The Rant Thread !!!

[B'rrr]

lol, yeahh... we party anyway ; ) hahaha.... serious, hope you did well Neil!!

[copycat]

omg, bob plz dont... plz
you are tha bi.tch, the few times that you've tried you've been mean and cruel, and I dont like those things.

Thank you for confirming my bi.tch-qualities. I'll try and be good from now on.

As for exams, I usually expected the worst, so when the results came it was always good.

[racx_00]

My b.itch of the week finally is over!!  The stupid exam is done!!!   I think I did ok on it, but I'll wait until I get the marks back before celebrating.  

Hope your marks are good

[Yonkey]

As for exams, I usually expected the worst, so when the results came it was always good.

That's what I do as well.  Unfortunately, it sucks when you get even worse than what you're expecting.

Thanks again guys!  I'll probably know the marks on Monday or Thursday (the last day of classes, so I'll have to know by then).  

[racx_00]

I usually think of the worst and get the worst

[Say]

well one way or another life gets even (I hope)

you do really good at something and in some other you just simply dont I guess, its a matter of... survive ? I dont know dont mind me lets whine together  


I feel my life sucks my existance is freaking meaningless and I wanna jump in front of the subway in movement


oh yeah, happy post alright

[racx_00]

I want to jump off a cliff , thats how crap i feel at the moment

[Jeysie]

I have a blood blister in my left heel. Yech.

I've been feeling crappy, too. I've got problems with not fitting in, and feeling like I can't do anything right, and being envious of other people, and not being happy with myself.

I used to have sucky jobs, so I could just focus on how crappy the job was, and ignore the rest. Now that I have a job that's OK, it makes me realize how much I suck.

Is there anything in specific making you unhappy that you want to talk about Say, and Racx, or are you just feeling miserable in general?

Peace & Luv, Liz

[B'rrr]

yeahhh... <sigh> life sucks and so do I ; (

...but there is no need for any cliffs or subways  

*cast a spell that gives Racx wingz*

*holdz say, so she can't jump*

*gives a bandage to Jeysie*

[Say]

let me put it this way

you focus your life in one track, and when you realize its just never enough for you and no matter how hard you try you just wont have it all, its depressing to work so hard and always have... nothing? you know?

I mean, dont get me wrong, I feel very please I've appeared in magazines, press, I was even on tv lol (when I won the contest), I have awards and degrees and all that bullshit, Im in honor list and even the dean at campus loves me, its all... good, in fact its great, but its not enough, its like... I have it all and to my own, kq9 is a beautiful place where I happen to share my things with the nice people around, but even so... lol I think you guys are the only ones I do get to talk with, Im always busy, Im always working, Im always like.. too busy to live at least a little or something, I dont know its very hard to say or explain, I just feel extremely unhappy even so I have things to be thankful and to feel great for, all I have is work and sadly every single achievements I have noone to share them with sometimes, it feels lonely to be me.

It's just sad, my life turned out to be just freaking hell in a miserably week, while work is all... doing just wow, great, its all coming out together, thesis its going on great, my life just plain sucks, problems at home, problems with myself, problems with the few ones I freaking care about, its like, I need to tear myself in two, but I rather hide at work rather than to give a s*** about the rest, at least is easier, but then again when work fails or when work is done for the day (I cant work 24/7 no matter how hard I try) there is always that moment of my day that I get to think how much I want what I cant have, and how much I need what I never find, its just plain sad, and I hate myself for not being as perfect as everyone think I am or everything, not that it matters, but the fact is Im my worst judge and I just wish I had the answers to at least give myself peace of mind.

wow, a serious long depressing post... looks like my journal...

[Jeysie]

It seems to me like you need to simplify a little bit, Say.

There's not much you can do while you're finishing your studies, but after that... take some time to figure out what you want to do, and what makes you happy. Then focus as best you can on that and let the rest go hang.

You can't "have it all"... it's just physically impossible. So concentrate on just having the things that are important to you. Maybe you consider friends important. Maybe it's creative expression. Maybe it's being respected. Maybe it's just having free time to sit and veg. Whatever it is, go after those things, and don't sweat the other stuff.

Yeah, you have to compromise in some spots... a person needs to eat and stay sheltered, after all, and sometimes you have to do a few things you don't like to manage that. But for the most part... it just sounds to me like you're trying to do too much, and most of it isn't really stuff that matters to you. All the awards and such don't mean much if it's not things that really make you happy.

Blow off other people's comments a little bit for the time being, too. Everybody's always got some idea of what you should be, and what you should do, and sometimes that can be useful to listen to and consider. But in the end, you're the one living your life, not them.

Peace & Luv, Liz

[Say]

I totally understand and I guess you're right, the problem is not that I try to do too much, the problem is one is the scapegoat of another? I mean, I do love my job dont get me wrong but there is no possible way I could have been where I am with just 21 years old anyways if I didnt do what I did, yet its like.. seriously I have nothing of my own my own you know? these goes go away, achievements always look good in a CV, no denial in that but that's all that is, and no I cant slow down, in fact, this is one of the phases of my life (again) when I just cant stop, for example, when I finished highschool I entered right away to the university, I almost did a 5 year career in 4 with excellent grades I couldnt actually make it because of administrative problems at campus that the whole university shut down for like 3 months :s, anyhow, now I havent even ended university and I do have things to look foward but also I look at what it is right now, and I have uncompleted pieces of a life, its like... what is it to have a good chocolate if you cant share it?! you know? well I dont know, probably it's just me, my family plays a different role on this because I cant continue living their life I need my own and instead of being a load I rather be a help, I may have a lot of my head but at the same time I have noone there for me either, it feels really ackward, its just a really bad moment I guess. I'll shut up now and go back to my lame ass jokes, I dont even like me like this lol


hey its weekend, I should announce the bi.tch of the week...

[copycat]

Apart from the people in this forum, and my work-colleagues, I don't have any real friends either.

[Say]

I totally relate to that (and co-workers here at kq9 I personally even dislike some of my clients lol )

[Jeysie]

Well, if you feel like you can't slow down right now, Say, that's fine. Just remember... assuming the average female lifespan, you've got at least 60 years left to go... better to look and see if you can let some things take a little bit longer to do, then to try to do it all at once and get burned out.

Plus... you *do* have a lot of life to live... if it seems like some things are missing right now, or you feel things are crappy right now, that's OK. For the former, there's plenty of time to figure out what you need and go get it. For the latter, there's a saying that has helped me keep my sanity many a time... "This too shall pass." And then there's the Serenity Prayer... something that even an agnostic can recognize the value of. (An online friend mailed me a coin with the text embedded on it, and I carry it around with me, since I need to remind myself of it a lot. )

As for friends... the only offline friend I have is Harrison... if it wasn't for him I really would have lost my sanity a long time ago. I don't fit in very well with my co-workers (they're nice people, they're just not the kind of people I can relate to), and I seldom go anywhere else. I enjoy talking to my online friends very much , although it's not entirely the same.

Peace & Luv, Liz

[copycat]

I don't fit in very well with my co-workers (they're nice people, they're just not the kind of people I can relate to), and I seldom go anywhere else. I enjoy talking to my online friends very much , although it's not entirely the same.

Well, that's something I was lucky with, and that's my (male) co-workers, there's one slightly older than me, and another a bit younger, but we're all ICT and game-minded, amongst other things, so at regular times you can hear a laugh resounding on our cosy office container. There's also a woman I can relate to, she's also somewhat younger than me IIRC, but she's at another 'desk-island' a bit farther away (not our fault, we had one space left at out four-space island, but she wanted to sit at the other one.)

[B'rrr]

hey its weekend, I should announce the bi.tch of the week...

*waiting* ; (

..heyy, wouldn't it be a good idea to skipp that??

[Say]

my whole life switched off since end of last year... but... in 360º and ever since I havent had a single moment of peace that I can even sit down and watch tv for like at least 5 mins in calm, the only thing I have is to listen to music while I work, and go hug my puppies every now and then to take off the stress, but really... I had to become a new better version of me, It was simply like a downward spiral, I think I want the rollercaster to end, I want to settle, to me happyness is overrated but to at least to know that I will have something that will always be there? for good or bad you know? of my own... oh well, thanks for that prayer its absolutly beautiful, I will keep it with me too

[Say]

no, no waiting, in fact

I am the bi.tch of the week, let me wear my crown of shi.t in my fuked up throne...

*wears crown and sits on throne*

[Jeysie]

Well, that's something I was lucky with, and that's my (male) co-workers, there's one slightly older than me, and another a bit younger, but we're all ICT and game-minded, amongst other things, so at regular times you can hear a laugh resounding on our cosy office container. There's also a woman I can relate to, she's also somewhat younger than me IIRC, but she's at another 'desk-island' a bit farther away (not our fault, we had one space left at out four-space island, but she wanted to sit at the other one.)

Heh. My co-workers, it's like... they all seem fairly conservative, they spend their free time at sports bars, and flea markets, and shooting ranges, and fishing and hunting, and car races, and stuff like that. There's nothing wrong with any of that at all, it's just none of the sort of stuff that interests me, or that I feel I can relate to or talk about.

I've never really fit in anywhere, so I'm pretty used to being in the background and keeping to myself, for the most part. The problem is that it's a small company (there's only about 15 employees), so it's hard to keep to myself without coming off as aloof or rude, especially since most of my co-workers are fairly gregarious. (Also something I can't really relate to.)

oh well, thanks for that prayer its absolutly beautiful, I will keep it with me too

I'm glad you like it. Unfortunately the coin I was sent is pretty old, so I don't know where to find another... but maybe I can cross-stitch it for you or something. (Of course, by time I get to actually do it, we'll all be looking back on this from our rockers and laughing... (sigh) )

Peace & Luv, Liz