My name is Crispinophur, however, as I said before. Maybe you need your eyes checked! I've a spell for that, if you're interested. Cedric is quite well, thank you.
I will be sure to pass on your welcome to the great Wizard, Gandalf and the elf Lady Galadriel, she of the Golden Wood if I see them again. I'm sure they will appreciate your concern. I haven't seen Frodo in years, rumor has it sailed off into the west. He hasn't been seen again, and his family and friends worry that he might have died. If you find out anything more through your magic could you let us know if he is safe?
I apologize Crispinophur, sir, I was mislead under good authority namely the name of your column, and your friend Cedric, and King Graham, and Derek Karlavaegen, that you prefer being called 'Crispin'. Were they somehow confused?
If you are referring to name Merlin, he who once owned the Magic Mirror of Daventry. There are rumors
that you and Cedric are Merlin and Archimedes, living in Serenia under assumed identities. Sure there is no evidence to know for sure, and I apologize for spreading such gossip. But inquiring minds wanna know.
Hmm, I suppose that your mission to the 'nearby land' must have been top secret, and thus you cannot reveal further. Graham hinted you went to learn more about Mordack there, and has no idea where you went. But beyond that even he was a bit miffed you left him with a faulty wand, and he feels you gave him the Bird, literally... However, he was greatful for what help you offered. In the end the wand and the fowl one, saved his life, and that of his family. Without them he wouldn't be around today.
-Yours Truly, Zippo Lightfoot-Baggins of The Shire.
P.S. If you ever come to visit the Shire, you are welcome to share first & second breakfasts, and even elevenses with me. There is plenty to go around, and we so love to hear stories of Wizards, and their quests. As my cousin-many times removed, Bilbo, used to say, you can never have too much company (even when they are dwarves). Its true except for maybe those fire dwarves of Mount Doo...The Barren Region... They are bad company all around. But excuse my digression; I'm not suggesting you are one of the Little Folk. Since your tastes are refined, I'll make sure the best pipe-weed is available.
P.P.S. When is Cedric going to get the respect he deserves, and get his own column? 'Ask Cedric', I like the sound of that. BTW,I'm glad to hear that Cedric is in good spirits. Knowing him he perhaps has been imbibing in those spirits a little too much, but I digress. He has earned the right in my book, and there is plenty of Shire Ale to go around if you bring him along.