience to match the mentality. I haven't been to college, I still haven't gotten a good start on a career, etc. So even if I have the same maturity of someone older, they've had enough years to do those things, and I haven't yet.

So it's a dichotomy... it doesn't matter if my mental age is enough to match an older person... my physical age isn't enough for me to have had enough actual experience to match. I'm stuck in the annoying situation of being too intellectual-capacity ahead of my actual experience, knowledge, and wisdom.

Truth be told, I've never been able to figure out why men think I'm older than I really am, anyway. I mean, their flirting was based on initial *physical* presence, not extended intellectual presence. I mean, I don't have prematurely grey hair or wrinkles, I dress conservatively, I don't wear makeup or jewelry, I have a little-girly voice, I have *acne* for pity's sake... it's just weird to me why anyone would look at me and think I was in my 30's or older. And yet people do.

Peace & Luv, Liz

[copycat]

Physical age. As I said, my mind is more advanced than the rest of me is. Not so much in a strict biological sense, but in a simple logical precept of... I've only been on this planet X years, so I've only had X years to *do* stuff. I may have the mentality of say, a 30 year old, for instance, but I just simply haven't actually been on the planet long enough to rack up the experience to match the mentality. I haven't been to college, I still haven't gotten a good start on a career, etc. So even if I have the same maturity of someone older, they've had enough years to do those things, and I haven't yet.

Some people don't really do a lot their whole life, and some people do more in half the time! So it doesn't matter how much time you've had, it's how you spent it.

[Jeysie]

Some people don't really do a lot their whole life, and some people do more in half the time! So it doesn't matter how much time you've had, it's how you spent it.

Well, *I* haven't done as much as I could have in my years so far, so it doesn't matter how "advanced" I am mentally... better explanation? In my life it's due to a combination of dropping out of school, depression, and being perpetually broke. Someday I'd like to finally catch up on what everyone else has gotten to do, but it doesn't seem likely to happen any time soon, at the rate I'm going. Hanging out extensively with people who have already been where I am isn't going to help any.

Peace & Luv, Liz

[Say]

well, I think maybe its just me but I dont feel that bad about many things myself, I mean, Im used to hang a lot with ppl waaay older than me, even at home, my brothers and I have a huge age difference so I think Im sort of used to these things, I mean to be around "experienced" ones or something

I totally understand Jeysie's point since yes, they are always like already gone and back when you are about to get ready to start going or something, but at times its like I so dont even care about that, maybe because I dont see things that way, socially speaking I've always had a great "mind your bussiness and I will mind my own" sort of like with everyone, so what I look foward in people in general, its appreciation and respect, because as I said before I think everyone live their lifes as they want it to be, everyone its responsible and owner of it, BUT if you just dont feel comfortable that way with someone (someone older or stuff, no matter the reasons), its perfectly normal you find to be alright with someone else, thats why we tend to be appealing for some and why some find us appealing, right?

Dont feel bad about those things that were that could have been and such, I know it certainly should be a bit annoying to experience how different its been for some around you or something, life works in strange ways, but certainly looking back on now, its not going to help much then, even more so if it sort of pulls you back or hurts or so, it is hard and soooo easy to be said, but at least helps out to move on I guess.

[KatieHal]

Wow, this turned into QUITE a heavy discussion! I guess it all goes back to that saying... "You gotta kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince."  

GUys vary all over the place. I've known ones younger than to be as mature as I consider myself (which is a good rating, I'd say), and guys older to be blithering immature idiots. It really depends on the person, but they say girls mature faster. My roommate, who's also a 23 year old female, has  boyfriend who is 33 and they've beenn happily dating for almost a year now.

(that doesn't mean *I* think he acts all that much older and more mature...at all or at least not often...but that's me, and I'm not dating him, she is)

Actually, almost all of my boyfriends have been younger than me. And most of them I am still friends with, which I think shows maturity on their behalf, and mine. The only one I don't talk to, I really have nothing in common with (reason why we FINALLY broke up) and I also think we're on two different maturity levels, his having been lower than mine.

And congrats for getting over your camera phobia , Dotty ;-)

[Jeysie]

Hey, I don't have a problem with my not being attracted to older men... it's Say and CopyCat who made a fuss over it.

What I'm more concerned with is why guys my own age aren't interested in me, and why those older men who flirt with me are no longer interested when they find out how old I am. Is the problem simply that guys my own age think I'm too old for them? (I *still* don't get why guys think I'm older than I am, even *before* they talk to me...)

Peace & Luv, Liz

[Say]

I disagreed to the age standarts, that was what my explaining was about, everyone should date whoever they wanna date anyways.

[Say]

"harping" ?

Dont push it, you did make a statement about age which I disagreed with and I shared my opinion in all those posts, its a matter of opinion / perspectives / experiences / whatever  Im not telling you or anyone what to do or not anyways. I think I said it in the previous post and I hope its clear enough now what I was posting about.

[Jeysie]

"harping" ?

<snip>

I think I said it in the previous post and I hope its clear enough now what I was posting about.

Oh, I was just teasing, Say. Don't get your wings in a knot, it's harder to fly that way. I guess I was just surprised anyone would be so passionate about the matter.

Peace & Luv, Liz

[KatieHal]

Jeysie, IIRC, you and I are right about the same age. I'd say it's probably because most of them aren't quite mature enough to appreciate someone who *is*.

Not all of them, just most. And that sounds like one of those stupid 'feel better' lines, but I do honestly imagine it to be true in a number of cases. Cause I ask myself the same thing! And while most of them seem to be growing up...I think that's kinda where they're stuck. Not grown up, per se, and clinging to younger rowdy days of fun, not realizing you can have just as much fun while being mature, too.  

Or as a friend of mine said to me - "Don't worry, you'll find your knight in glasses soon."

It's funny because it's true...  

[copycat]

I guess I was just surprised anyone would be so passionate about the matter.

I was just explaining my own opinion on the age thing.

Well... seeing as how every guy I've asked up to this point on the matter has said "I don't know why men don't like you... I'd date you if I wasn't gay/taken/too old/too young/too far away.", I guess that's no worse a speculation.

How can a man consider himself too old or too young for you? At most he can consider you too young/too old.
PS: I don't think you're too young. Do you think I'm too old?

[Jeysie]

How can a man consider himself too old or too young for you? At most he can consider you too young/too old.

Well, seeing as how *I* can consider myself too young or too old for somebody, I don't see why a guy couldn't feel the same way.

Besides, "I don't know why men don't like you... I'd date you if I wasn't gay/I wasn't taken/you weren't too old/you weren't too young/I wasn't too far away." doesn't flow as well.

PS: I don't think you're too young. Do you think I'm too old?

I, er, uh, plead the fifth.

Peace & Luv, Liz

[copycat]

I, er, uh, plead the fifth.

Don't evade the question. I'm a big boy, I can take rejection (it won't stop me flirting though. )

[Jeysie]

Don't evade the question. I'm a big boy, I can take rejection (it won't stop me flirting though. )

OK, yeah, you're a wee too old. You do realize I'm two months and a week shy of 24, right?

Peace & Luv, Liz

[Jeysie]

NO need to hide it unless your afraid of some love struck guy tracking you down and kiddnapping you.

(that's why I don't post my pic....it's to risky  - I mean you never know who's out there!)

I dunno... I think at this point I wouldn't mind some love-struck guy tracking me down and kidnapping me.

But hey, AFAIK, Say already got kidnapped by a love-struck guy!

Peace & Luv, Liz

[Say]

hahaha, careful what you wish for
you may get it

[copycat]

OK, yeah, you're a wee too old. You do realize I'm two months and a week shy of 24, right?

I have really broad age-margins, so 23 or 24 is absolutely no problem.
Anway, why is a biological age difference of 7 or 6 years so bad?