Author Topic: Ask Crispin! (Read 10834 times)

Ask Crispin · « **Reply #40 on:** November 24, 2010, 11:58:13 AM »

Quote from: Lambonius on November 23, 2010, 02:37:13 PM

Dear Crispin,

I am 12 years old and recently I've discovered that my voice is becoming deeper and I am starting to grow hair where I previously had none. I'm terrified I'm becoming a werewolf. Help!

I'm afraid it sounds like lycanthropy has struck, young sir! Best of luck to you. I recommend staying in a nice, safe cage on the full moon, and avoiding silver trinkets at all costs!

Quote from: Jujuba on November 23, 2010, 04:00:28 PM

Hi, Crispin! How old are you?

Old enough to know better and to care, Jujuba! How about you? Hehe!

Baggins · « **Reply #41 on:** November 24, 2010, 12:31:08 PM »

Wilco, no offense is taken. Its an easy typo to do for anyone, and in my case it was further complicated by making that post on an Iphone. Stuipd autocorrection/predictive typing.

crayauchtin · « **Reply #42 on:** November 25, 2010, 07:58:15 PM »

Dear Crispin,

Would you like an iPhone as a gift for the holidays? I think Baggins is about ready to get rid of his.

What holidays do you celebrate anyways?

With love,
The Phone Fairy

Baggins · « **Reply #43 on:** November 25, 2010, 09:12:38 PM »

Me get rid of my iPhone 4? Perish the thought. Lol

DarkTerror · « **Reply #44 on:** December 03, 2010, 01:00:08 PM »

Hello Crispin,

I was wondering what history you had with the old hag that once inhabited the forest very close to you. There's a rumor going around that when both of you were much younger and hip, she had a need, that you weren't willing to satisfy and she became this old biddy. You guys ever do stuff together? Karaoke?

LightWarrior · « **Reply #45 on:** December 25, 2010, 04:31:05 AM »

Hey Crispin how's health? How are you doing in general?

waltzdancing · « **Reply #46 on:** February 10, 2011, 07:48:05 PM »

Crispin,

For years I have been trying to learn a second language but never could pick it up until I met this traveling salesman with a potion called "Languages in a bottle: No side effects." I took it and suddenly I knew 40 languages. However I am suddenly having this strange uncontrollable urge for pickles. Do you have a cure?

-waltz

kindofdoon · « **Reply #47 on:** February 10, 2011, 08:13:10 PM »

dark-daventry · « **Reply #48 on:** February 10, 2011, 08:15:08 PM »

Quote from: waltzdancing on February 10, 2011, 07:48:05 PM

Crispin,

For years I have been trying to learn a second language but never could pick it up until I met this traveling salesman with a potion called "Languages in a bottle: No side effects." I took it and suddenly I knew 40 languages. However I am suddenly having this strange uncontrollable urge for pickles. Do you have a cure?

-waltz

I think Crispin may actually answer this question in the next column...

waltzdancing · « **Reply #49 on:** February 10, 2011, 08:29:19 PM »

Yay! I have totally learned my lesson, no more short cuts. It is all book learning from here on out.

KatieHal · « **Reply #50 on:** February 10, 2011, 08:32:55 PM »

But pickles are delicious!

waltzdancing · « **Reply #51 on:** February 10, 2011, 08:33:39 PM »

Not when you keep eating them and eating them and eating them. It does horrible things to a person.

dark-daventry · « **Reply #52 on:** February 10, 2011, 08:48:46 PM »

I hate pickles... The smell alone makes me gag.

nekrotrip · « **Reply #53 on:** February 20, 2011, 06:01:55 PM »

Dear Crispin,

Is there marijuana in the world of Daventry?

Ask Crispin · « **Reply #54 on:** February 20, 2011, 06:09:12 PM »

Quote from: nekrotrip on February 20, 2011, 06:01:55 PM

Dear Crispin,

Is there marijuana in the world of Daventry?

Dear Nekrotrip,

I will get back to you on that--after I finish eating these delicious crisp cheese-flavored snacks!

-Crispin

nekrotrip · « **Reply #55 on:** February 25, 2011, 06:36:53 PM »

Quote from: Ask Crispin on February 20, 2011, 06:09:12 PM

Quote from: nekrotrip on February 20, 2011, 06:01:55 PM
Dear Crispin,

Is there marijuana in the world of Daventry?

Dear Nekrotrip,

I will get back to you on that--after I finish eating this delicious crisp cheese-flavored snacks!

-Crispin

Why thank you oh wise wizard, that answers my question!

(Posted on: February 20, 2011, 09:14:30 PM)

Dear Crispin,

Iv'e got another question for ya: What is that contraption outside your house, really?

philthethrill · « **Reply #56 on:** September 11, 2011, 12:48:21 AM »

Dear Crispin,

I have an extremely terrible affliction that is ruining my entire life. I have Irritable Bowel Syndrome. I can't enjoy food anymore without having extreme emergencies which can only be cured by long hours of solitude behind closed doors. Do you have a cure for this wretched disease? Please help me. I've had to avoid all activities that deal with food and I won't be able to attend any more banquets. Right now I'm living on dry bread and water and food that has no taste as part of a strict diet that the doctor put me on. What should I do? I cannot get married and pass down this conditon to my children, can I? My future wife, if I ever have one, would never let me hear the end of it.

Waiting to hear from you with high expectations knowing that magic will help me lead a normal life instead of one in solitude.

philthethrill

P.S. I'll have to change my name. There's nothing thrilling about my life when I'm suffering in silence.

Fierce Deity · « **Reply #57 on:** September 18, 2011, 03:36:31 PM »

Dear Crispin,

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

m0sh · « **Reply #58 on:** October 03, 2011, 08:02:39 PM »

Yo Crisp'

Who do you think would win in a free-for-all cage match between Manannan, Mordack, Telgrin, Ravenlos, Lucreto & Shadrack?

waltzdancing · « **Reply #59 on:** October 03, 2011, 10:36:05 PM »

Shadrack, because he is hardcore. He was able to knock out Alexander without even leaving his hideout. Anyone who can do that, would certainly win.