Best Twlight Reviews EVER (SPOILERS)

[Haids1987]

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! See, I've made my peace with that by now, so I hardly think about it anymore and it doesn't seem all too weird to me now.

Oh God.  Listen to me.

[KatieHal]

Hahaha, you're a perfect example of what the guy says: "And...everyone's just okay with this?"

[MikPal]

Wait, being pale makes you a vampire in the Twilight zone?

Vampires are pale.  Bella is pale.  Therefore, Bella is a vampire.

My god, my hands. I'm a vampire!! Except it was the cold winter that stung me!! What will become of me? A Snowsferatu? Will I roam around the country in a van full of other people like me and make sure that no car on our path will ever start without a proper heating?

Wait a minute... Has anybody staked MJ's body yet? Just to be sure.

[Delling]

I enjoyed that clip too much. When the phone rang, I was totally expecting him to just divert from the battle and start talking to Bella... stand up, breaking their cover, start whining that she wanted to *gasp* go do something (anything! seriously, anything) with someone other than him (seriously, anything... sleep without him looming over her for a change... go to the movies with some friends (I don't think Princess Petulanta has many left by the end of the series who aren't in-laws but whatever, I'm being hypothetical here), defend herself from some assailants, A N Y T H I N G).

Wait, being pale makes you a vampire in the Twilight zone?

Vampires are pale.  Bella is pale.  Therefore, Bella is a vampire.

My god, my hands. I'm a vampire!!

I am pretty pale... fortunately, I'm not pale enough to have had this happen to me. If that becomes a thing, I... wait, I've just had a terrible realization: in the books, the werewolves are all manner of "red" synonyms and the vampires are all manner of "pale" synonyms. ... Does this mean we can rank people's skin tone on a scale from vampire to werewolf? ... ... *feels disturbed*

Also, "snowsferatu", I lol'd.

[Enchantermon]

You're killing me, Smalls!  What is so shocking?! 

Oh, sorry. I didn't realize your post before that was actually asking. But yeah, that's what I was referring to.

[MikPal]

Also, "snowsferatu", I lol'd.

No, no!! You must not do that. It was the worst of the worst of the most worst puns. A pathetic attempt at something that can only give birth to animals with 'tude. Like a vampire yeti in cap and sneakers running around a maze caves trying to hunt down coins or toenails or something else of sentimental value.

Wait a minute...

I think it just might work. Maybe if we were to design him to look like George Michael. The Faith-era George Michael. With leather jackets as 1ups and when the player leaves the controller on the floor the vampire yeti gets annoyed and starts to sniff its armpits. Yes.... It might just work.

Quickly!! Get me the phonenumber of Stephenie Meyer! Only she can write the novelization!! I am not drunk, only bathing in my own agrophobia! We'll be rich I tell you!! RICH, not with money, but with something!!

[KatieHal]

Quickly!! Get me the phonenumber of Stephenie Meyer! Only she can write the novelization!! I am not drunk, only bathing in my own agrophobia! We'll be rich I tell you!! RICH, not with money, but with something!!

...with the hatred of people with good taste all the world over?

...with the ire of parents who must suffer through their teen daughters demanding to spend money on this product?

....with the knowledge that we've made the world just a tiny bit worse and sold a little slice of our souls?

[MikPal]

Sorry, but I have to ask the question:

Could this mean that mr Cage will be appearing in the next Twilight movie?

[Haids1987]

Leave it to a freaking weirdo Seattleite to pull something like this! Mutants like this give us a bad name.

[Buddy1991]

Sorry, but I have to ask the question:

Could this mean that mr Cage will be appearing in the next Twilight movie?

You made my day. Thx for that

[writerlove]

http://markreadstwilight.buzznet.com/user/journal/4931481/mark-reads-eclipse-chapter-2/

This one made me die laughing. Wow that is probably the funniest thing I have ever read. Perfectly obnoxious and sums up a teenybopper mindset.

[LadyTerra]

http://markreadstwilight.buzznet.com/user/journal/4931481/mark-reads-eclipse-chapter-2/

This one made me die laughing. Wow that is probably the funniest thing I have ever read. Perfectly obnoxious and sums up a teenybopper mindset.

 I love this guy's articles.

Review from Spill.com on Breaking Dawn Part 1.  These guys are awesome.

http://my.spill.com/profiles/blogs/twilight-breaking-dawn-part-1-audio-review