POStudios Forum

Right! Today, I said something really stupid in class, which made everyone laugh...through my own stupidity yet again.  ::)

It was in religious studies and our teacher was giving hints to try and get a bible reference to answer this question about theodicy and his hint was-

*Its something you will do after uni*

and for some reason (being half alseep) i thought to myself and said to my friend...*theres no book in the bible that sounds like graduate!*

Ofcourse the answer was Job, but it gave my friends the giggles lol.

anyway, I have said many stupid things in my time that seem to get people in stitches...i dont mean to sound so dumb, but sometimes its just *one of those days.*

Please help me by writing down the dumbest things you have said or heard, so it makes my day better!  :)

*Kimbo, the student formerly known as Dumbo!*

I say so many stupid things I can't keep track of them all. :P Harrison's got a collection of "Liz-isms" on his computer... I should dig them up an humiliate myself. ;)

I suffer from major foot-in-mouth disease... I say stuff, and then two seconds after I said it realize how dumb/not a good idea it was. Of course, it's too late by that point. :P

Peace & Luv, Liz

Feet are tasty. ;D

Liz-isms!!!! YEH! I HAV KIMMISMS....the best one was *i feel so unmoneyish* you can tell I am an A grade English LAnguage student can't u, my vocab is so diverse  ::)...my defense for that word is that is a new coining...ahem...yeh right :S

one of my best friends has *foot and mouth disease* actually she usually gets called a cow after she speaks, coz altho she doesnt mean to, she really digs herself a hole...and then digs further, and then she cant get out hence her other nickname *moley* she can be quite offensive to both me and my other best friend without meaning to be...she kinda makes u feel about 2 inches tall...but we  <3 her anyway coz she just doesnt think

Oh my gosh! I could so add to this...especially with my job!  I'll keep ya'll updated!

Cat

LOL! I love this topic already. In college, my roommates and I had a quote board, which was in fact several pieces of cloud patterned poster board that grew over three years as we covered it with more and more quotes from ourselves and our friends. It rocked.

A few choice things I've said:

"So, I decided my New Year's resolution would be to do fewer stupid things, but I've already broken it like six times today!"

(to a guy I knew my roommate had broken up with the day before after a brief fling)
Me: (reading his shirt, not thinking) "Been dumped?"
Him: Actually, yeah...
Me: (realzing and trying to cover) Oh, umm...what does the back of the shirt say?

Ahh, stupid things :)

Quote"So, I decided my New Year's resolution would be to do fewer stupid things, but I've already broken it like six times today!"

:suffer: love it!!

another one in religious studies-
*kim describe hell*...
*ok, erm its a place that is firey and has the devil in it*...
*your gonna do well in your exams!*[/glow]

Haha! For me, it's more the things that I don't say. My mind wanders continually, and sometimes I'll come back from fairyland to realise I just trailed off mid-sentence in a conversation with someone, and now they think I'm insane :-[ :D. The worst is when my mouth is hanging open.

Although sometimes when I say something stupid, instead of letting it go, I just keep on digging my own grave. Very embarressing :-[

Heheh...most of this site is made-up of stupid things I've said or heard: http://gphoen616.topcities.com (http://gphoen616.topcities.com)
I'm "Weasel" on there.  My favorite section is the Library page, because that's everyone after a hard day of school and we tend to be extra stupid.  Then again, they all have some real gems in them...

With me... it's not so much that I'm stupid... it's just that me and the world operate on two completely different wavelengths. What makes sense to me makes absolutely no sense to everyone else, and vice versa. :P I guess sometimes I don't give off a sense of idiocy, so much as I give off a sense of "Liz, what in the bloody Hell are you talking about?"

Anyhoo. I dug up a few "Liz-isms"...

"The truth is the truth. And even if you don't like it, it's still the truth!"

"It's no fun talking about somebody behind their back if they don't turn around every once in a while."

"I would be derelict in my paranormal junkie duties if I didn't watch something called 'Alien Abduction'."

I could swear Harrison had more... I think I need to dig some more.

Peace & Luv, Liz

YES!  Jeysie, dig dig dig! We must see these Lizisms!  Those ones are pretty funny, but I bet there's even better ones!

I accidentally said something insulting once...

When visiting this one house that has pets, I was concerned about my allergies, but I tried to signal to my parents that I was ok after all by saying "I can smell dust, none here though." The host only heard the first part apparently.  :-\ Shoulda said "I have the ability to detect dust very well, but I detect no dust at all here."  :S

This wasn't stupid...but it was hilarious!  Some of you already know it, but I have to tell the story again!

I was at work on Monday.  This guy comes in looking at stuff for the woman's *cough* libido.  He was wanting something for his wife.  So anyway, I ask him if I can help him with anything.  He asks me which of the products is the best.  I point to one and say: Well, my husband loves this one.  Won't let me go a day without it!  

Well, what can I say? He bought the product!

Cat

This happened to a dear friend of mine who was working at the front desk of the Arts Building at my University.  There are several different theatres in the building, depending on the size of the venue.

Anyway, a couple comes in, asking, "Could you tell us where the Rebecca Cohn Auditorium is?"

She replied, "You just go in right under the sign Rebecca Cohn Auditorium."

She was so embarassed, as she didn't realize how that was going to sound until she said it. :D

mmmm so many things is hard to pick one as the most stupid :P

I thought of another one! ;P

Way back a few years ago I went with Harrison to one of his barbershop chorus rehearsals for the first time. At one point I had to go to the ladies' room, but I was unfamiliar with the building, obviously. So I went over to Harrison... and I meant to say "Where's the bathroom?", and I swear that's what I thought, too. But what came out was... "Where's the table?"

In my defense, there were a few folded-up tables nearby. But it was still stupid. (And Harrison still picks on me about it to this day.)

Peace & Luv, Liz

Well today, my friend stew was trying to defend himself saying that these girls didnt fancy him (they so do fancy him, us women can tell these things) anyway, he said
*you know when someone fancies you coz they flirt and stroke you*
and we sat there and went  ??? how many people hav stroked you lately?
*hello, i fancy you (strokes)*  ;B

yeh whateva stew  :suffer: in your dreams

This morning a female colleague of mine was complaining about the fact she didn't have a personal e-mail address of a guy she was dating (and who is another employee in our company actually), so she could only send e-mails to his work-address and he was taking a day off today. This meant she couldn't arrange a date. After a few minutes of moaning, a male colleague said 'dont you have his cellular phone number?' Guess what... :P

I say a lot of stupid things all the time... thankfully, I can't remember any of them. Here's to hoping nobody else does as well :P

Truth is, I don't talk to people all that much, so I don't have many oppertunities to embarrass myself (that's the whole point of not talking to people in the firstplace), so I guess most of the stupid things I've said are right here on the forum  :o

I talk a lot to ppl, and I say a lot of stupid things, as a matter of fact, it would be quite rare for me not to do so, anywy, my friends are used to that and are referring to it as robpraat   (Robtalk) ...unfortunatly I don't master it in english yet...but I will  ;-D

lol, well.... noone really cares if I say something stupid, cuz they know who said it ; )

Right ok, last night a few really stupid things were said, we were a little tipsy coz most of us had stresses going on and we thought, well its the last time before exams that we can just let it all go...so....

I said *I'm all goggley...i mean im all giggley drunk*

Julie said* my eyes are diluted* erm julie, i think you mean dilated!

and then priya said two verbs right next to each other in the same sentence, cant remember what they were tho.

i'm sure there were more, but hey!

Where did the Kimmie thread go??????   ???

all personal threads (and some others too) are moved to Haven, also the kimmie thread (http://www.postudios.com/blog/forum/index.php?board=37;action=display;threadid=1097;start=40#lastPost)

feel free to test your sanity in Haven ; )

Thanks for letting me know.  I will have to check it out.

you're welcome ; )

A stupid thing I said yesterday: "I'm not frying the schnitzels... I'm just warming them up. In a frying pan. With oil." :P

 :suffer: storm

well a stupid girl in my class said *what? dragons arent real?* ::) i dispair...i really do...she is worse than me!!  :o

I found some that aren't on my website.  To protect the innocent (for now) I'm only posting stupid things I've said:

Me: "Pastel marshmallows?  Gay people would kill for these!"

Me: "This doesn't taste like a plain bagel."
Classmate: "They smell like onion."
Me: "That's why it tastes like onion. (pause, then, in a surprised voice) They must be onion bagels!"

Darn it, all the rest are other people.  You only got two. :P

I got two of 'em for you! ;P

One, Harrison and I were at the grocery store. I managed to cause a near avalanche of boxes while trying to pick out some granola bars, which was stupid enough. Harrison helped me out by putting some of the boxes back, but then he was standing around spending a little too much time straightening them. So after a while I started saying stuff like "C'mon, c'mon here, boy!" in a "talking to your puppy dog" sort of voice and slapping my knees and stuff.

That wouldn't have been so bad as just joking around, except that I didn't realize there were people standing nearby shopping while I was doing it, and they started giggling at us as they walked past. Oops. ;]

And the second one isn't so much stupid, as it is just kind of wrong...

"Hey, stop playing with your man-boobs!"

Trust me, don't ask. It's not as bad as you think, but still don't ask.

Peace & Luv, Liz

QuoteC'mon, c'mon here, boy!" in a "talking to your puppy dog" sort of voice

yep, i do that all the time, im an impatient person[/glow]

LOL Jeysie! :D
I can only imagine the circumstances of that "man-boobs" quote :o ;B

I also have a stupidly-embarrassing-yourself-and-the-person-next-to-you. We were walking along the beach when I spotted a piece of dead jellyfish. Due to a severe sun-stroke, I kicked it back into the sea yelling "Go! swim free!!" and then "s*** f*** hell!!" as the waves washed over my shoes. Some passerbys stared at me as if I were nuts, and started laughing hysterically once they reached safe distance :P

"I'll be in the shower if you need me!"
        - A female friend of mine.

(I wasn't there...she said it to me over MSN...unfortunately! :D)

It's like, "Okay, I'll be right there!  Need a hand drying off?" :D

 ::) james! lol

my friend Priya and i were sittin catching some rays at lunch and she had her sunglasses on, and suddenly shouted omg its mr hinde(drama teacher from the lads school that we did into the woods with last yr) and said it really loud and all excited...it wasnt him, she was really embarassed, it didnt help that i was in a heap laughing really loud bringing more attention to it!

 :o  James!  I'm shocked!  ;D

Cat

"I think I love you" lol... dont want to explain any further on this one :P

I dont know which one is worse, either say it or get it said to you, or the worst, believe it :P

"OMFG SAY WHAT A BI.TCHZ YOU ARE !! LOVE IS BEAUTIFUL AND GRAND AND STUFF !! ! "... yeah, yeah

Isn't that from a song?

I think I love you!
So what am i so afraid of?
Afraid that I'm not sure of
A love there is no cure for...

Well, I know it was in a commercial for sure a few years ago.  XD

QuoteIsn't that from a song?

I think I love you!
So what am i so afraid of?
Afraid that I'm not sure of
A love there is no cure for

yes neil...i think her name was casey?  ???

Quote"I think I love you" lol... dont want to explain any further on this one

I dont know which one is worse, either say it or get it said to you, or the worst, believe it  

"OMFG SAY WHAT A BI.TCHZ YOU ARE !! LOVE IS BEAUTIFUL AND GRAND AND STUFF !! ! "... yeah, yeah

Love can be beautiful but never to me.
i just had a similar experience as some of u may know, ok yeh i resolved it but it still cuts like a rusty knife...MEN! >:( (not all men...just the men that give us women grief at the moment lol ;P so all u men on this forum dont dare shout at me)[/glow]

If we're allowed to branch away from personal anecdotes, I came across this link the other day:

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_957945.html

Hmm.

Peace & Luv, Liz

Although I say many many stupid things, I can't think of them at the moment. Here are a couple my friends said:

My friend: (In reference to another one of my friends trying to pull her brastrap 0_o) "Ah ah ah no no bad bad." She said it rather fast too.

My brother: "R is just a horrible vowel to sing"
Me:"Vowel?"
My bro: "Shut up."

Maybe he meant the "a' from "AAAR"? :D


Yes, the words, "I think I love you..." are the worst words ever.

IF YOU HAVE TO ***THINK*** ABOUT IT, THEN YOU ARE NOT IN LOVE.  WHEN YOU ARE IN LOVE IT IS BLATANTLY F'ING OBVIOUS!!  SO DON'T F'ING SAY IT IF YOU HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT.  SAY IT ONLY WHEN YOU DAMN WELL MEAN IT.

(What salt in what wound?!?!)

Quote from: copycat on May 18, 2004, 01:35:05 PM
KQ IX is not work, that's a hobby. XD

<3 <3 <3 <3

HAHAHAHAHAH!  :suffer:

I don't exactly get it, but that's the weirdest thing I've ever heard someone say after hearing a song!  ;D

IT'S TRUE!

LOOK WHAT I WOKE UP WITH!!

:o :o :o :o :o :o

lmao!!!

after praying to god, james finally got what he wanted!  ;D oh u wont be leaving ur house now will u james

LMAO!!!

ok, and this is the weirdes thing to say after James' posts... :P

Quote
"OMG MAN BOOBS! They look a bit saggy tho...." -Alex Saunders

hahahaha, btw Neil listened to it too!! did you grow boobies too Neil!?!?!? :D

Man boobs?!  No, no, no....the technical name for it is:

MOOBS.

:D

 ;D

It's true though! Come on James, tone up!

ROFL!!  :suffer:

Something tells me James would do really well in the Costume Contest.  ;P

HAHAHAH and no I didn't grow boobs, lol!  ;-D

hahaha tone up wtf?! hahaha :D


good thing you didnt grow any Neil, :D! or should we wait till tomorrow to see? :P hahahaha

*cracks whip* JAMES get into shape! i know u said u dont run (and believe me if u did with those boobs ur eyes would be badly damaged and bruised) but i wanna see u gettin toned!

James!  That pic is just wrong! (why do I feel like I'm on the outside of an inside joke?  :-\...I guess b/c I probably am!)

Cat

HAHAHAH Alsex!  <3

Well, he already gets called Sexy Lexy... so it's only a short Freudian slip to Alsex, right? ;)

Peace & Luv, Liz

Freudian or phalangeal?  ;P

Make sure you use a condom when having Alsex. :D

 :suffer: lmao

yeh and it was his freakin msn sign in name, lol!  >:( ;P  

James...*shakes head sadly...*

Well, this wasn't a stupid thing...but it did happen to me at work last night.  

This guy works at the jewelry counter right across from my store.  He comes in, we're talking, and he asks me a question (don't remember what it was now).  I replied that I didn't know.  He says, "you work here, you should know!"  My reply to that was "I've only worked here seven months...you can't expect me to know everything!"

Well, then he looks at me really weird...and says "how long?"  I go "seven months, since last August..."...His reply:  "why didn't I notice you back then?  I thought you were pretty new..."

Yeah...GO INVISIBLE CAT!

Cat

stupid man  ::)

ur not invisible cat!  <3

Well, Kimmie...try telling that to the guys here in Tennessee!

Cat

same here with uk! maybe they are all just blind or something lol...blinded by our beauty! THATS IT! THAT MUST BE IT!  ::)

yeah, dont worry, its not you're fault its their fault.... :P

Quote from: Kimmie on May 21, 2004, 06:23:30 PM
THATS IT! THAT MUST BE IT!  ::)

But, then that means they can't see us!  *sniff*...but I guess I would prefer to blind them with beauty than to scare them off w/ ugliness!  :D

Cat

they just dont know a good thing when they see it cat! *huggle*

Obviously we just all need push-up bras. Everyone knows those are the main things men notice! (ducks and hides) J/K!

In slightly more serious matters... ;) Can we morph this temporarily into "Stupid Things You've Done"? ;) A couple stories just occured to me.

First off... one day I decided to make meself some breakfast. Made a cup of tea. Poured some cereal into a bowl. Got the gallon of milk out of the fridge.

Then one of my cats decided to get into trouble, so I had to leave the kitchen to go yell at them. I then proceeded to walk back into the kitchen... go over to the table... and pour my cup of tea into my bowl of cereal.

I then started to put the milk away, and stopped and thought, "Wait. Did I just do what I think I did?" Needless to say, I ended up getting another bowl of cereal. :P (And another cup of tea, for that matter.)

Then there was the day I had one of my best friends sleep over for the night. The next day we were busy getting ready to go out and everything. One problem: I couldn't find my glasses! I spent a goodly number of minutes searching for the things... meanwhile, I'm telling my friend "Um, could you possibly help me find my glasses?!" because she's just standing there with a bemused look on her face.

Finally she stops me running around by putting her hands on my shoulders, looks me straight in the eye, and says, "Liz... they're on your face!" So I put my hands up to my eyes, and sure enough, I had already put on my glasses, and had managed to forget. D'oh!

Peace & Luv, Liz

 :suffer: the classic mistake!

hahaha Jeysieee, I can so relate to the glasses thing, It has happened to me tooo!! ugh its horrible! :P I hate it when it happens to me :P :P

Well, a woman I work with has been trying to hook me up with her grandson (what is it with the women I work with?  I have bad luck!)  Anyway, she went to go see him this weekend (since he and his family live in the next state over)...and she calls me.  Turns out he asked her if I was mad at him since I haven't emailed him lately.  Now WHY would I email a guy that I emailed back before Easter and haven't heard anything from since then??  So that's the stupid thing..."is she mad at me...I haven't heard anything from her lately"  How about you TRY emailing me??

Cat

OMG!  Jeysie, I do that with my jackets all the time.  I put them on and then I search the entire house looking for them...*sigh*
Of course, as far as stupid things I've done, not much tops this......
Okay, I planned to wear this sweater I have to school.  The thing is, this sweater is red, so it's like the only color both of my cats cat hair will show up on.  I had to give Alex (one of my cats) his medicine that morning because mom was away, so I decided I would get dressed except for the shirt and then give him his pill...
I did all of that without a hitch.  The problem was, I forgot to put the sweater on afterwards.  I didn't realize it til I arrived at school in the shirt I'd slept in the night before...that was covered in cat hair.
Fortunately, I was wearing a jacket.  I just never took it off, and no one noticed (I hope).

I never loose my glasses... mostly because I'm blind without them and hardly ever take them off when awake and not in the shower 8)
I did have this time when I was searching high and low for my keys while holding them in my hand though :P

But unfortunately, I've done things way stupider than that... things that affect your life for longer than 5 minutes :-X

Q -
That reminds me... How to give your pet a pill (http://www.corsinet.com/braincandy/hdogcat2.html)

Storm, I love it!

Ok...this one happened to me in class today.  Don't know if it goes with stupid things...may have just been more offensive to me...but here we go:

I walk into my science class...and ask my prof. how he's doing (he's been sick also...I think he's given just about all of us whatever he has).  Anyway, I mention that I have no voice (all of this is done in a whisper)...well, he goes "many guys would LOVE to have a girl who couldn't talk!"  Now, I know he was making a joke, but still...poo!  

Onto something else that's happened in class.  First off, he has the worst either country accent or East Tennessee accent I've heard in a long time.  Of course, me and my major--it just drives me INSANE!  Some of the words he uses include: bananer, pianer, won' to (want to), flustrated...and the list goes on.  In fact, we were taking notes yesterday and he had it on power point...well it said "someone's formular"...instead of "formula"...everyone in the class just cracks up...he thinks we're laughing at his joke...but we're not!  (ok, so you had to be there, but I promise, it was funny!)

Cat

That would be a New England accent. ;D

We tend to add r's to the ends of our words if they don't have one, otherwise we leave off the r. My accent is a bit faded now that I live in Virginia but it's really noticeable with some people. ;)

Quote from: koko_99_2001 on May 22, 2004, 06:17:18 PMWell, a woman I work with has been trying to hook me up with her grandson (what is it with the women I work with?  I have bad luck!)

My mother tried to hook me up with one of her friend's daughter. I sent her 3 (personal) e-mails, she sent me... (1). My mother told me she apparently had trouble viewing some of the attachments I sent her (those are not 'personal', I do them in bcc.) So I go to her 'How should I know?', she never told me about that.

Concerning my glasses: same as Storm, there's clearly a difference in me viewing something with glasses on and without glasses one, can't miss.

Bushie: Thank goodness I apparently speak like I'm from the Midwest instead. ;P

CC & Storm: My best defense is the fact that my un-aided eyesight has always been normal enough to function without glasses (in fact, I don't wear any right now, 'cause I can't afford them :P )... it's just *ab*normal enough that corrective lenses are a help, if that makes sense. Plus, my problem is I can't see things far away, so unless I'm, well, looking at far away-ish things, I'm less likely to notice any difference in vision.

OK, that and the fact that I'm incredibly absent-minded. Blargh.

Peace & Luv, Liz

Quote from: Louisiana Night on December 08, 2004, 03:52:02 PM
Since this is the day of the month I joined...

I think I'll just get to Groupie status today. :P

The following question was asked on a tech support forum... I don't know if that guy is for real, but I thought it was really stupid, so I've taken the liberty of loosely translating it for your benefit:  :P

"Me and my brother we have a cable between my computer and his and when I download movies they end up on his computer. And then I take it to my computer now I've downloaded this movie and after I transferred it, it disappeared and I can't find it and I think he [his brother] deleted it but he says it could be that the movie isn't lost yet and it might be stuck inside the cable between the computers but I don't think that's true because the cable isn't very long and the movie is very large, and it's also a little silly. But if you think that might be it can you tell me how to take it out of the cable, is there a program that does it or is it something I have to do with the cable itself?"

:P

You have a link there Storm? I must see that in full, oh, and the replies XD

I was in a computer shop a few months ago, doing some work experience. This guy comes in the shop with his computer. He placed it on the counter and started talking to the techie. The guy said he had a message on his computer, advising him to shut it down. He says the message told him his North bridge in the computer was running at 130 degrees celcious/266 degrees celcious.

The techie said there was nothing to worry about. We all had a laugh once he left the store!

Quote from: GravityMX on December 29, 2004, 06:19:17 AM
You have a link there Storm? I must see that in full, oh, and the replies XD

Sure! ;) (http://www.cs.tau.ac.il/students/shtuyot/un_un_stupidity.jpg)
I did have a link to the original message, but it was... misplaced :S

Anyways, one reply tells him to cut the cable in half and take out the movie, another tells him to call an exorcist to de-possess the cable of the movie, and suggests he doesn't unplug the it because the movie might escape and hide under the floorboards :P

This link  (http://goop.co.il/Goop/forums/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=49095) makes me think that guy wasn't totally honest though... it's pretty much the same question, posted in a different tech support forum. It *could* be the same guy asking about the same thing after being laughed out of the other forum, but it was posted in November, and he says he hasn't turned the computers off since it happened. The original message was posted in July, and 4 months seems an awfully long time to keep your computer on ::)

Okay guys, this is going to be long  :D I'll slowly add to this as time goes by :D

True telephone conversations recorded from various ISP Help Desks!

====

Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?

Customer: A white one...

====

Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.

Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button ?

Customer: Yes, but it's really stuck.

Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note ...

Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry .

====

Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.

Customer: Your left or my left ?

====

Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you ?

Male customer: Hello... I can't print.

Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and ...

Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me ! I'm not Bill Gates damn it !

====

Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...

====

Customer: I have problems printing in red...

Helpdesk: Do you have a colour printer ?

Customer: No.

====

Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am ?

Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.

====

Helpdesk: And now hit F8.

Customer: It's not working.

Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly ?

Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing's happening.

====

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.

Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer ?

Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.

Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.

Customer: OK

Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you ?

Customer: Yes

Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard ?

Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work !

====

Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.

Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

====

A customer couldn't get on the internet.

Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password ?

Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.

Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was ?

Customer: Five stars.

====

Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use ?

Customer: Netscape.

Helpdesk: That's not an antivirus program.

Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

====

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screensaver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears !

====

Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech. Support, may I help you ?

Customer: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you. Can you please tell me how long it will take before you can help me ?

Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your problem ?

Customer: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than 4 hours ago. Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me ?

====

Helpdesk: How may I help you ?

Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.

Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem ?

Customer: Well, I have the letter a, but how do I get the circle around it ?

====

Helpdesk: What version of windows are you running?

Customer: LG Flatron

====

Customer:It put up an error message and then stopped.

Helpdesk: What did the error message say?

Customer: I don't know. Shouldn't you know?

====

Helpdesk: good morning <insert isp> this is tom speaking

hi, I'm having trouble getting onto the net, my computer cant speak to the router even though its plugged in and both are turned on.

helpdesk: have you tried restarting it?

Customer: yeah, I've done that 3 times, i think the ethernet cable is causing dropouts

Helpdesk: have you tried restarting it?

Customer: oh what if i tried unplugging my speakers, i heard they could interfere

Helpdesk: have you tried restarting it?

Customer: oh look i worked it out! all i needed to do was restart it.

Cust: thanks buddy!

====

Helpdesk: Your problem is caused by another company's product or services.

Customer: Shouldn't i tell you my problem before you determine the cause?

====

Customer: I've waited for an hour to send off an e-mail but it just wont send!

Helpdesk: Ok, does an error message appear?

Customer: Oh yes, but i'm on the phone now and I cant get it, im not on broadband you know.

Helpdesk: Ok, do you remember any portion of the error message?

Customer: No.

Helpdesk: Ok, if you are able to re-connect on and write down the entire error message for us, and give us a call back.

5 minutes later....

Customer: Ok, the error message that appears is "task completed sucessfully" - now why cant I send my email?

====

More to come ;)

No one could possibly be... :o
Haha, that was hilarious. :suffer:

I accidently brought my sister into Mini-chamber...and I couldn't even stick around. :-\
/me slaps his forehead

Those help desk things were hilarious!

That the Eagles had a chance to win the Super Bowl when it was third down and they were on their own 4 yardline with 24 seconds left and no timeouts.

Stupidest thing my dad ever said: "Thank goodness I'm moving to Virginia where it won't snow!" The very winter after we moved, there was a record blizzard. XD

"My boyfriend is such a dork...look at that hot guy!" --My friend, standing next to her boyfriend at a party.  ::)

"I know you're gonna thwack me for saying this, but is fiction made up or real?"-My friend Caitlin about 9 hours ago XD

17:30 - "I'll be back in 5 minutes mom"
00:30 - "Hi mom, I'm back"

XD

Quote from: Rosella on July 16, 2005, 05:50:20 AM
"I know you're gonna thwack me for saying this, but is fiction made up or real?"-My friend Caitlin about 9 hours ago XD

lol

I was about ready to make her ask an employee. ::)

lol

I know that i've heard something really funny somewhere, i just can´t remember where  :-\

Poetry class:

Prof: You, what is end rhyme?
Me (after one of my rare space-out moments): It was a company that was busted for insider trading after the dot.com bubble burst...
Prof: NOT ENRON, END RHYME.

Then, he proceeded to draw me personal planet and a picture of earth...

Prof (smiling good humoredly): Come back to Earth!  :P

Once on a billboard I saw an advertisement for a kitchen store and it must've been incomplete because all it said was "Kid's like to run with sharp knives."  :P

I was at work last week and a customer wanted me to sell him something to pass a drug test.

Me: I'm sorry, sir, but I can't sell you anything to pass a test.
Him: You know I could have you fired for this.
Me: Sir, it's ILLEGAL for me to sell you anything to pass a test.
Him: (pause) You know I could have you fired for this.

Wow. I knew I didn't like poppy seed bagels for a reason!

Something stupid I heard from some random person:

PERSON (viewing a photo of the leaning tower of Pisa): "Look! It's the Eiffel Tower! I never realized it wasn't in Paris..."  ::)

There was a boy called Connor who asked me for me for 5p
Connor: Nick, i desperatley need 5p to because i need 15p more to go on the bus
Nick:OK, as long as you give me 10p
Connor: Ok.
I was laughing my head off for ages  :P

Plenty more helpdesk and other computer-related stupidities to be found here:
http://rinkworks.com/stupid/

"He reminds me of Runt, but in a masculine way."

In reference to my cat. :P

Here is some more stuff that goes wrong with computer's: http://www.allowe.com/Humor/computerenhancers.htm  
Here is one embarassing one: http://www.zug.com/pranks/cellboy/

I have a friend that will say stupid comments about almost anything and then when someone says something like, "Not really because (whatever it is that proves what he said wrong)" He'll put on a 'thinking face' then say, "That's True."

It went something like...

"Hi, I'm Joe. I can sleep through a hurricane... if you'll turn that light off"(spoken by a man, very shortly after the eye of Rita passed through his area)

I didn't find it so much stupid, as funny... but we  don't have a "funny quotes" thread. ;)

classmate 1: did you get that Java applet working yesterday

classmate 2: yeah all it needed was that Java.io.* thing in the begining i have forgotin and the test class with the multiply method

me: i found a bone in my backyard yesterday


XD

HAHA! That's random.  ;D

This is a real sign:

CHEAPER then cheaper
"Smile your saving" alot of Money

Kitchen items - pots - bowls - milk

;D

"Have you ever noticed how many Christian songs have to do with, like, Christ?"

XD

XD they do? XD

US: Yay! KQIX is coming out soon!

VIVENDI: Um...too many people are excited. Let's stop this now.

:P

That's not funny, it's sad!

Sad, and stupid. :P

But what they are doing is stupid. Pissing off all the fans right before the compilation comes out.

"Snap your fingers if you think Potions is better than broccoli!" --Ways to Infuriate a Potions Master, by KaylaAyleen.

eh? XD

Me and my friend are sitting on a bus.

Friend: Old Navy! I wonder if I can join the army there?! (laughs) Get it? Old Navy? Army?

Me: ::)

the world is getting crazier by the minute XD

Quote from: Raforever on October 30, 2005, 06:04:57 PM
the world is getting crazier by the minute XD

It's your fault, you're crazy :P

EVERYONE here is crazy. ::)

Peter says I can't jump, but he can't even hit me in dodgeball from this far away! *makes hand gesture indicating small*
I think that was stupid because throwing has nothing to do with jumping.

I got HUGE sideburns.

Person in Hallway 1: You think 2+2 is 5.
Person in Hallway 2: Yeah, well you put 2+3!

In english class:
Teacher: Class what is peanut brittle?
Boy in class: A proper noun! Because-
Teacher (interrupting): NO! What type of noun is peanut brittle?
Same boy: Uh...a proper noun???

Sitting down for lunch
Someone says: Marsh bags are this big *hand motions*
Someone else: Mosh pits???
first Someone: NO MARSH BAGS!!!!

Quote from: Rosella on October 31, 2005, 04:40:27 AM
EVERYONE here is crazy. ::)

i agree.......

QuoteDon't go down the trapdoor! It leads to Michael Jackson's lair!

I'm female, it doesn't bother me.
*goes down trapdoor*

A kid in class walks up to me: "I heard you got kicked out of school because you stabbed someone with a pencil."

Me yesterday to my mom who ios asking me why I don't like reading german books.:
Me: Translations usually suck and I like reading books in the original language which is usually english.
Why that's stupid: My mom's a translator.

"I'm going to sit here and watch the Country Music Awards and you can't stop me!"

All I wanted to do was sit with my parents and shudder at the music, but they kept making me leave to get ready for bed. :P This quote came after I'd gotten completely ready and they had nothing to send me out for. XD

Shudder at the music?? I didn't see it, but I enjoy the new country music!

Meh, the newer stuff is ok...sometimes...

Old or new country, I can't stand either :P

LJ telling me that I created my account just to spam other accounts. Bah, I've had that account for over two years now!  ::)

I tell my mom that we need more soy milk and my dad's like "Pig's milk?" ::)

"So they mimic real hockey?"

- my ex, while watching a real hockey game, just not the NHL. :P

Katie and I talking tonight...

Katie: I'm going to my room to be a hermit again.
Me: Ok. I'm headed to my room too, so we can be hermits together!

XD

lol XD I said something about being hermits together today too. :P

QuoteI did NOT say snarly! I've never said snarly in my entire life!!

"Be more assertive and show more dominance!"

- I was told this shortly after being told to "be myself".

*sigh*

Ron! Park that snowman!

My teacher yelling at a student for messing around with a snoman stuffed animal.

Two girls talking in the clinic about an evaluation they have to give a client:

"What does it say about balings and cesels?"

They were trying to say basels and ceilings! XD

Ok, so you might need to be in the SLP field to find that funny...

"we're going to treat you all in display of our gratitude and affection to all of you"

The CEO of the company while he won't even give a f*** to learn our names, let alone say HELLO? or even worse pay us what they must by legal rights to each one of us, every single year getting the award for being the cheapass moron we all grown to adore to hate...

"i work for the AAAAA:the american association against acronym abuse".

I'm in the AAAA! Americans Against Acronyms Association! :P

QuoteBut I'm telling you, many many Steve's are surfers!

QuoteName one.

XD

Quote from: Say on December 07, 2005, 06:09:00 PM
"we're going to treat you all in display of our gratitude and affection to all of you"

The CEO of the company while he won't even give a f*ck to learn our names, let alone say HELLO? or even worse pay us what they must by legal rights to each one of us, every single year getting the award for being the cheapass moron we all grown to adore to hate...

I adore hating seafood...  stupid seafood!

Don't ask me how someone this stuuuuupid could even use a computer, but my brother knew someone who went gadz know how long using his computer's built in drink holder before he found out it was in fact a cd-rom. :S

HAHAHA!  ;D

And tonight we will be talking about what the 10 things that kids think are wrong with TV.

Hello! You are ON TV!!

number 1 reason why kids hate TV-the commercials.  SERIOUSLY!!! XD

In Math class:
(All names have been changed)

CAST
Mrs. Valanice- Math teachah
Alexander- My Friend
Me-Myself

*Alexander goes up to ask Mrs. Valanice about a math problem*
*Mrs. Valanice  explains it to him*
*Different student asks Mrs. Valanice  about same problem.*
Mrs. Valanice: Ask Alexander.
*Different student asks Mrs. Valanice  about same problem.*
Mrs. Valanice: Ask Alexander.
*Different student asks Mrs. Valanice  about same problem.*
Mrs. Valanice: Ask Alexander.
*Different student asks Mrs. Valanice  about same problem.*
Mrs. Valanice: Ask Alexander.
*I just ask Alexander about it cuz he's sitting next to moi*
Mrs. Valanice: Umm...Excuse me. Why are you talking?
Alexander: ---I was helping Awesomeasapossum with the math problem.
Mrs. Valanice: Awesomeasapossum, just look in your book.
*Different student asks Mrs. Valanice  about same problem.*
Mrs. Valanice: Ask Alexander.
*Different student asks Mrs. Valanice  about same problem.*
Mrs. Valanice: Ask Alexander.
*Different student asks Mrs. Valanice  about same problem.*
Mrs. Valanice: Ask Alexander.
*Different student asks Mrs. Valanice  about same problem.*
Mrs. Valanice: Ask Alexander.
*Group gathers at Alexander's desk.*
Mrs. Valanice: Umm.. Why is everyone standing up? Sit down.
Alexander: But I was helpi---
Mrs. Valanice: Sit DOWN.
*Different student asks Mrs. Valanice  about same problem.*
Mrs. Valanice: Ask Alexander.
*Different student asks Mrs. Valanice  about same problem.*
Mrs. Valanice: Ask Alexander.
*Different student asks Mrs. Valanice  about same problem.*
Mrs. Valanice: Ask Alexander.
::)

FRIEND: "Hi, C, how are you doing? Have a good weekend?"
C: "What does it mean to be possessed?"

:P

That's a pretty good one.

How about this one:
"Hey (Insert name here) I bet you can't chug that whole bottle of water!"
"Your on!!" *Chugs whole bottle of water.* *Hakk!* *Cough!* *COUGH!* *HACK!* Ugh. Aw man. Now all of my water's gone..."

*ALL NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED*

"They have chocolate milk now?"  ???
                -Milhouse- The Simpsons

Quote from: awesomeasapossum on January 21, 2006, 10:32:44 AM
That's a pretty good one.

How about this one:
"Hey (Insert name here) I bet you can't chug that whole bottle of water!"
"Your on!!" *Chugs whole bottle of water.* *Hakk!* *Cough!* *COUGH!* *HACK!* Ugh. Aw man. Now all of my water's gone..."

*ALL NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED*

Quote from: awesomeasapossum on January 17, 2006, 04:28:34 PM
In Math class:
(All names have been changed)

CAST
Mrs. Valanice- Math teachah
Alexander- My Friend
Me-Myself

*Alexander goes up to ask Mrs. Valanice about a math problem*
*Mrs. Valanice  explains it to him*
*Different student asks Mrs. Valanice  about same problem.*
Mrs. Valanice: Ask Alexander.
*Different student asks Mrs. Valanice  about same problem.*
Mrs. Valanice: Ask Alexander.
*Different student asks Mrs. Valanice  about same problem.*
Mrs. Valanice: Ask Alexander.
*Different student asks Mrs. Valanice  about same problem.*
Mrs. Valanice: Ask Alexander.
*I just ask Alexander about it cuz he's sitting next to moi*
Mrs. Valanice: Umm...Excuse me. Why are you talking?
Alexander: ---I was helping Awesomeasapossum with the math problem.
Mrs. Valanice: Awesomeasapossum, just look in your book.
*Different student asks Mrs. Valanice  about same problem.*
Mrs. Valanice: Ask Alexander.
*Different student asks Mrs. Valanice  about same problem.*
Mrs. Valanice: Ask Alexander.
*Different student asks Mrs. Valanice  about same problem.*
Mrs. Valanice: Ask Alexander.
*Different student asks Mrs. Valanice  about same problem.*
Mrs. Valanice: Ask Alexander.
*Group gathers at Alexander's desk.*
Mrs. Valanice: Umm.. Why is everyone standing up? Sit down.
Alexander: But I was helpi---
Mrs. Valanice: Sit DOWN.
*Different student asks Mrs. Valanice  about same problem.*
Mrs. Valanice: Ask Alexander.
*Different student asks Mrs. Valanice  about same problem.*
Mrs. Valanice: Ask Alexander.
*Different student asks Mrs. Valanice  about same problem.*
Mrs. Valanice: Ask Alexander.
::)

Wow. Just wow.

Today at the theatre, two non-actors got into the prop closet. They saw a pair of (real) handcuffs we are using for the current production, and handcuffed themselves together, thinking they were fake.

WELL...

We didn't have a key to open the handcuffs, and the maintenance manager wouldn't let us simply BORROW the bolt cutters. So, the police came and had to cut them apart. However, they were handcuffed together for about an hour.

AHAHAHA!  ;D Stupid!   

XD

*in an awed voice*

"If you have a calculator without a case, and a case without a calculator, you can put them together!! :o"

That's good!  ;D

I learn so many things in Geometry. :P

"Does this printer print only .pdf files?"
[Heard at the computer lab] ::)

"I'm a little more more more than more useless"

Translators are funny. :P

Human translators or computer ones?

I'm going to guess computer ones :P I've gotten some weird translations! XD

One of my Spam mail subjects today: Nike my grandniece

Nike means victory! :D

QuoteKelsey: You spelled "intelligence" incorectly. :P
Jafar: You spelled "incorrectly" incorrectly :P

Quote from: Rosella on February 13, 2006, 05:02:26 PM
Nike means victory! :D

QuoteKelsey: You spelled "intelligence" incorectly. :P
Jafar: You spelled "incorrectly" incorrectly :P

But it also means a shoe brand.

Oh yeah, it does. Meh, I don't like Nike, their shoes never fit my feet, and their slogan has nothing to do with their name. :P

Quote from: Storm on February 01, 2006, 11:51:05 AM
"Does this printer print only .pdf files?"
[Heard at the computer lab] ::)

HAHAHAHA oh my....  :P

Quote from: koko_99_2001 on February 11, 2006, 06:34:26 PM

Quote from: awesomeasapossum on February 11, 2006, 06:31:44 PM
Human translators or computer ones?

I'm going to guess computer ones :P I've gotten some weird translations! XD

Ahh, but only a human is brilliant enough to translate "spastic colon" as "convulsions-inducing perfume" (yes, that really happened. On TV, no less) ;)

Uh, huh.  ;)  :suffer:

dude: i dare you to slap me again
girl: *smack!*


::)

QuoteFriend:  What does "canon" mean?

Moody:  Hmm, it's hard to define.  Basically, it's the official storyline or universe of something.  For example, if I wrote a story about Mega Man fighting a bunch of, um, mutant salt shakers, I couldn't call that canon because it wasn't written by Capcom.

Friend:  I still don't quite understand.

What's not to understand?  My explanation was brilliant!  :P

"Hey! I dare you to spray me in the face with that fire extinguisher!"

::)

"i still think that you should have given the psycho this metal bat."

"2 plus 2 is...no..wait...hold on"

That's what geometry does to you. :P

"You're entitled to your opinion, but I still don't give a s*** what you think."

-- Some guy in our high school creative writing class

"You have to be ON a tangent to get OFF a tangent!"

*geometry class* *Imagnie a diagonal line called "P" on the chalkboard with ABC in a triangle and the teacher's trying to explain how to mirror the triangle*

Teacher: "So there are a few ways to do this, this is the easiest;: you take your piece of paaper and fold it along "S""
Person in class: "Along "P"!!
Teacher "Of course I can't do it  now because I'm doing it on the blackboard." So then after you've folded it along "S"...
Person in class: "Along "P"!!
Teacher: "Oh, yeah. That is a "P" isn't it...Let's change it to "S".
So write this down: Fold the peice of paper along "P"..."

Me:  ::)  *exasperated*

lol, were you the "Person in class"? ;P

Yes. :P And I don't think the teacher took kindly to the interuption...:P

"I love you so much, it's kind of creepy."

- Me to one of my ex's in a drunken e-mail XD

nicole yells in the hallway "IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS WHO I MAKE OUT WITH!!"

You know, she really doesn't like it when people bring that up. ;P

Yeah Pacman! Just have her stay anonymous! Change the name to Francessca or something KRAZY! Or you could change it to Valanice.

Asst. Principal on announcements: Blah blah blah don't slack off now. And an announcement to all 8th grade SIGNET students: There will be NO SIGNET this Thursday! Um, correction, there WILL be SIGNET tomorrow.

Everyone: ::)

Annoucement: So track meeting blah blah blah. Remember, there will be NO 8th grade SIGNET tomorrow.

In case you were wondering, there really is SIGNET today. :P

On a Kingdom Hearts 2 review:

QuotePros,
Lots of action
Music is good
Plot line is wondeful
Cloud is hot.

Brilliant, I tell you. :P

In World History, while learning about Buddha:

QuoteDude: "Dang! Buddha is fat!"
Teacher: "Actually, at one point during his meditations, they said Buddha was so skinny, you could poke him in the stomach and feel his backbone."
Other dude: "If he was meditating, why were people poking him in the stomach?"

XD

Quote from: Rosella on March 31, 2006, 02:44:35 PM
On a Kingdom Hearts 2 review:

QuotePros,
Lots of action
Music is good
Plot line is wondeful
Cloud is hot.

i agree with the KH2 review.  except for the last statement.

QuoteDude: "Dang! Buddha is fat!"
Teacher: "Actually, at one point during his meditations, they said Buddha was so skinny, you could poke him in the stomach and feel his backbone."
Other dude: "If he was meditating, why were people poking him in the stomach?"

i remember that!! she never did give us an answer.XD

Texas is surreal. :P

Me: *walks down the road*
Old guy on a bike: Whats wrong? Out of gas? HAHAHA!
Me: *smiles, nods, and hurrys away from him*

And another time...

Me: *walks down the road, and sees a bicycle  lying in the ditch* Huh?

Shaggy-looking Ragamuffin on a bike: It's been down there for 3 days. Take it if you want, I bet it still works!
Me: (Is that where you got your bike? )

And this one is Twilight-Zone material. XD

Me: *walks to the library*
Surfer Dude on a bike: Yo! Wazzup, man? *holds out hand for a high-five*
Me: Uh... *high-fives him as he rides past*
Dude: Haha! You is cool, fool. *continues to ramble about how cool I am as he leaves*

Oddly enough, all of these incidents involved bicycles...I wonder if there's a connection. :P

Yeah surfers are usually high or have had so much that they've killed all their brain cells, so not surprising. XD

Some odd experiences there though. XD

"I thought you were supposed to pay the rental price *after* bringing the movie back..."  ::)

"There's Office 2000?" (our software buyer) :P

"I organized all the files in my Windows folder by type and put them in separate folders but my computer stopped working. Can you please fix it?"

Quote from: Oldbushie on April 26, 2006, 07:59:56 AM
"I organized all the files in my Windows folder by type and put them in separate folders but my computer stopped working. Can you please fix it?"

XD

Did the person try re-booting? :P

I doubt that would have helped... XD

It's not the CHIPS that matter!!!!!!! It's the SALSA!!!!

A friend hears something (incorrectly) about Mexican chefs at a restaurants.

My mom and I were making whipped cream and I insisted on making it by hand. She chilled the bowl and stuff in the freezer, so when we got it out, it was cold. :P  We poured the cream in, and when I started to stir some of the stuff that got in thin layers on the sides started to freeze.
"Mom, it's like freezing and turning into, like, solid cream, whatever that is."
"Um, ice cream?"
"...That was my blonde moment of the day."

:P

When I was a lad living in England, I always wanted to be a technological terror... :P

Did you say or hear that one? ;P

I said that one. My sister stole the phrase, but she always forgets to say a lass living in England. :P

"Oh, I thought you just had to put the angle over the length"

Ok, you have to know trig to get this, but it's not called the law of SINES for nothing. ::)

Some dude on an ad: "There are two words most dangerous to driving, multi-tasking"

I'm sorry dude, but despite the hyphen, "multi-tasking" is one word. ::)

Quote from: Rosella on May 29, 2006, 10:51:40 AM
Some dude on an ad: "There are two words most dangerous to driving, multi-tasking"

I'm sorry dude, but despite the hyphen, "multi-tasking" is one word. ::)

I think the two words should be Cellular Phone.  :P

(Hearing one side of the conversation)
"Yeah, my brother went to a Medieval Times in Toronto....Yeah, in Toronto....It's in Canada..."

(Caitlin hearing one side of another conversation)
"I'm just going to hang out....no, I don't go to King's Dominion...I can't drive...What?...No...I'm not her sister! Caitlin, just take the phone back."

Watch this to get these. (http://harrington.mountlaurel.k12.nj.us/PerformingArts/Shows/talent05/talvid/Comedy.html)

He clips out so many coupons you could probably call him K-Mark.

Okay..cuz she moved it.

...I refused to...

You know you've been playing too many Sims when they talk to you in your sleep.

Something I heard in a museum the other day: "So which year isn't a year of our lord?" :P

A.: "This pasta is not very well cooked"
Me: "It's El Dente"
A.: "What's 'El Dente'"?
Me: "It's "not very well cooked"" :P

Kelsey: *picks up a package of Remi cookies* "These are the BEST cookies in the world!
Cat: "Better than Tim Tams?"
Kelsey: *pauses for a second* "These are the second best cookies in the world!"

XD

I have this friend at Tech who spouts these things we've dubbed Steph-isms.

"The AC was on in the Stinger and the bar was cold... so I had to hold the other bar."

"Wait for it, wait for it..."

"And I was like, "Zoom!""

"On a scale from bike-rider to ninja...."(she really does rate things on a scale from bike-rider to ninja)

"I bought a bike last week. on the scale from bikerider to ninja, i AM bikerider"

steph's friend: "you wanna go to the gym?"
....pause
steph: "I have shoes!" (She had these really old ratty holely shoes and had just gotten new shoes.)

"Oh no! I lost my awesome!" ~Steph having dropped something

Steph: boreded
me: yah
Steph: I have an orange mmmmmmmmmm

"... And Matlab goes BLAAHGGHHG"

LOL Steph sounds cool!  You should ask her to register here! XD

She and the other member of team PHYS (I can't remember which one of us came up with that, but it was probably Steph) know nothing of KQ, but I'm going to try to get them to play some KQ and SQ this semester: so *crosses fingers* maybe...

They don't need KQ, just tell them to play the demo. XD

I thought of that, but I think they'll appreciate it more if they play some of the originals first.

But, we're getting off topic. On topic:

Steph: so for our phys class it says PURCELL, ELECTRICITY+MAGNETISM,V.2

me: mm mm electrons

mm mm mm mm mm....toasty.

Steph: Yeah, she's a much better procrastinator than me... I need to work on that... eh I'll do it later.

That is a GOOD one.  ;D

I agree. XD

whats scarier than that..that..thing?!?!?!?
um, a big person that can punch really hard?
pie?

"I'm sorry, Kelsey, but your cat is a clipboard."

"Aw! Look at your little clipboard! He's such a happy little clipboard!"

Just don't ask. XD

*asks* :P

Well, Caitlin was being a therapist, and therapists need clipboards... :P

Quote from: Rosella on July 28, 2006, 10:46:53 AM
It DOES never snow there. :P

There is no snow! Snow does not EXIST! It's a figment of our imaginations! :P

Steph on the matter of people from Savannah, Georgia, seeing snow: OMG aliens are invading! and they're REALLY TINY

Quote from: Rosella on August 28, 2006, 10:47:11 AM
"I'm sorry, Kelsey, but your cat is a clipboard."

"Aw! Look at your little clipboard! He's such a happy little clipboard!"

Just don't ask. XD

Awwww *pets the paper*

XD

CS Prof: Who has the laptop with the red lights on it?
some guy: Me
CS Prof: That is so cool: it's like having Darth Vader in my class.

and more stephisms b/c I feel like it:

"I = college student. College student = poor. So by the transitive property, I = poor." ~Steph da roomie

"Football is a game of highs and lows. It's like being bipolar for 6 hours." ~Steph again

(I love this one b/c I just recently re-figured out what she meant)
"I pray to The Bull in the Sky, and he delivers for me." ~Steph on writing papers for English

"Quit being so loud and cheerful! Do you have any idea what time it is?" ~Steph at 7:30am

"I'm not fat, I'm prepared [for the Great Famine of the US]" ~Steph

"You're only allowed to be obsessed with 3 things: food, air, and being at an adequate temperature." ~Steph

"Whoa, 7 hours of sleep? That's like a coma!" ~Steph

guy at my church: (walks into a/v room) hey, its the a/v geeks!
lady: were not geeks!!  were nerds. :P

Nah, I'm pretty sure in the A/V room, you're geeks. :P

I was playing KQ1 the other day... and I had the goat... and well... I don't wanna spoil it...

[spoiler]
Watch out!!! There is an ogre nearby He will crush you in his strong arms if he catches you.

Lucky for you that ogres are afraid of goats. This one decides to leave you alone.


Look out for that wolf -- he can run very fast. Don't let him catch you!

The wolf sees the menacing goat by your side and decides to keep his distance.


There is a witch in the area, but since you have that menacing goat with you, she will keep her distance.


Be careful! Nearby is a sorcerer. His mystical powers can leave you immobilized and helpless!

The sorcerer sees the goat and decides to leave.


There is a small dwarf close by. It would be a good idea to be careful.

The dwarf sees the goat and decides to leave.


High up in the sky you see a very large, friendly bird, but it is afraid to come near you because of the goat.
[/spoiler]

LOL! XD Fear AAAP! :P

Quote from: Pacman928 on August 31, 2006, 03:04:58 PM
guy at my church: (walks into a/v room) hey, its the a/v geeks!
lady: were not geeks!!  were nerds. :P

absolutely positively A/V geeks...

XD I love the KQ GOAT!

*is happy to spread the joys of KQ1*

[spoiler] in the second or third scene of climbing the beanstalk when you fall off: You should be more careful when you are so high on the herb.[/spoiler]

EDIT:
Steph (about another MATH major): Yeah, but she's not taking AVS (abstract vector spaces)... she's not hardcore like me... she's not taking death
Me: death...would that be DETH?
Steph: yeah!
then today after telling Sam about the above conversation
Steph: yeah so we decided I'm taking DETH but we don't know what it stands for...
Sam: Demonic
Me: Evil... Tech
Steph: Honors

Steph about having a review of special relativity: "Yeah, but now I understand it again!"

Misheard lyrics from the bus:

"When all you gotta keep is strong, mow the lawn, mow the lawn, like I know you do."

"She's a sexy cow."

Bonus points if you can find out the actual songs. :P

 "The popcorn seeds are sprouting."

  One of my brothers. He was right too, they got a little damp.  :P These sorts of things seem to happen to us.  ;D

Err okay, this is what I heard when I was at an airport once as well as when I briefly worked at a local shop many moons ago:

Airport: "I didn't like Rome, it was full of ruins..."

Shop: (Lady pushes bag of opened hot-cross buns in my direction) "These hot-cross buns are not hot..."

These are not fake, these are actual quotes!  :)

A friend of mine (not Steph):"I don't know what's going on in the world: I don't have a TV."


EDIT:
This deserved posting and I was already here looking for a particular PM...


My roommate: "uhn s gd hwi dn hv iziks ohmwrk is wk"
Me: "Once more without the ice in your mouth."
roomie: "I'm so glad we don't have physics homework this week. ... and you would make a horrible dentist."
Me: "Thank you, that's the best compliment I think I've ever been paid."

Don't ask. XD

Quotelouisiana_night: Who are you?
Kelsey: ed

Maybe Spot wants a name change. :P

" Her hair was Bobby-trapped!" 

Brother 1 to Brother 2 after Brother 2 tried to pull my sisters hair and stuck himself on a bobby-pin.  :P Somehow no-one had much sympathy for him.  :P

"Necessity is the mother of invention."
No, laziness is the mother of invention. They meant "Necessity is the mother of inventions to further laziness." They were just too lazy to finish it.

my roommate: "Your mother is cheating on your father... while this may be true... it may also not be true..."
me: "I think you covered all your bases there"

 "Then my cows put guns on their horns, and start to take over the universe. "

One of the various interesting twists on the debate over the merits of horses and cows  ::)

"I keep a periodic table in my pocket for just such an emergency as this!"

~a guy from SPS... they then proceeded to take out the periodic table to   look up carbon and lead... how that was supposed to settle the debate of what's in pencils...*shrugs*

Graphite is a form of carbon where the atoms form sheets! That's why graphite is a good lubricant for Pinewood Derby-type cars. XD

Er...Stupid things, not chemistry nerds thread. Sorry about that. XD

"Your pineapple ate my dog!"
-Me, so this post is still on topic. ^^

As this is a Futurama quote, I'm not sure it should be here... meh...


"Let's conservate!"

my siss friend-

"OMG!! its pippi longstocking!!"
"no, thats the ketchup man"

it was very...........odd

Me to friend: YES! 26 days till the Wii comes out!
Friend: 26 wiiks?
Me: No...26 days!
Friend: So how many wiiks is it?

in java class-

try{
{long numMilliToSleep=100;
}catch(InteruptedException e);
}

me-"hey!! thats the catch phrase!!

On a sheet of guidelines on how to write a good essay:
"Avoid sophomoric efforts at humor."

Kid: What's sophomoric?
Teacher: *gives definition including the words "immature" and "stupid"*
Kid:...So shouldn't that be freshmanic?

And yes, "Kid" is a freshman. :P

ROFL

not really.  sophomores are immature in thinking that freshmen are immature. :P

But freshmen ARE immature... :P

MOST freshman are immature.  not all :P

"The numbers eleven and twelve are not 'teens.'"
"Yes, they are. Why should they be left out?"
"Because they aren't teens. Look at it this way: they're the only numbers greater than ten and less than twenty that aren't teens."
"Yeah, but that sounds like a lame club they made up to feel better about themselves... the numbers ten through eleven are teens"
"Oh really... leaving out 12 now are you?"
"The numbers 10 through 11 plus 9... that's 20... are teens..."

XD

Nah, 13 is the first teen. :P

(We're sitting outside on a patio and the wind picks up so a LOT of leaves start falling on us)

Gah! We're being ambushed!...Am-treed!

person in my building on campus:"I don't want Sweet'n'Low: I want Sweet'n'High."

in science class when this kenny got an f:
ben: when life gives you s***, make s***-ade

Quote from: Pacman928 on November 27, 2006, 03:58:59 PM
in science class when this kenny got an f:
ben: when life gives you s***, make s***-ade

That sounds like a pretty immature thing to say....was he a freshmen? XD :P

a friend of mine: I go from Serenity to Looney Tunes.

"BILLY!!!"

I was washing a table and some guy walked up and saw that there were white bubbles on it and he said, "It looks like Christmas!"

"Pascal Couchpin is a genius and highly intelligent, but he has no concept!"
"Sheesh, that's some compliment! :P"

Something I heard in the course of the day. ::)

*during PHYS hwk last week*

Me: Tu ne me comprends pas! Tu ne comprends rien que j'ai dit!
Sam: Je comprends bien. I understand perfectly... *long silence* *some laughter and Sam rolls back on the table and says...* ... Je suis belge *mumble mumble*
Me'n'Steph: What?
Steph: I thought he was saying he was belgian...
Me: yeah... I was wondering: what sam's belgian? when did this happen!!?
(yes... French crops into our PHYS hwk sessions...)

XD French used to pop into a lot of my homework too... XP

Quote from: Rosella on December 01, 2006, 10:15:06 PM
"BILLY!!!"

that was one of the wirdest things at our school.....ever.

That was also an incredibly hilarious day... XD

"...I'm like Squall.  My nose grows."

XD!!! *nose impales snowoman and runs away* :P

*snowman turns to face camera*  ground-"i win!!" *snowman jumps up and down*

*heard on the way back from CS recitation*

"Man, this wind blows!"

"ffvii had the big sword, ffviii had the gun sword, and ffx had the water sword.  there was no ffix!!"
*looks to kenny*
"dude, there was no ffix!!"
"yes there was.  the one guy had a tail."
"was it a SWORD tail?"
"erm, no.  it was just a regular tail."

I remember at the height of LOTR popularity hearing people who actually thought that the book was based on the movie scripts and not vice versa. Probably the worst example was someone saying how they saw the "novelization" of Return of the King in bookstores months before the movie came out and how it meant that Peter Jackson wasn't doing a very good job at keeping his plot a secret.

LOL Yes that IS Stupid!!! :!Oops:

DOH!

Wow...
That's terrible. XP

"warning: object may be hot after microwaved"

My sister's friend looking at a Wachovia sign:

"What's Wack-ovia?"

:P

in another forum-

poll title-whats your favorite weapon in game?
question- whats your favorite map?
options-
-bus(a vechicle that picks up kids for school)
-and four weapons
his post-
so...what kind of games do you like to play?

"But I thought the movie was inside!" *customer points to piece of cardboard with movie graphics*

Me: "Ummmm... no."

"Woah. You've got a jean jacket AND jeans on...You're like...bulletproof"

::) Welcome to advanced classes. :P

"turn that frown upside down!!" *stands on head*

"so, youre saying that my little brother could beat up a chicken?"

Heard outside of a theatre wherein I had just watched 300:

"I was really hoping that he'd kill Xerxes in the end, but I guess that wouldn't have worked because they wanted to set up the sequel at the end."  :o :X

Seriously... ...Come on. ::) History! People!

http://www.1up.com/do/blogEntry?bId=7943524&publicUserId=5790630 (http://www.1up.com/do/blogEntry?bId=7943524&publicUserId=5790630)

Why wasn't "I am Error" up there? XD

"...I hope you never do drugs"

--My teacher, after seeing my portfolio project for iT. XD

Quote from: Rosella on March 16, 2007, 04:47:06 AM
"...I hope you never do drugs"

--My teacher, after seeing my portfolio project for iT. XD

Your work is good and she doesn't want you to throw it all away, or you're abstract enough as it is?

shes so insane that if she was on drugs it would be crazy :P

But would she be crazy enough to name her child "Moon Unit"?

well, if my kid is a boy, ill name him gaspard.  if she's a girl, then alexa

"wait, why are you using MY toothbrush?"

"The students in my last class thought "Hood Island" was very amusing for some reason. They asked me if the turtles there were gangster."

XD

We were in Paint Your Pot, and these two guys had picked out two ducks and were painting them. One of them answered his cellphone and told whoever was on the other end:
"I'm painting a duck"

A few seconds later:

"No, not a real duck!"

were the best AV team ever!!
                only

Tess...hilarious! XD

I was talking to my friend on i.m.....

Note: Chocolateaddict5=me

ChocolateAddict5: how was drivers ed?
holyanmolly: pretty horrible
holyanmolly: apparently i asked a stupid question
holyanmolly: i raised my hand
holyanmolly: and was like
holyanmollly: "where are ur headlights?"
holyanmolly: caz i dont know where they are
holyanmolly: and eveyrone was like =-op
ChocolateAddict5: uhh
holyanmolly: but i honestly didnt know
ChocolateAddict5: didnt you know what they were used for?
holyanmolly: idk ms. cheek makes no sense
holyanmolly: what are they used for??

what is this world coming to? :P

Oh.....my...... :o

Have I met this person before? :P

Quote from: koko_99_2001 on April 02, 2007, 07:40:36 AM
Tess...hilarious! XD

second...

and... holyanmolly makes me feel like I need to lie down... ...

Anmol: is a penguin a type of duck?
Me: um no, it is a type of bird though.
Anmol: so does that make a duck a type of bird?
Me: yes...did you not know that?
Anmol: no.

later...

Anmol: today in biology, i was like "plants dont move!?!?!" and everyone stared at me funny. so i guess they dont.

This is the headlight girl, right? She doesn't seem too bright... :P
Have I met her? (I know I've asked this before but ... yeah...)

Quote from: restamper on May 02, 2007, 03:22:16 PM
Anmol: is a penguin a type of duck?
Me: um no, it is a type of bird though.
Anmol: so does that make a duck a type of bird?
Me: yes...did you not know that?
Anmol: no.

later...

Anmol: today in biology, i was like "plants dont move!?!?!" and everyone stared at me funny. so i guess they dont.

*must resist urge to lie down*
Ya know... I actually did after the last one... this one doesn't seem as bad... I think I'm good...

Oh my god. What is wrong with teenagers these days. I wasn't one that long ago, but the ones now seem SOOOOO much dumber. I know they aren't ALL dumb, but the dumbness seems to be enhanced. Must be too much cell phone radiation :P

Quote from: tessspoon on May 02, 2007, 03:27:02 PM
Have I met her? (I know I've asked this before but ... yeah...)

lol, when I posted I remembered asking it but didn't realize I had asked it before in the very same thread. ::)

Quote from: Delling on May 02, 2007, 05:03:31 PM
*must resist urge to lie down*
Ya knw... I actually did after the last one... this one doesn't seem as bad... I think I'm good...

Yea, at least you don't usually see penguins everyday like you do cars and their headlights...

Quote from: PirateKingChris on May 02, 2007, 05:51:39 PM
Oh my god. What is wrong with teenagers these days. I wasn't one that long ago, but the ones now seem SOOOOO much dumber. I know they aren't ALL dumb, but the dumbness seems to be enhanced. Must be too much cell phone radiation :P

I've actually been surprised with the intelligence of a lot of kids in my class.

Though, then again, they're still all freshmen. I'm convinced your IQ goes down as you get older. :P

Quote from: Rosella on May 02, 2007, 08:29:18 PM


I've actually been surprised with the intelligence of a lot of kids in my class.

Though, then again, they're still all freshmen. I'm convinced your IQ goes down as you get older. :P

Uhhh, excuse me? *points to her 4.0 GPA from undergrad, her 3.81 from graduate school...and the fact that she knows to wash a spatula after cooking eggs rather than letting the egg dry on the spatula and throw it in the dishwasher to "clean" it*

Yes, that has happened...my roomie NEVER washes the spatulas and for two years, I've had to scrub off egg AFTER it's been through the dishwasher before I feel comfortable using the "clean" spatula XD

Quote from: PirateKingChris on May 02, 2007, 05:51:39 PM
Must be too much cell phone radiation :P

Alcohol and drugs...

I know of young teens who have done no drugs and drank no alcohol that have the IQ of a fly :P

That's from getting hit in the head too often. I know from experience. :P

"Why can't you have a normal adolescent complex like Bulimia?"-My mother. ::)

Quote from: Deloria on July 12, 2007, 04:21:19 AM
"Why can't you have a normal adolescent complex like Bulimia?"-My mother. ::)

You have got to be kidding!! That had better have been said in jest because otherwise that was really cruel. >:(

It was in jest, but I still think it belongs in this thread. :P

XD lol... That's hilarious.

So, it's not stupid, but I thought it was funny :P

Quote
Merlin says:
So I hear you're going to a christmas party tonight 
Cat says:
mmhmm 
Cat says:
all the Nashville company speech therapists will be there 
Merlin says:
lol 
Merlin says:
cool XD
Merlin says:
Not a place for a guy with a lisp to show up uninvited 
Cat says:
lol
Cat says:
or his lisp will likely be fixed that night 

Heh...Cute :P

XD I find that especially amusing, because my mom's a speech therapist.

Although the Nashville company speech therapists probably wouldn't solve anyone's speech problems at a party, they're bound to talk about it to each other:

"Did you notice that Mr. Such-and-such has a lisp?"
"Oh, what kind? A [some kind of] lisp or a [some other kind of] lisp?"
"The latter. But from the sound of it he has it mostly under control. He must have had lots of therapy..."

My mom does this ALL THE TIME after she sees someone with speech impediments.

Thanks for putting that up, Cat; it made my day! :)

lol, obviously I'm a speechy too! Awesome that your mom is one!

And it would be "Oh, what kind? A lateral lisp or a frontal lisp?"

And you're right, it would be the latter one, because it's so much easier to get under control! XD

XD

I heard this walking through Target the other day.

Three women (in their 20-ishes) were walking past me into greeting cards.

Woman (to another woman): "It's just so weird, ya know? I mean Your pregnant and I'm not and we're both the same age!"

I was walking through Sears when a lady picked up a hair trimming set and asked an older couple, whom she apparently didn't know, whether a guy could shave with it?  :o

Okay, so I was talking to a tech-support person at HP because I've been having weird battery problems with my laptop. This is what he said as the conversation was coming to a close.

Philip: Thank you.
Me: Thank you too.
Philip: It would have been a pleasure to work alongside you.

Funny!

(http://i91.photobucket.com/albums/k283/mwitte/Speechtherapycomic.jpg)

XD Great comic koko!

Quote from: awesomeasapossum on December 27, 2007, 03:40:25 PM
Philip: Thank you.
Me: Thank you too.
Philip: It would have been a pleasure to work alongside you.

LOL! That is rather random, or did you know more than him?

My friend's brother is used to using whatever shampoo my friend has in her shower when he comes home from college. One day he came out and said "Megan, what kind of shampoo is this!? It doesn't work and just made my hair all greasy!" He'd tried to use a bottle of hair straightener gel as shampoo. XD

Quote from: racx_00 on December 27, 2007, 09:31:14 PM

Quote from: awesomeasapossum on December 27, 2007, 03:40:25 PM
Philip: Thank you.
Me: Thank you too.
Philip: It would have been a pleasure to work alongside you.

LOL! That is rather random, or did you know more than him?

XD No, not at all. I think he meant to say, It's been a pleasure working with you or something.

This one is only funny when you bear in mind the location.

I had to go to the doctor and I was sat in the waiting room waiting for my number to be called.  A man came in and saw a woman who he obviously knew as a friend.

He came up to her and said "You're looking well."

I had to control my laughter at that point.

From the comments section on Mixnmojo.com, about Indy movies:(the first part being the dumb part, the second part being one of the funniest things I've read, I was literally laughing till tears came out my eyes)

elTee:
The problem with Temple of Doom had always been those children for me. It just felt lame, like I was watching Chitty Chitty Bang Bang or something. Anyway I tried to watch it again recently, and got to exactly 8 minutes into the film before I turned it off and watched something else instead. The opening, quite frankly, sucks. Then yesterday I skipped past all the crap and watched the mine cart chase, and shortly after that discovered that I didn't hate Willie Scott after all. I mean damn, she's braless for the whole second half of the film pretty much, and they are fine-looking baps. So in the end, I enjoyed myself.

The Tingler:
That infamous version of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang where the kids are enslaved, whipped and burned! :P

Stupid things I've said.. pretty much every single thing tonight XD.. I blame total lack of sleep though, but even that's no excuse. :P

Was having lunch with a suitemate and one of her friends when the friend told her he "sees through her like translucent water"

Though I found the fact that she thought it was absolutely hilarious even funnier than what he said XD

"We three make a good duo." :wall: :wall: :wall:

*stabs the phrase and whom said it*

lol... trio, the word being sought is trio... (I think I lol'd because of the trio of :wall:'s :P)

Indeed. *sighs* :P

Stupid thing I have heard: "It's impossible"...

Nothing within the realm of physical plausibility is impossible unless you make it so with your skepticism. :)

I was talking to a friend one day a while back and I don't know how we got onto the topic of Australia but my friend randomly told me this...

'Did you know that traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas.'

I love the line that Paul said to another guy when he was mad on the show 'The Mole' : "Your whole life is a hypocrite!"

You'd probably have an easier time insulting someone if you at least spoke in sentences that made sense XD

Everything Gary Busey just said in an interview with Howard Stern was pretty stupid XD

I was at Gamestop and here's 2 things I heard that made me want to kill the kids who asked them:

"Do they make Nintendo Brothers for the PS2?"

(two kids talkng)
"What's a Metroid?"
"Oh, it's something from Super Nintendo Smash Brawl."
"Then why does it have it's own game?"
"They just ran out of ideas for games."

Funny interchange b/w two people in the comments of a KQ5 playthrough on Youtube:

Righton2000
Walking around in that desert, and he still doesn't take off his Robin Hood hat or those dorky blue tights.
HBourgoin
They're pants.
Righton2000
How do you know?
HBourgoin
Because I just know. And they look more like pants than tights.
Righton2000
What do you mean you "just know?" Have you talked to Graham? They're freakin' tights man!
HBourgoin
Well, how do YOU know their tights, hmm?
Righton2000
Check out some of the close-up shots! Their freakin' tights, man!
HBourgoin
They look like pants to me.
Righton2000
FINE! To each his own, I guess. They still look like tights, though.
HBourgoin
In the close-up of Graham and the elf, you can see that Graham's PANTS are somewhat loose-fitting, so the can't be tights because tights are close-fitting.
Righton2000
Where the hell did you see that?!
HBourgoin
In the next part.
Righton2000
So freakin' what? Spandex can crinkle like that! His tights just need ironing!
HBourgoin
Whatever. They're not tights.
Righton2000
For the love of God, whoever you are! We just spent the last 2 to 3 days arguing over the garments of a fictional character in a computer game nearly 10 years old!
HBourgoin
So? You were doing it, too.
Righton2000
I just called him a dork in tights! You dragged this on for no reason cause you thought they were pants!!
HBourgoin
1. Graham's not a dork. 2. They're pants. Think what you think, but I really think they're pants.
Righton2000
This conversation can serve either of us no more purpose. Good day to you!

That conversation Pacman heard about Metroid...so ignorant! Silly kids!

And that one is HILARIOUS, Tessy. And they're PANTS!

Quote from: PirateKingChris on August 21, 2008, 08:42:31 PM
And that one is HILARIOUS, Tessy.

I quite thought so XD

And even Peter Spear says they're pants: "... his usual attire, the short tunic, pants, and high boots of a Ranger" :P

My friend: Kelsey...
Kelsey: ?
My friend: My boyfriend forgot my name.. XP
Kelsey: Er...
My friend: He's been calling me hun, sweetie, honey, baby, baby girl, etc. for so long that he forgot. XP
Kelsey: That's really not good
My friend: I know XP
My friend: But for some reason I'm not really mad XP

How very sad!

From a Bowflex commercial:

Quote"I gave all my fat clothes to my fat friends."

Really!? Do you really want to say that when you're being interviewed for a commercial? Your friends (especially those to whom you gave clothes) are just gonna love you after that. ::)

While explaining to someone that I didn't have to shave my head if I wouldn't want my dreads anymore, because the first time I managed to get them out with some combs:
'Didn't you have knots in your hair?'

Like, dude, what do you think dreads are :/

How about something stupid that was seen? I was driving to work today, in the drizzling rain...when I saw a motorcycle next to me. To my surprise...the passenger...was smoking a cigarette. How it was still lit, in the rain...I have absolutely no idea!

 XB
People addicted to cigarettes need them in ANY situation, don't they?

Over the weekend at work, there was a woman that came in and she was just trying to get something for nothing (she had already eaten her food and everything) and she looks at her waitress and says "Ma'am, can you take this coffee off of my ticket? It tastes like it has caffeine in it."

"Does this mean I can change my Facebook relationship status to "It's Complicated!?" :D" XP

Quote from: Rosella on September 15, 2008, 08:18:39 PM
"Does this mean I can change my Facebook relationship status to "It's Complicated!?" :D" XP

LOL That's funny! XD

"You know, I do notice it that everyone begins to stare at the clock as soon as I start speaking."-My Latin teacher. :P

Quote from: Carla on September 15, 2008, 06:36:50 PM
Over the weekend at work, there was a woman that came in and she was just trying to get something for nothing (she had already eaten her food and everything) and she looks at her waitress and says "Ma'am, can you take this coffee off of my ticket? It tastes like it has caffeine in it."

LOL... XD

XD @ both... though more at the Latin teacher :P

Seen on a T-shirt: "Saving second base: let's strike out breast cancer." ::)

Which wouldn't happen if he would actually be doing useful (like explaining the PPP) instead of lecturing us on why females shouldn't be at gymnasium ::) (what would internationally be recognised as high school for all the non-Europeans here).

PPP? To me that means Purchasing Power Parity, which is one of the ways to measure GDP, thought I doubt a Latin teacher would be talking about that. :P

Proper Past Participle? :P

Perfect passive participle. :P

(Posted on: 19 September 2008, 16:43:01)

---

Quote from: Petra Rocks on September 18, 2008, 07:46:28 PM
PPP? To me that means Purchasing Power Parity, which is one of the ways to measure GDP, thought I doubt a Latin teacher would be talking about that. :P

Unfortunately, he would. :P

My sister (18) browsing through H&M catalogue:
'I want to be pregnant! The clothes are so pretty :D'

A few hours after she said (about a glass)
'It's not dirty at all! It's just a little dirty.'

 XB

Quote from: Nebel on September 20, 2008, 08:08:40 AM
My sister (18) browsing through H&M catalogue:
'I want to be pregnant! The clothes are so pretty :D'

A few hours after she said (about a glass)
'It's not dirty at all! It's just a little dirty.'

LOL That's sad!

"Will all cheerleaders and dragonriders please report to the main office?"

Er... ??? :P

Said something that made me feel really dumb today. Was calling to set up an interview for an internship this summer in virigina (so a 5 hour drive from here), and i asked for an address so I could get directions.  The lady got confused and was like, oh, no it's a phone interview, you don't need to come all the way up here! :P :wall:

lol ;D ;D :D :D nice!

Heh. It's ok, we all make mistakes!

My mother: He's my father, give me the phone! :P

My mother evidently doesn't like it when I receive unbirthday wishes from my grandfather. :P 

Unbirthday wishes? ???

??? What do you mean?

My younger sister, saying to one of her friends that she didn't need a ride to swim practice, she left a message on their phone: (she was tired, and wasn't thinking)
"Hi, this is tori, I don't need a swim..... i mean practice, I mean...... bye" :P

Quote from: Yonkey on February 27, 2009, 08:10:20 PM
Unbirthday wishes? ???

If I remember correctly, Deloria's birthday is February 29th :P

oh... I'd hate that...

Ahhh... so that's why there was no birthday thread! :P

lol technically there should be 1 today. :P

Quote from: atec123 on March 26, 2009, 06:57:01 PM

Quote from: Farquhar on March 26, 2009, 04:47:14 PM
I'm rather fond of rum and coke, though it has now been ages since I have had any. Only occasionally do I have a drink. :)

coke doesn't have alcohol

XD
(No offense meant of course, Atec)

A girl in most of my classes *sounding as though she's reading from a paper*: What's the ind-i-ca-tive?


She calls me to ask me this. On a Sunday. :P During vacation. :P While I'm studying. *sighs* Even if the answer weren't so blatantly obvious (keep in mind that we constantly go back to studying moods in my German class (not to mention French and English) and said girl would know this if she paid even the slightest bit of attention), it would still be rude. Hasn't anyone heard of wikipedia?

I explain and use an example in the present tense.
She then asks if <insert the same example in the perfect tense> is also indicative.
After which I affirm that it is, she asks me to define the terms reflexive, transitive and intransitive verbs. ::)

*sighs*

My dad on why tethering through his pager doesn't always work: "It has some bad memories from having previously connected."

On another note, in defining transitive vs. intransitive, you should have dived into a discussion of transitivity, ergativity, ditransitivity, and morphosyntactical alignment (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morphosyntactic_alignment) in general. (See, I've heard of wikipedia. :P)

Quote from: Delling on July 20, 2009, 05:42:23 PM
My dad on why tethering through his pager doesn't always work: "It has some bad memories from having previously connected."

On another note, in defining transitive vs. intransitive, you should have dived into a discussion of transitivity, ergativity, ditransitivity, and morphosyntactical alignment (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morphosyntactic_alignment) in general. (See, I've heard of wikipedia. :P)

I would have, but she didn't even know what the indicative was. ;P I highly doubt she would have been able to follow. :P

But! That's very much the point! If she knows that you will always respond with far more information than she thinks she will ever need and/or could even follow, then she may very well stop asking. :P

I was cuddling with my favourite kitty on my bed when she suddenly decided to lunge at my face and tear the inside of my nose open. :P Since I was bleeding profusely and it hadn't clotted after several minutes, I called my mother upstairs, telling her that I was losing a lot of blood. :P She then asked from where and I answered her, whereupon, not knowing the backstory, she asked how endometrial cells got into my nose. ::)

 XD

My cat once randomly attacked my nose similarly and it didn't really hurt too much but it bled more than I ever have! A little discomforting.

Indeed. :P It looks like someone's been murdered on my sheets. :P

pauvre Nez de Reine... she was the queen's favorite at court... until the queen's favorite cat got jealous and murdered her in her sleep. :P

The endometrial cells comment was HILARIOUS and well-delivered too. XD

Quote from: Deloria on January 19, 2010, 08:50:48 AMI called my mother upstairs, telling her that I was losing a lot of blood. :P She then asked from where and I answered her, whereupon, not knowing the backstory, she asked how endometrial cells got into my nose. ::)

LOL!  Haha, that's the best!  I'm actually laughing out loud!  ;D

two things from conversations with my dad:

Dad: "Whatever happened to Catastrophe Theory?"
Me: "It's obvious, isn't it? It got turned down."

Me: *proposes that Spanish missed an opportunity to improve on Latin by having an inclusive vs. exclusive "we" forms (nostodos vs. nosotros was the idea)*
Dad: ...but Brandon, you know how languages are: they don't improve--they decline.  XB

Awesome points to be awarded to anyone who gets the first one. :)

Quote from: Delling on February 22, 2010, 08:34:10 PM
Me: *proposes that Spanish missed an opportunity to improve on Latin by having an inclusive vs. exclusive "we" forms (nostodos vs. nosotros was the idea)*
Dad: ...but Brandon, you know how languages are: they don't improve--they decline.  XB

*groans*

Lithuanian is an improvement over PIE...*grumbles something about no one being able to appreciate 11 cases and 5 numbers*

ok, ok...but do you get the other one? :P (think Greek)

Too busy extolling the virtues of LITHUANIAN. :P


Um, kata is "down", among other things?

Or the fact that, sometimes, a catastrophe is the part of the play where the audience experiences catharsis, which is traditionally when the plot goes downhill? :P

If kata is "down", what's "strophe"?

(hint: it is a noun related to trepo/tropos (in fact, in ?Doric? IIRC, many words beginning with an m or a t in Attic have an s in front... and the o-grade of a stem was commonly employed for the formation of nouns))...

Quote from: Delling on February 26, 2010, 07:33:05 AM
If kata is "down", what's "strophe"?

(hint: it is a noun related to trepo/tropos (in fact, in ?Doric? IIRC, many words beginning with an m or a t in Attic have an s in front... and the o-grade of a stem was commonly employed for the formation of nouns))...

Oddly enough, I learned both strophe and trepo, but my professor explained that there was a distinct difference between the two. :) Obviously both mean to turn.

Quote from: Deloria on February 26, 2010, 12:05:10 AM
Or the fact that, sometimes, a catastrophe is the part of the play where the audience experiences catharsis, which is traditionally when the plot goes downhill? :P

Actually, in theater terms anyways, the catastrophe is the final event that "raises the stakes" in the plot, and that comes before the climax -- which is when catharsis occurs.

Look me using my college degree!

Quote from: Deloria on February 26, 2010, 01:40:24 PM

Quote from: Delling on February 26, 2010, 07:33:05 AM
If kata is "down", what's "strophe"?

(hint: it is a noun related to trepo/tropos (in fact, in ?Doric? IIRC, many words beginning with an m or a t in Attic have an s in front... and the o-grade of a stem was commonly employed for the formation of nouns))...

Oddly enough, I learned both strophe and trepo, but my professor explained that there was a distinct difference between the two. :) Obviously both mean to turn.

And thus a catastrophe is a down-turn... so: "Catastrophe Theory got turned down." :P

I was waiting for my train when I was approached by someone from a charity that gives poor children in Africa crutches.

Him: Could I have a moment of your time?
Me: I'm sorry, but you would be wasting your time. I'm misanthropic.
Him: what's 'misanthropic'?
Me: I see how they got you. ::)

Poor guy probably thought he'd get some money from you to...

Still... really good reply XB

I was in class once in high school and the teacher asked if anyone knew which two countries the US has the friendliest relations with.  A kid in my class raised his hand and proudly says, "London and Britain."

A friend of one of my co-workers actually though the Dalai Lama was a llama. :o

The Great Wise and All Knowledgeable Llama.   ::)

I was at the supermarket a few days ago and noticed the word "Lebensraum" was printed on all of the dividers. XD I so want us to annex Germany now. :D

Hrmm... if I send you the panthera, do you think you could annex it within the next month or so? :P ...though I suppose you still have to set yourself up as Queen of Switzerland first... well, still some civil unrest never did an economy much good. :P

A month should be quite adequate, yes. :D How will you find the ligers? Nationalists rejoice! We may have our unified German state within a year (Liechtenstein will take longer). :D

The breeding will be done in a time dilation field. :pleased:

But could you part with them? :P

Hrmm... certainly long enough for Germany... Liechtenstein might be another matter: how long do you think that would take?

It depends. :P I suppose the fastest way to do this would be to marry Prince Hans Adam II, then get him to name me as his successor/co-regent. :D Maybe 2 more weeks? He's bound to admire the idea of a unified German state and not fight it. :P

Would there be an "accident" in Hans future sometime thereafter? (only if he just names you successor right? :P)

Well, in any case, that seems more than doable. *sets up the time dilation fields* ;D

Many years ago my cousins from California were visiting, and they went to see those freaky inbreds that nobody wants to admit that they're related to.  (You know that you have some too!)  My cousin Eric came back to our house and, referring to great-aunt Claudia, says, "Yeah, we saw that one old lady.  What's her name? Gulpie?"

Doctor taking my medical history a few days ago: Do you have a life partner?
Me: I'm eighteen...?

pfft, like people don't marry at 18, two of my friends did at least.

Indeed? :D Did you help plan their wedding? :P

ofcourse not! I do not approve marrying that young!  :P

Yes, yes, much better to marry when your age is N/A. :P

Quote from: Deloria on May 29, 2010, 03:28:09 PM
Doctor taking my medical history a few days ago: Do you have a life partner?
Me: I'm eighteen...?

you could go on: "I've barely had a life yet... but then again... hrmm... a life partner from the time I'm 18... ok, sounds like fun, put me down for one of those... does it come with fries and drink?"

Quote from: Delling on May 30, 2010, 08:26:23 AM

Quote from: Deloria on May 29, 2010, 03:28:09 PM
Doctor taking my medical history a few days ago: Do you have a life partner?
Me: I'm eighteen...?

you could go on: "I've barely had a life yet... but then again... hrmm... a life partner from the time I'm 18... ok, sounds like fun, put me down for one of those... does it come with fries and drink?"

They stawved me. :(

how howwible.

Quote from: Deloria on May 30, 2010, 08:13:51 AM
Yes, yes, much better to marry when your age is N/A. :P

What age is N/A?  :-\

That's YOUR age, silly! You have it hidden on your profile. :P

Owww, never knew I had it hidden!  :o

Good stuff! *nod*nod*

You should make it public, Rob :P

My new purpose in life is to find out Rob's hidden age. :P

Who will aid me? :D

That is an awesome purpose in life indeed...

You could just ask!  ::) :P

So, Rob, how old are you? :P

I know how old he is.  :devil:

How can we make you tell us? :P

(Posted on: 31 May 2010, 13:16:20)

---

Today, at dinner, with my entire family and several of our close friends present, my father was telling us about some of his students and whether or not they passed their exams. :P While inappropriate, my brother brought the woman he spent the night with.
My father: And so, while she completely failed the mathematics part, she was able to compensate for it by acing the English oral exam.
My brother, while nuzzling his one-night-stand's neck: I'm going to pass an oral exam tonight...

Me: *speechless*


Really? XP At dinner? XP With the entire family present? XP What of class and propriety?

Eeegh...sounds like he needs to be kept in line. I suggest you put a boxing glove on a stick and give him the old right hook once in a while. :P

The real question is, how can someone compensate Math by acing English? weird school system!

The idea is that the average of all your exams is passing. :P Anyway, it's just with that one particular exam, not in general.

(Posted on: 03 June 2010, 13:48:40)

---

I'm reposting this here because I need to rant. NOW. :P

World's Biggest Idiot (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rn9_P6gFi-I&feature=PlayList&p=C8A1C0B4908173BA&playnext_from=PL&playnext=1&index=50)

Why does the fact that there is an idiot loose on the internet who desperately needs to be sterilised NOW before she figures out that she's too dumb to learn how to use birth control not bother anyone? XP
*sighs* :P

Sorry, I never will understand the mentality that keeps people from stabbing idiots on a daily basis...It confuses me. :-[

Also, the world does not and never has had a magical "Update language" button that appears every time a territory changes hands. :P So even if the UK hadn't lost many of the territories in which English is still spoken today by the time the Nazi's allegedly invaded GB and had the language magically changed in those few years to reflect that occupation no matter how unlikely and totally implausible this scenario is, these things are usually restricted to dialects, not the official language and would certainly not have affected all of Oceania, most of continental North America, parts of Africa and random islands scattered all over the Pacific, just to name a few, let alone places where English is spoken by a select educated elite.

AND FURTHERMORE, German is a declined, highly inflected language. This means that syntax or "like word order" is much freer in German, though we have a few rules regarding the placement of the predicate. English is, on the other hand, hardly inflected at all and even adverbs are falling out of use among the less educated who speak it, which is to say nothing of a concept like moods. It is virtually impossible to compare the syntax of an inflected language with that of a virtually uninflected one, simply because the latter has more rules than that former does.

And lastly, Britain was never occupied by Germany during WWII...something she should have realised by the fact that the UK acted as a beacon of hope to all occupied countries at the time and being British, she ought to have known that since it's mentioned. A LOT.

*pats on the back and offers a valium*

There there! let it go!

I myself wished I never learned german, everything sounds so mean and evil in it! *runs for cover* ;)

NO! I want to stab something now and have repeatedly been hitting my head against the desk. XP She...just...but...how. XP

Quote from: Deloria on June 10, 2010, 04:57:17 PM
She...just...but...how.

You're having an "Are You Serious, Stephanie Meyer?" moment but in real life. It happens to us all.

Ok, I apologise; I just realised the Channel Islands were occupied, but that doesn't count. XP

Quote from: Deloria on June 11, 2010, 03:18:57 AM
Ok, I apologise; I just realised the Channel Islands were occupied, but that doesn't count. XP

No, it really doesn't count. I mean that would mean that the influence of German (into the syntax that is radically different but apparently somehow ever so similar) on the already Germanic language[read: b****** child of French, Latin, and Greek... don't ask it was a really crazy night... hangovers were had by all :X... as well as LOTS of wine and ouzo ;)] spread outward through the rest of the English speaking world from the Channel Islands.

Obviously any superficial similarities between German and English are the fault of Hitler and the Nazis and have nothing to do with Old English being a Germanic language in the first place. ::)

Wow Can't believe this thread is still going!

The other day a gentleman said to me "there something very different between colour photographs and black and white"

I was like errr, ya think?? (well actually no I was very pleasant but in my head I was like well state the obvious why dont you?)  :suffer: I think perhaps he was trying to get the point that b&w is very atmospheric and some images work so much better than in colour but still, he could ahve phrased it differently!  :suffer: