Ask Crispin!

[Deloria]

Shadrack, because he is hardcore. He was able to knock out Alexander without even leaving his hideout. Anyone who can do that, would certainly win.

A spoiler? Confirmation that the cloaked man is, in fact, not Shadrack?

[flitchard]

Dear Crispin.

I recently picked up this weird ring I found on my journey through the mountains.

Only problem is, now there's this weird creature skulking around after me, hissing about "His Preciousss" or some rubbish.

How can I make him go away?

B. B

[snabbott]

 

[Lambonius]

Dear Crispin,

When is Baggins coming back?  I miss his pedantic nit-pickery.

Sincerely,

Lambo

[Sir Perceval of Daventry]

Narrator: Crispin does not reply.

[Lambonius]

Narrator: Crispin does not reply.

That sentence is WAY too short to be the TSL narrator.  You of all people should know better.  haha

[Sir Perceval of Daventry]

Narrator: Crispin does not reply.

That sentence is WAY too short to be the TSL narrator.  You of all people should know better.  haha

Narrator: Crispin does not reply. Hearing the name "Baggins" reminds him of a short, nervous little fellow he knew a long time ago, back when Crispin was young. His mind is heavy with thoughts of those long ago days. His heart grows heavy, knowing they are over. He remembers a girl he loved in his youth, when he lived up in the Serenian Mountains. Her name was Goldi, and she was beautiful, strong and adventurous in more ways than one. His mind pores over the painful, black memories of the day she was killed, when a giant boulder of snow ran her over. His body shivers and his soul aches as he remembers the sight of her body splattered like a squashed Custard Pie on the icy ground. He feels his heart melting into a puddle of slushy icing, like a cake left out in the rain as the memories wash over his mind, but he shakes his head, forgetting what that Lamb person's question was. Crispin sighs. He has been more and more forgetful lately. Where is Cedric, he wonders?

[929572]

Narrator: Crispin does not reply.

That sentence is WAY too short to be the TSL narrator.  You of all people should know better.  haha

Narrator: Crispin does not reply. Hearing the name "Baggins" reminds him of a short, nervous little fellow he knew a long time ago, back when Crispin was young. His mind is heavy with thoughts of those long ago days. His heart grows heavy, knowing they are over. He remembers a girl he loved in his youth, when he lived up in the Serenian Mountains. Her name was Goldi, and she was beautiful, strong and adventurous in more ways than one. His mind pores over the painful, black memories of the day she was killed, when a giant boulder of snow ran her over. His body shivers and his soul aches as he remembers the sight of her body splattered like a squashed Custard Pie on the icy ground. He feels his heart melting into a puddle of slushy icing, like a cake left out in the rain as the memories wash over his mind, but he shakes his head, forgetting what that Lamb person's question was. Crispin sighs. He has been more and more forgetful lately. Where is Cedric, he wonders?

Funniest thing I've read all day.

[Lambonius]

Narrator: Crispin does not reply.

That sentence is WAY too short to be the TSL narrator.  You of all people should know better.  haha

Narrator: Crispin does not reply. Hearing the name "Baggins" reminds him of a short, nervous little fellow he knew a long time ago, back when Crispin was young. His mind is heavy with thoughts of those long ago days. His heart grows heavy, knowing they are over. He remembers a girl he loved in his youth, when he lived up in the Serenian Mountains. Her name was Goldi, and she was beautiful, strong and adventurous in more ways than one. His mind pores over the painful, black memories of the day she was killed, when a giant boulder of snow ran her over. His body shivers and his soul aches as he remembers the sight of her body splattered like a squashed Custard Pie on the icy ground. He feels his heart melting into a puddle of slushy icing, like a cake left out in the rain as the memories wash over his mind, but he shakes his head, forgetting what that Lamb person's question was. Crispin sighs. He has been more and more forgetful lately. Where is Cedric, he wonders?

Bravo!  hahaha

(Posted on: November 11, 2011, 10:02:45 PM)

Dear Crispin,

Just wondering if you received my last question.  My post owl has been a bit under the weather lately.

--Lambo

(Posted on: November 21, 2011, 08:45:33 PM)

Dear Crispin,

Why do birds suddenly appear every time you're near?

--Lambo

[snabbott]

Dear Crispin,

Why do birds suddenly appear every time you're near?

--Lambo

...and why are those birds so ANNOYING?

[Deloria]

My dearest, darlingest Crispin,

I find the endless plays, balls, operas, garden parties and the dressing up and making speeches rife with propaganda tedious. The duties that are associated with being a salonnière, the object of worship of a small religion and the beloved leader of a horde of minions are dull and I can't bear it. I implore you to save me from the rushing, desperate boredom. Run away with me! We'll elope and bake cupcakes and you can teach me how to make feathers and sparkles and snowflakes and turn into a cat!


Affectueusement,

Deloria

(Posted on: 02 February 2012, 18:33:36)

My dearest, darlingest Crispin,

Dear Sir,

You seem to have refused to acknowledge the baring of my soul to you, the gut-wrenching public humiliation I have endured to prove to you my love on a public forum, and, having received no reply, I have decided to remove myself from the temptation of your presence, put my heart into a tiny box, seal it forever and forsake you. Should you care about my whereabouts, I shall tell you that I have since started a torrid love-affair with someone quite insane and very charming, who, while he does fancy himself Derek Karlavaegen, worships me beyond measure in a way that you never have and never could. We intend to elope shortly. You, Sir, are a cowardly cad to have led me on like this and would I not value the life of my champion over my honour, I should insist that he duel you. 

And in spite of that, I shall never forget you, for it was with you that I discovered my true self and my true calling. It is because of you that I intend to conquer the world and it is because of you that I shall brutally, ruthlessly and mercilessly strike down everyone who withholds from me their deepest affection. The world will love me. I shall see to that. And please don't forget that it shall all be your fault and that this might all have been avoided.

With deepest regrets,
Deloria

[dark-daventry]

Deloria, keep an eye out for the next ask crispin; he told me he put your question in it

[Deloria]

My dearest Crispin,

Though I most vehemently hated and cursed you for ignoring me, I am now aware that that has only made me crave your approval, attention and deepest affections as I have from no other and, though I wish it were otherwise, I know I can never be happy until they are mine. Please, please forgive me my impatience and spite for I have never been in this position before and knew not how to act when overcome with such feelings of rejection. I beg you to reconsider, though I understand if you cannot. If I receive no reply to this note, I will take my vows. I do not intend to be heard from in any social or public circle again, though I will lament my plight and think of you daily. Perhaps someday, if you ever do come to love me, you can rescue me. I shall always love you.

With a very heavy heart, I am eternally your

Deloria