POStudios Forum

Haven => The Asylum! => Topic started by: Master of Ceremonies on February 06, 2013, 09:28:37 AM

Title: I demand satisfaction!
Post by: Master of Ceremonies on February 06, 2013, 09:28:37 AM
The rules are simple. Forumers with a death wish - or simply those who have incurred another's displeasure - will take to the field of honour. Weapons, methods*, seconds and limits must be specified in an initial post here. The duel will end when I determine the victor or one party surrenders. The only people allowed to post in this thread while a duel is on are the ones directly involved in the duel: the two duelists, the two seconds, the insulted party, I, and possibly a surgeon or funeral director.

Weapons
Historical weapons included rapiers, dueling foils and daggers, and pistols. People sometimes dueled with billiard balls and, in one case, with hot air balloons. For our purposes, the challenged duelist may decide whether the duel shall be fought with rhyming insults, non-rhyming insults, or some other form of linguistic weaponry.



*Some may find that they wish to have special methods or additions, such as the use of insults in accompaniment with rapiers.
Title: Re: I demand satisfaction!
Post by: darthkiwi on February 06, 2013, 09:36:07 AM
Stika, aka Gonz! I hereby challenge you in defence of milady Deloria's honour!

My second shall be Delling. Name yours.

We shall duel with rapiers and insults, ala Monkey Island. :P
Title: Re: I demand satisfaction!
Post by: stika on February 06, 2013, 09:38:51 AM
If you wish to fight then so be it.

but I warn you:

"Every enemy I've met I've annihilated"
Title: Re: I demand satisfaction!
Post by: darthkiwi on February 06, 2013, 10:01:28 AM
With your breath, I'm sure they all suffocated!

Ha! I have never seen such clumsy swordplay!
Title: Re: I demand satisfaction!
Post by: stika on February 06, 2013, 10:17:21 AM
You would have, but you were always running away!

I can't rest 'til you're exterminated!
Title: Re: I demand satisfaction!
Post by: Master of Ceremonies on February 06, 2013, 10:20:39 AM
Stika must nominate a second to take his place in the event of his death or refusal to fight on.
Title: Re: I demand satisfaction!
Post by: stika on February 06, 2013, 10:23:40 AM
I choose... Say
Title: Re: I demand satisfaction!
Post by: Master of Ceremonies on February 06, 2013, 10:27:09 AM
The duel may continue.
Title: Re: I demand satisfaction!
Post by: darthkiwi on February 06, 2013, 10:44:02 AM
Then perhaps, sir, you should switch to decaffeinated. :P

Sir, I declare: I shall hound you night and day!
Title: Re: I demand satisfaction!
Post by: stika on February 06, 2013, 10:48:23 AM
Then be a good dog, Sit! Stay!

Your mother wears a toupee!
Title: Re: I demand satisfaction!
Post by: darthkiwi on February 06, 2013, 10:55:35 AM
Come on, that was so cliché. :P

Your looks would make pigs nauseated!
Title: Re: I demand satisfaction!
Post by: Say on February 06, 2013, 02:30:16 PM
Wait what D:

*karate moves*


St1ka likes to steal Cesar's underwear! no wait, I was supposed to duel with darthkiwi, right?


DARTHKIWI SECRETLY READS AND CAPTIONS LOLCATS ON DAILY BASIS - He says "ME" and "I" are like a disgusting secret love affair that can be interchangeable in sentences! ...and giggles while he thinks about it D:
Title: Re: I demand satisfaction!
Post by: Deloria on February 06, 2013, 02:38:21 PM
:o

Is this true? :'( You disgust me. We can no longer be together and you have no business fighting for my honour. I declare this over.
Title: Re: I demand satisfaction!
Post by: Master of Ceremonies on February 06, 2013, 02:41:31 PM
The duel is over. Honour has been satisfied, according to the initiant.
Title: Re: I demand satisfaction!
Post by: darthkiwi on February 06, 2013, 02:44:25 PM
Say! I challenge you to a duel (or maybe we were already having one?) for MAKING MY AWESOME GIRLFRIEND BREAK UP WITH ME! :'(

*sadface*

Again I nominate Delling as my second! You may choose the weapons, though I assume you will be using those baseless insults that you have been boldly throwing around? :argue:
Title: Re: I demand satisfaction!
Post by: Say on February 06, 2013, 02:49:06 PM
AMG, sorry that was a bit of a damn overkill right there :P


Alright, alright... I'll go easy.

You look like Cesar would look like as Erica WITHOUT shaving! D:

Evidence, DUN DUN DUUUUNN:
(http://i47.tinypic.com/5k3hp2.png)
Title: Re: I demand satisfaction!
Post by: darthkiwi on February 06, 2013, 03:25:29 PM
How would you know what I look like? YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN MY FACE! HA! ;D Your blow? PARRIED! :D

I'm sorry, was that an insult or were you just opening your mouth? I couldn't tell. :P I've met worthier opponents at the breakfast table!

(http://img59.imageshack.us/img59/9451/silly01.jpg)
Title: Re: I demand satisfaction!
Post by: snabbott on February 06, 2013, 03:53:26 PM
Hahahaha! My Cez-Erica picture! :D
Title: Re: I demand satisfaction!
Post by: Oldbushie on February 06, 2013, 04:45:05 PM
Sausages inna bun two for a dolla! And that's cutting me own throat!
Title: Re: I demand satisfaction!
Post by: darthkiwi on February 06, 2013, 04:50:14 PM
@Oldbushie: Good to see people vending for the crowd :P
Title: Re: I demand satisfaction!
Post by: snabbott on February 06, 2013, 04:58:19 PM
No Oldbushie throat-sausage for me, thanks. :X
Title: Re: I demand satisfaction!
Post by: stika on February 07, 2013, 04:14:07 AM
*gets the popcorn*
Title: Re: I demand satisfaction!
Post by: Say on February 08, 2013, 12:54:19 AM
@Oldbushie: Good to see people vending for the crowd :P

Hahaha! I was about to say, what the hell was that!? haha, talk about offtopic in an offtopic world :P
Title: Re: I demand satisfaction!
Post by: darthkiwi on February 10, 2013, 09:16:39 AM
Ok, I've posted a public apology at the feet of my beloved but have got no response, Say hasn't responded to my latest insult and the duel is still ongoing.

We also have spectators sitting in the aisles eating handfuls of Oldbushie's snacks. :P

So:

*takes advantage of Say's sleepiness to lunge forward with his rapier and deliver a flurry of blows* :P

You are the weasel-child of a greedy banker and a corrupt politician! You smell like artichokes! You are cultured only in the sense that a petri-dish is!

*delivers his coup-de-grace:*

(http://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/2010/4/19/129161349449979359.jpg)

And with that, I announce that my honour is satisfied. :P
Title: Re: I demand satisfaction!
Post by: Master of Ceremonies on February 10, 2013, 09:24:39 AM
Honour has been satisfied. His Grace, the Prince of the Aquitaine, is victorious. Let the injured be treated.
Title: Re: I demand satisfaction!
Post by: Deloria on February 10, 2013, 09:27:09 AM
/me rushes out from the throng of spectators and throws her arms around Darthkiwi, covering him in kisses and thanking him profusely for restoring her honour. <3
Title: Re: I demand satisfaction!
Post by: darthkiwi on February 10, 2013, 09:30:29 AM
*Happily embraces Deloria, taking her back to her Salon (http://www.postudios.com/blog/forum/index.php?topic=8842.msg350199#msg350199) where cake will be served* :P
Title: Re: I demand satisfaction!
Post by: Deloria on February 10, 2013, 09:39:35 AM
Yes, there is post-duel cake! :D
Title: Re: I demand satisfaction!
Post by: darthkiwi on February 13, 2013, 07:54:20 AM
So, anyone want to duel? It's fun! :D

Also, you needn't necessarily use insults if you'd rather roleplay sword/pistol/cannon/hot air balloon duelling.

And yes, there have been hot air balloon duels (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duel#Unusual_duels). :P