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The Royal Archives => The Dark Age => Off-Topic => Topic started by: icarus on April 16, 2008, 02:22:24 PM

Title: shy people club
Post by: icarus on April 16, 2008, 02:22:24 PM
a topic for all the shy people on this forum. As far as I can read thera vare a lot of shy people over here. This includes me too.
Title: Re: shy people
Post by: PirateKingChris on April 16, 2008, 02:35:10 PM
Definately shy. I feel awkward in any social situation where I don't know people, and I tense up and tend not to speak enough.
Title: Re: shy people
Post by: snabbott on April 16, 2008, 02:42:12 PM
Me too. It takes me a while to become comfortable with people, and I NEVER like to be in very large groups of people.
Title: Re: shy people
Post by: Nebel on April 16, 2008, 03:00:31 PM
*joins*! I'm good at pretending I'm not though, or so it seems :)
Title: Re: shy people
Post by: PirateKingChris on April 16, 2008, 03:03:15 PM
I'm good at that online. In person?  :no: Only if I've had a couple drinks do I usually loosen up and start my sense of humor going.
Title: Re: shy people
Post by: Nebel on April 16, 2008, 03:14:38 PM
Yeah, same here, but I barely drink so I easily drink too much and start hugging everyone :P
Title: Re: shy people
Post by: Petra Rocks on April 16, 2008, 03:16:48 PM
 I don't know if you could call me shy, I talk to people in public readily enough and I can interview or give a speech well, I have been told. That said I don't care for what a lot of other people do in their free time and spend my free time in public libraries, not bars. :P That makes me somewhat introverted and, well, less socially oriented than a lot of people. 
Title: Re: shy people
Post by: Tage7 on April 16, 2008, 03:19:09 PM
I grew up on the Internet; so adapting to offline societies took a long time. I really did not have any in-person human interaction between 4th grade and college. I also lived in caucasian communities in Texas and Georgia; so coming by someone that would even talk to me as an equal was difficult (I am biologically Chinese but raised completely as an American).

It took until my 3rd year in college to actually be comfortable in the offline society. Actually, it was directly after being rejected by a female friend I was quite infatuated with. I think after that, I realized that I really did not have much to be worried about. Rejection isn't bad. It only lets you know where you need to improve.

I started my unshying process by cleaning up my look. I shaved. Bought casual clothes. I tried several styles I never would have before and came up with a new one for myself. This new style I imposed upon myself actually affected me from the outside in (in a positive way).

I am able to speak to people now, but I still have several problems. My biggest problem is not being able to look people in the eye when I am talking to them.
Title: Re: shy people
Post by: koko_99_2001 on April 16, 2008, 03:21:31 PM
I used to be quite shy. And I still am kind of when I'm in new situations. But thanks to grad school and now being in the working field...I've had to overcome a lot of it. :)
Title: Re: shy people
Post by: MangoMercury on April 16, 2008, 03:23:49 PM
I'M SHY!!
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: Tage7 on April 16, 2008, 03:29:08 PM
Weird. The other topic (http://www.postudios.com/blog/forum/index.php?topic=6389) disappeared! I will repost what I typed:

I grew up on the Internet; so adapting to offline societies took a long time. I really did not have any in-person human interaction between 4th grade and college. I also lived in caucasian communities in Texas and Georgia; so coming by someone that would even talk to me as an equal was difficult (I am biologically Chinese but raised completely as an American).

It took until my 3rd year in college to actually be comfortable in the offline society. Actually, it was directly after being rejected by a female friend I was quite infatuated with. I think after that, I realized that I really did not have much to be worried about. Rejection isn't bad. It only lets you know where you need to improve.

I started my unshying process by cleaning up my look. I shaved. Bought casual clothes. I tried several styles I never would have before and came up with a new one for myself. This new style I imposed upon myself actually affected me from the outside in (in a positive way).

I am able to speak to people now, but I still have several problems. My biggest problem is not being able to look people in the eye when I am talking to them.
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: Deloria on April 16, 2008, 03:31:06 PM
I just read it and now it's gone. XD
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: PirateKingChris on April 16, 2008, 03:31:32 PM
Yeah, what the heck happened to the topic!?
Anyway,
I don't drink heavily in front of people, usually just get buzzed enough to loosen up. And this doesn't happen often cause I don't get in those situations and it's never when I'm out, it's at people's parties or whatever. I've never done the bar thing. Shyness SUCKS.
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: koko_99_2001 on April 16, 2008, 03:32:59 PM
Something's wrong, I think. This is the second time I've tried to split/merge a topic and posts have disappeared. I'm reporting it to Neil.
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: Nebel on April 16, 2008, 03:38:12 PM
I posted in it! Mysterious :( Perhaps the forum doesn't want us to be shy :O
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: koko_99_2001 on April 16, 2008, 03:39:34 PM
I did too...but my post is not even in my list of posts on my profile :-\
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: PirateKingChris on April 16, 2008, 03:40:52 PM
What Cat meant is she went to move the topic(to off topic I wager) and it deleted it instead. It didn't just vanish completely on it's own. :P
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: Deloria on April 16, 2008, 03:46:19 PM
There's a delete button an there's a split/merge button. :P They're right next to each other but Cat would definitely notice if she deleted something instead of splitting it. :P
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: koko_99_2001 on April 16, 2008, 03:49:05 PM
I clicked "merge" then found the topic to merge it with (since there were two threads "shy people" and "shy people club" and then on the next page, I clicked "merge"...and everything disappeared...
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: PirateKingChris on April 16, 2008, 03:57:07 PM
That's why I meant. You went to do that and the forum screwed up, not you :P
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: tessspoon on April 16, 2008, 04:23:45 PM
Uh oh, the forum's dyyyyyiiinnnnnng. :o

For me, I'm currently on medication for Social Anxiety Disorder. It helps, but it's still something I struggle with on a daily basis. I have a hard time making friends IRL, and by nature I'm a loner anyways. I'm a lot like my dad in that way, we'd both much prefer to stay home and read a book or play WoW than go to a party and socialize.
I've gotten so much better over the past couple of years though, partly due to everyone here and the fact that I started hanging out in the CSC computer lab this year. Being at such a small school, and in the smallest major here, helps too. We only have 3 professors and all the classes are really small, my CSC courses I'm in currently only have 6 and 8 people in them respectively, so it's easier to get to know people.

/end rambling

 :P

EDIT: The expression is "Uh oh" not "Oh Uh" ;P
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: Tage7 on April 16, 2008, 04:30:25 PM
Yeah, I think that helped me a lot too. The Computer Science field in Memphis has a lot of professors, but few students actually major in it. I get around 6-8 people in every class I take, and I know all of them, lol.
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: hercrabbiness on April 16, 2008, 05:10:25 PM
Hooo boy... yes, I definitely belong in this group too. I'm one of the shyest people you'd ever meet. Although I've been getting better over the years, I generally suck at talking to people I don't know very well. To make things worse, I need a LOT of personal space and time to myself; hanging out with groups of loud people for any longer than an hour exhausts me both emotionally and physically, and unless I can leave, I always end up grumpy and tired. This makes a lot of people mistakingly assume that I dislike them, but it's not true! :( I do like people, but I'm shy and I can only handle so much..

Shy people are pretty awesome though. ;)
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: tessspoon on April 16, 2008, 05:12:22 PM
To make things worse, I need a LOT of personal space and time to myself; hanging out with groups of loud people for any longer than an hour exhausts me both emotionally and physically,
Exactly. :yes:
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: snabbott on April 16, 2008, 05:16:26 PM
My post went away, too. Anyway, I'm pretty shy until I get to know people. I NEVER like being in very large groups of people (which is difficult around holidays, since my wife comes from a large family :suffer:). I don't think I would ever have even had a date if it weren't for eHarmony!
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: FataliOmega on April 16, 2008, 05:17:05 PM
I wouldn't say I'm necessarily shy. A lot of it depends on the circumstances. If I'm an outsider surrounded by people who do not have anything in common with me, it can be hard to feel comfortable, but otherwise, I tend to do OK.

How you feel about yourself, and your interests, also has a lot to do with it. Im just at the point where I really don't care whether others approve of my interests or not.
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: PirateKingChris on April 16, 2008, 05:53:07 PM
I'm better than I was. But I'm trying not to think about tomorrow but I can't help it. The butterflys in my stomach are going nuts :(
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: hercrabbiness on April 16, 2008, 06:10:35 PM
I'm better than I was. But I'm trying not to think about tomorrow but I can't help it. The butterflys in my stomach are going nuts :(
And what happens tomorrow?
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: PirateKingChris on April 16, 2008, 06:36:20 PM
Going to a club to see The Misfits. Very social environment.
It doesn't help I've gotta meet my friend's bf (and I'm getting over liking her)
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: FataliOmega on April 16, 2008, 06:37:43 PM
Quote
It doesn't help I've gotta meet my friend's bf (and I'm getting over liking her)

Ugh. Im sorry to hear that PKC. Been there, done that. :P
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: tessspoon on April 16, 2008, 06:41:34 PM
Uuuggghh...  Nervous as hell right now (and a little excited), going to meet Dylan in twenty minutes, supposedly to watch Aliens. But last time we tried that two weeks ago we got about 1 minute in and then neither of us were thinking about the movie at all... :P
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: Yonkey on April 16, 2008, 06:53:49 PM
I'm not really sure if I'd classify myself as shy anymore.  I used to be extremely shy, but now I find it fairly easy to talk to just about anyone.  I am pretty quiet in large groups though, and don't really go out of my way to control the conversation like some people do. :P  I just speak up when I have something to say, and just listen otherwise.

And it also really depends on how comfortable I am with the person.  If it's someone I just met, it's rare for me to be chatting non-stop with them.  It's doable, and I've had some interviews where it's been like that as well, but it's mentally exhausting to do that.  I know exactly what HCB means, when you're around people that love to talk... but you don't feel like it.
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: PirateKingChris on April 16, 2008, 08:33:57 PM
Uuuggghh...  Nervous as hell right now (and a little excited), going to meet Dylan in twenty minutes, supposedly to watch Aliens. But last time we tried that two weeks ago we got about 1 minute in and then neither of us were thinking about the movie at all... :P

My my...I wish I had that situation, cause that's a shyness I get over quickly if it's obvious the other person is super into me.
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: Lenny318 on April 16, 2008, 10:14:51 PM
I used to be shy as a child, heck my elementary school teachers would constantly tell my parents that they were attempting to break me out of my shell.  Didn't happen, or at least to the extent that they hoped.

In high school ooomg no one believes me when I say that I used to be shy, they immediately start laughing.  But I dunno I'm comfortable with my high school peeps, even the teachers.  However, I am still shy around guys and around people I don't know... so I'm not a social butterfly yeeeet.
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: tessspoon on April 16, 2008, 11:09:26 PM
Uuuggghh...  Nervous as hell right now (and a little excited), going to meet Dylan in twenty minutes, supposedly to watch Aliens. But last time we tried that two weeks ago we got about 1 minute in and then neither of us were thinking about the movie at all... :P

My my...I wish I had that situation, cause that's a shyness I get over quickly if it's obvious the other person is super into me.
I think he is... and vice versa... which is kinda complicated since we met after I put an ad out for a roommate, which we're still doing. :P But the whole thing stresses me out bad cause I've never had a boyfriend before and my SAD just makes me freak out and feel so stupid sometimes... :-\
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: icarus on April 16, 2008, 11:56:58 PM
I clicked "merge" then found the topic to merge it with (since there were two threads "shy people" and "shy people club" and then on the next page, I clicked "merge"...and everything disappeared...
tnx
after I first try to make the topic I got an error that the site didn't existed. Wen reopening the TSL site my topic was gone so I created a new one. That's why there were 2.
Here at the forum I get more open but in real life  :-[
This courses me lots of trouble (not daring to ask questions to strangers). I'm thinking on getting experts to help me whit this trouble since it's getting worse.
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: hercrabbiness on April 17, 2008, 01:44:26 AM
It doesn't help I've gotta meet my friend's bf (and I'm getting over liking her)
Ouch... been there, it's no fun. :-\ I hope you have a good time anyway!

Here at the forum I get more open but in real life  :-[
Yeah, me too. For me, the difference is so great that it's almost like I'm another person online than IRL.
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: Nebel on April 17, 2008, 02:28:28 AM
Quote from: hercrabbiness
Yeah, me too. For me, the difference is so great that it's almost like I'm another person online than IRL.

Same here! The closer the person I'm with, the smaller the difference though :P Usually, when meeting someone for the first time, I just get quiet, or talk about really stupid stuff and say things of which I later think 'whyyyyyy did I say that'. I also find it very hard to analyze what other people want and expect from me, which doesn't make it easier either, because in those cases I'm just constantly wondering whether I'm doing it right or wrong.
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: MangoMercury on April 17, 2008, 04:44:42 AM
Around people I don't know that well, I'm shy.  I try to be as close to my personality online as I am offline, but I have to feel comfortable with a person to really let myself go.
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: racx_00 on April 17, 2008, 12:33:31 PM
With people I know, I don't shut up. With people I don't know very well, I can carry a conversation, but I won't go too deep. It's not that I'm shy, I just tend to let people I don't know do the talking so I can work out what they are like, and get a feel for their personality etc..

Sometimes, I'll avoid talking to people I don't know because I'm just not in the mood to talk. But yeah, I'd say my online and offline presence is very similar... although offline I tend to be more moody. Unless I am moody online?
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: MangoMercury on April 17, 2008, 02:37:46 PM
You?  Far from it!

EDIT: *TOP OF THE PAGE DANCE*
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: awesomeasapossum on April 17, 2008, 04:02:43 PM
*Is not shy at all.*
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: snabbott on April 18, 2008, 06:46:05 AM
My mom and my wife like to start conversations with random strangers - I just don't get that concept. It's not just that I would be uncomfortable doing that (which I would), but why would I want to?

*realizes that he is posting in a forum full of relative strangers  :P*
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: Tage7 on April 18, 2008, 09:23:24 AM
If you didn't want me to go into philosopher Tage mode, it's too late. :suffer: :suffer: :suffer:

I will speculate that if survival is an instinct we cannot avoid as animals, there are at least two differences I see between your action and your wife's action. You will try not to get involved and basically show that you pose no threat to anyone around you at any given time. On the other hand, your wife tries to make friends with everyone to show them she poses no threat. Also, it may be regarded as a technique to create alliances which would help in her survival against larger predators (lol, I'm not talking Godzilla or anything--perhaps just other humans that are prone to violence).

Of course, all of this is just wild assumptions. I'm sure someone else has a much more acceptable (and provable) explanation, lol.
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: racx_00 on April 18, 2008, 10:29:54 AM
Pose no threat by not getting involved? I thought that was more "I don't care to speak to you, leave me alone and I won't harm you." XD

That's how I usually mean it. :P
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: FataliOmega on April 18, 2008, 11:21:56 AM
Quote
If you didn't want me to go into philosopher Tage mode, it's too late.

Perhaps its more of a cultural thing. Human beings are social 'creatures.' It has been proven, to function properly, we need connections with many other human beings. So, how do the two genders, traditionally, make those connections.

Traditionally, men were/are the breadwinners, and so they go to work where they are put in a setting with like minded, coworkers. They make their connections there. Easy.

Stay at home women, on the other hand, are forced to actively seek out their connections. Unless they are part of a church, or another social 'structure,' they do not have an easy answer.

Now, I know some of this traditional stuff is changing, but culture changes slowly. Perhaps we're seeing some of the remnants of this past circumstance.

Anyway, this is my thought.
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: Jafar on April 18, 2008, 11:25:38 AM
Sorry, I'm too shy to join clubs. :P
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: icarus on April 18, 2008, 11:44:02 AM
lol  ::)
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: chucklas on April 18, 2008, 11:54:15 AM
I don''t think that I am shy now, but I know that while I was growing up I was extremely shy.  I guess I felt as though I didn't have a whole lot in common with other people, perhaps it was because I am the youngest of 8 brothers and sisters and I just wanted to be left alone...I'm not really sure.  I would talk with other people and go out...etc. I just never felt like I really fit in.

When I was 19 I served a mission for my church in South America and ever since then I have not felt shy.  Perhaps it was 2 years of talking with complete strangers in a language I could hardly speak, or perhaps it was just getting older and getting over it.  I don't know for sure.
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: PirateKingChris on April 18, 2008, 12:17:04 PM
Well I certainly showed my shyness at The Misfits show. I didn't talk to anyone I didn't know, just hung out with my friends. *shrugs* Oh well....The show was GREAT by the way, though I'm half deaf even today.
And my friend-who-I'm-trying-to-get-over-liking's boyfriend was a pretty nice guy, it was his idea to go to the show too....The one thing though, if I had tattoos and piercings, I'd look like her boyfriend's brother  ;P XD
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: FataliOmega on April 18, 2008, 12:39:30 PM
Quote
When I was 19 I served a mission for my church in South America and ever since then I have not felt shy.  Perhaps it was 2 years of talking with complete strangers in a language I could hardly speak, or perhaps it was just getting older and getting over it.  I don't know for sure.

Sounds like a great, life changing experience, Chucklas. I envy you.  :)
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: Yonkey on April 18, 2008, 07:51:06 PM
One definite advantage I can say for shy people is that we're more independent.  Since we're not interacting with many people, we don't depend on many people for advice/opinion/direction/etc.  In turn, that makes us more resilient, intelligent, creative and unique. 8)
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: PirateKingChris on April 18, 2008, 08:32:28 PM
 :thumbsup:  Very true, Yonkster!
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: hercrabbiness on April 18, 2008, 08:48:48 PM
*Is not shy at all.*
What? What!? GET OUTTA HERE, NON-SHY PERSON! :say:

I kid, of course. :P How would we shy survive without the outgoing?
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: Tage7 on April 18, 2008, 09:34:47 PM
How would we shy survive without the outgoing?

the intarnets :suffer:
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: chucklas on April 19, 2008, 06:20:49 AM

Sounds like a great, life changing experience, Chucklas. I envy you.  :)

Life changing to say the least...it was because of that experience that I deciding not to do anything with my programming background and went into teaching.
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: racx_00 on April 22, 2008, 10:08:59 AM
One definite advantage I can say for shy people is that we're more independent.  Since we're not interacting with many people, we don't depend on many people for advice/opinion/direction/etc.  In turn, that makes us more resilient, intelligent, creative and unique. 8)
I'm not shy, and I don't have a problem with depending on others for advice or opinions. I keep everything to myself in regards to feelings etc.

So I have to disagree with that. That's more the social bees...
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: Suzie on April 22, 2008, 11:02:46 AM
One definite advantage I can say for shy people is that we're more independent.  Since we're not interacting with many people, we don't depend on many people for advice/opinion/direction/etc.  In turn, that makes us more resilient, intelligent, creative and unique. 8)

I actually agree with that
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: PirateKingChris on April 22, 2008, 01:38:07 PM
I do too!
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: Tage7 on April 22, 2008, 04:59:06 PM
Well, I will agree with that to a point. I believe we have the ability of not relying on people for things which does make us stronger in some areas; however, I believe that works the opposite way as well. In other words, unshy people have the ability of relying on people for things which makes them stronger in different areas.
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: Yonkey on April 22, 2008, 09:26:30 PM
I'm not shy, and I don't have a problem with depending on others for advice or opinions. I keep everything to myself in regards to feelings etc.
You won't see it as a problem, because that's how you function.  In your case, it would be more of a problem if you never relied on others for any advice or opinions. 

What I meant before is that it's more a problem for someone else depending on you, because whether that person knows it or not, they're actually depending on you and one or more other people.  But, just to clarify, I'm not saying all extroverts depend on others for everything either.  I'm sure you have to make your own decisions at times, and disagree with the opinion of others as well, just like introverts do.

It's more just the whole notion of there being this extra level of dependency.  To give some examples from my childhood: "There's no way I can be friends with X because Y hates him/her", "I can't tell Z that because they'll tell T", "If I give Q that, I'll need to give S one as well", "I can't hang out with R because Y needs me more" etc.  You basically have so many relationships dependant on you, that you end up being controlled by them.

With introverts, they'll do something because they want to or like to, and that's it.  Or they won't do something because "everyone will think something".  It's very rare for them to be influenced by peer pressure, or conform to mainstream and be like everyone else, because there's no social benefit in doing so.  Trying to be something you're not, simply doesn't work.  It makes you blend in with the crowd better, but it doesn't make you feel any better internally.  Introverts care more about the latter.
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: Tage7 on April 22, 2008, 09:39:01 PM
I agree with that. :suffer:
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: Suzie on April 23, 2008, 01:55:33 AM
With introverts, they'll do something because they want to or like to, and that's it.  Or they won't do something because "everyone will think something".  It's very rare for them to be influenced by peer pressure, or conform to mainstream and be like everyone else, because there's no social benefit in doing so.  Trying to be something you're not, simply doesn't work.  It makes you blend in with the crowd better, but it doesn't make you feel any better internally.  Introverts care more about the latter.

I really agree with that. And I can really relate as well due to a situation I'm in at the moment. Dependency will only make it harder and harder for you to deal with life on your own. Yay for introvertedness. 8)
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: waltzdancing on April 23, 2008, 09:32:24 AM
I am very shy and making friends for me is extremely difficult. I also hate to stand up in front of my college classes and give a presentation. Just the thought of millions of eyes on me is nerve punishing. Even just thinking about it makes me squirm.
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: Carla on April 23, 2008, 09:45:45 AM
^^ I'm the same way.
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: Suzie on April 23, 2008, 09:53:27 AM
^^ I'm the same way.

Me three...
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: tessspoon on April 23, 2008, 10:22:20 AM
Me four.
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: racx_00 on April 23, 2008, 10:32:45 AM
I'm not shy, and I don't have a problem with depending on others for advice or opinions. I keep everything to myself in regards to feelings etc.
You won't see it as a problem, because that's how you function.  In your case, it would be more of a problem if you never relied on others for any advice or opinions. 
Ok, I said that wrong. What I meant is I never go to anyone for advice, I rely on myself. I never ask anyone for opinions or advice, I work internally that way.

I'm actually on the fence 49% Introverted and 51% Extraverted.
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: Yonkey on April 23, 2008, 09:09:32 PM
I hated giving presentations more than exams. :P

I'm actually on the fence 49% Introverted and 51% Extraverted.
LOL!  That's pretty much 50/50 (like myself), which explains why you're an exception. :P  The previous generalization I made applies more to people who are 75% or higher extroverted.
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: tessspoon on April 23, 2008, 09:26:58 PM
Apparently when I was real little, like < 5, I wouldn't shut up and wasn't shy at all, didn't mind walking up to random strangers and chatting with them in the least. Then I learned to read... :P

Course, back then I was also super hyper / bouncing off the walls all the time, which is also a total 360 compared to what I'm like now. :P
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: PirateKingChris on April 24, 2008, 03:47:20 PM
I probably DO have those problems with my family and close friends, I'd do anything for them. And I am 50/50 as well.
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: racx_00 on April 27, 2008, 09:14:44 AM
I hated giving presentations more than exams. :P
I hate both equally. :P
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: waltzdancing on April 27, 2008, 09:23:07 PM
I hated giving presentations more than exams. :P
I hate both equally. :P
I hate both of them too, but I think exams are easier because you can be prepaired for it if you studied. Presentations can go south in a blink of an eye and you have no control.
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: PirateKingChris on April 27, 2008, 09:25:13 PM
Presentations 173% worse than exams. I LOATHE public speaking.
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: waltzdancing on April 27, 2008, 09:30:10 PM
Actually, in one of the textbooks, I read that the number one thing people are afraid of is speaking in front of a large group of people. The second thing people were afraid of was dying.

 ??? Interesting
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: Yonkey on April 27, 2008, 09:36:15 PM
I always had to rehearse presentations 10 or more times, partly because I had to memorize what I was going to say, but mostly because it doesn't come naturally to me to speak constantly for 5, 10 or 15 minutes straight.  Especially to large groups of people.

But it's funny... I would always be extremely nervous before having to present something, but as soon as I'm up there and speaking, the nerves vanish after the first minute or so.
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: waltzdancing on April 27, 2008, 09:42:28 PM
I pray that I get over my fear of speaking. I hope to receive a teaching certificate for Elementary and Middle School education. I think it is sort of ironic that this was the career path I chose.
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: tessspoon on April 27, 2008, 10:06:54 PM
I have a 20-minute presentation I have to give in about a week... not so nervous about it now, but this time next week I will be. There's only 8 or 9 people in the class though plus the teacher so at least it's not a huge crowd or anything. :P
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: PirateKingChris on April 27, 2008, 10:13:54 PM
5 people or hundreds, I'd be just as nervous either way :P
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: Yonkey on April 28, 2008, 05:15:47 AM
lol, yep.  I used to think the more people, the more scary it is.  But, when you have fewer people, they all pay closer attention. :P
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: koko_99_2001 on April 28, 2008, 06:45:53 AM
I guess I'm just used to it now. In grad school, with presentations for every class, plus our big project in order to graduate, it became pretty natural. Most the time in classes, we were in groups, but we would have to make 30-45 minute presentations...which means each person spoke for about 10 minutes. But the big final project was just you...and that was about a 20 minute one. THAT one was scary, just because you knew if you didn't do well, you had one more chance...or you didn't graduate!
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: racx_00 on April 28, 2008, 07:53:45 AM
Ok, exams I suck at. I prepare and everything goes out the window when I'm sitting for it. Presentations, it's the same thing. However, if I were to speak infront of people about general knowledge, that is no problem.

I'm better with improvising a speech/presentation, rather than doing a written one. However, if it's for a class on an assignment you need to have a prepared one for time limits etc. and that's something I can't do.

Like yesterday at my mates wedding. I had a speech prepared and I was nervous. Last minute I decided to throw that out and go with on the spot thinking. Turned out being 10 times better and I found it alot easier.
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: tessspoon on April 28, 2008, 11:16:51 AM
I guess I'm just used to it now. In grad school, with presentations for every class, plus our big project in order to graduate, it became pretty natural. Most the time in classes, we were in groups, but we would have to make 30-45 minute presentations...which means each person spoke for about 10 minutes. But the big final project was just you...and that was about a 20 minute one. THAT one was scary, just because you knew if you didn't do well, you had one more chance...or you didn't graduate!
I'm thinking about maybe going to grad school... though that sounds like something to put on the con side of the decision! :P
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: Kimmie on April 28, 2008, 12:57:52 PM
urgh speaking infront of people at uni *shudder*
you have your lecturer marking you, peers who are better than you listening to your every mistake. DREADFUL
somehow I got through my degree  :suffer:
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: Shades2585 on April 28, 2008, 01:05:37 PM
I guess I'm just used to it now. In grad school, with presentations for every class, plus our big project in order to graduate, it became pretty natural. Most the time in classes, we were in groups, but we would have to make 30-45 minute presentations...which means each person spoke for about 10 minutes. But the big final project was just you...and that was about a 20 minute one. THAT one was scary, just because you knew if you didn't do well, you had one more chance...or you didn't graduate!
I'm thinking about maybe going to grad school... though that sounds like something to put on the con side of the decision! :P
That sound like a good thing. What are you going to work on?
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: koko_99_2001 on April 28, 2008, 01:33:57 PM
I'm thinking about maybe going to grad school... though that sounds like something to put on the con side of the decision! :P

I'm sure it depends on what you're studying XD My field is medically based, so we had to do a lot of research and things :P Thus, our presentations were based on the different types of research we did into all the different journal articles.
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: tessspoon on April 28, 2008, 02:25:43 PM
That sound like a good thing. What are you going to work on?
Computer Science. Only if I can get a full ride somewhere though, I can't afford it on my own after already attending a private university for four years. But my prof said that there's a decent chance of that with the computer science field if we do well enough as an undergrad.

But it's still  a ways off for me anyways; I've gotta get through two more years here first XD :P
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: Yonkey on April 28, 2008, 10:04:51 PM
With Computer Science or related, you generally don't need to do any post-graduate work, unless you plan on becoming a professor.  Unfortunately, that doesn't save you from having to do presentations. :P I had quite a lot of group projects & presentations in 3rd & 4th year. :-\

I guess just like exams, you really have to prepare for them, in order to do well.  I know Jason said that sometimes coming up with stuff on the spot is a lot better, but I just can't do that with dozens of eyes on me and one of them scribbling down notes, most likely deducting marks... :sweating:

In a more casual setting, it's a lot easier.  Still though, I think you have to have a general idea of what you want to say before you start saying it.  For me, it meant typing up notes, and rehearsing over and over again. :sleepy:
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: Tage7 on April 29, 2008, 09:53:47 PM
I get nervous right before having to start a presentation. First, my heart starts beating faster. Then my diaphragm forgets to breathe by itself. Then I get queasy. Then a minute after rambling, all that goes away. Instead, there's a loud voice in my head screaming, "PLEASE! SHOOT ME!"

Computer Science group projects and presentations suuuuuuck. Good luck. :suffer:
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: Yonkey on April 29, 2008, 10:21:20 PM
My heart races too before presentations, and whenever it was my turn to read out loud in class. :P  Even whenever I put up my hand to ask a question, or whenever I want to say something in a group of people. 

But it's always just leading up to it.  After that first minute passes, everything goes back to normal.  Then when I finish and return to my seat or whatever, my heart starts racing again, and then goes back to normal.  It's pretty annoying. :P
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: Tage7 on April 29, 2008, 10:51:07 PM
The exact same thing happens to me. I have come to rely on the feeling in class. When I'm sitting in a lecture and my heart starts racing, I know I want to say something, lol. If I don't say whatever is making my heart beat so fast, I know I would regret it later.
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: koko_99_2001 on April 30, 2008, 05:03:20 AM
Well, one thing I can't ever get over is when I sign in my church. I'm great going up there...then the music starts and I'm good. But, about halfway through my signing, my heart is racing, and my legs and hands are shaking. By the time I sit down, I just have to keep breathing and my hands are shaking like you wouldn't believe. :P
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: racx_00 on April 30, 2008, 10:37:33 AM
For me, it meant typing up notes, and rehearsing over and over again. :sleepy:
Notes I tend to have, but I hate them and try to ditch them at the last second. XD Rehearsing is something I've never done, that only makes it more nerve racking in the end.

I had to do a speech in front of 700 people. I had no idea what I was to say, and I pulled it off perfectly with minimal amount of nerves. I just find it so much easier that way. Writing a speech and knowing what you have to say means you think it over in your head a lot more. That tends to kill me. XD
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: Yonkey on April 30, 2008, 08:29:11 PM
Well, one thing I can't ever get over is when I sign in my church. I'm great going up there...then the music starts and I'm good. But, about halfway through my signing, my heart is racing, and my legs and hands are shaking. By the time I sit down, I just have to keep breathing and my hands are shaking like you wouldn't believe. :P
Yeah... that does sound like almost the same thing.  Of course, singing in front of people is a lot more nerve-wracking than regular speaking. :P

I had to do a speech in front of 700 people. I had no idea what I was to say, and I pulled it off perfectly with minimal amount of nerves. I just find it so much easier that way. Writing a speech and knowing what you have to say means you think it over in your head a lot more. That tends to kill me. XD
700?! :o  I don't think I've ever had to speak in front of that many.  I don't know... I wouldn't find it easier just getting up there and making stuff up, but I guess it really depends on what you're speaking about.  If it's something you're really excited & passionate about, then I guess it wouldn't be too difficult to do... but I don't know.  With that many people watching, I don't think I'd be comfortable just winging it on the spot. :P
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: koko_99_2001 on May 01, 2008, 07:12:32 AM
signing...not singing ;) But it does look like I just transpose the g and n :P
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: racx_00 on May 01, 2008, 12:31:32 PM
Signing? As in like signing your name in a book?
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: Suzie on May 01, 2008, 12:32:56 PM
I think she means sign language :P
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: racx_00 on May 01, 2008, 12:36:28 PM
Oh ok, now I understand the nerves. If she meant signing a book, I'd wonder why she was getting nervous. :P
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: tessspoon on May 01, 2008, 02:11:12 PM
I was confused too, that makes more sense.

I've always wanted to learn sign language, ever since I went to summer camp when I was eleven. A couple of boys who were in my group were deaf so for the talent show, we learned a song in sign language. I still remember it too.
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: PirateKingChris on May 01, 2008, 08:00:34 PM
Yeah sign language would be helpful to know.

And I think I can sing ok but I'm deathly afraid of doing solos in front of people.
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: Delling on May 27, 2008, 07:22:40 AM
I'm making this post for two reasons: 1) this thread stopped at 99 posts and call it what you will: I have to get it to 100 :P and 2) to reply to something

... our presentations were based on the different types of research we did into all the different journal articles.
This reminded me that I need to prep an article for journal club tomorrow...

Notes I tend to have, but I hate them and try to ditch them at the last second. XD Rehearsing is something I've never done, that only makes it more nerve racking in the end.

I had to do a speech in front of 700 people. I had no idea what I was to say, and I pulled it off perfectly with minimal amount of nerves. I just find it so much easier that way. Writing a speech and knowing what you have to say means you think it over in your head a lot more. That tends to kill me. XD
This reminded me of my valedictory (and was what I figured I should reply to)... I would have much rather spoken off the cuff (in which case, I would have lambasted the school's shortcomings), but the administration required that I turn in a speech ahead of time. The administrator did say it was the best one he'd ever read (but then I don't think he'd read that many ;P).

I wrote something like four before that one... each one was pretty cruel to the school in its own special way. ::) :P IIRC, in one, I likened the behavior of the student body to that of lamias and nagas (part-snake, part-human creatures) and the school itself to something like a corrupting swamp that made the students that way...

Anyway, I got up there, saw a particular instructor in the audience (wanted to go hit him (he was horrible!)), paused abruptly, heard one of my friends sitting with my family shout something out at me, and got back on track. I think I ultimately stumbled over only a phrase or two.
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: Yonkey on May 27, 2008, 07:02:31 PM
You were valedictorian? :D  Congrats! XD
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: PirateKingChris on May 27, 2008, 07:38:26 PM
No shock to me, Delling, you seem like an ingenious fellow!
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: Delling on May 29, 2008, 06:45:55 AM
You were valedictorian? :D  Congrats! XD
No shock to me, Delling, you seem like an ingenious fellow!
:) Thank you both (though it was a rather small school).:P
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: Deloria on May 30, 2008, 12:41:12 PM
Congratulations! :D
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: Suzie on May 30, 2008, 12:46:56 PM
Congratulations from me also :D
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: Delling on May 30, 2008, 12:56:38 PM
Thank you both...

I'm a little surprised to be receiving such congratulations from everyone... you do all know I'm referring to my high school graduation? *thought that was in the post somewhere* :P ??? (maybe it's just that it was 3 years ago :P... the nuance has worn out on me ;)) :) *is happy to receive the congratulations all the same* :P
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: hula_chick on June 17, 2008, 07:50:47 AM
I didn't know you were valedictorian either- congrats! Unfortunately, I, to am shy...I know groundbreaking, right? I, however like large groups as long as I know everyone...
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: Deloria on June 20, 2008, 08:36:34 PM
Thank you both...

I'm a little surprised to be receiving such congratulations from everyone... you do all know I'm referring to my high school graduation? *thought that was in the post somewhere* :P ??? (maybe it's just that it was 3 years ago :P... the nuance has worn out on me ;)) :) *is happy to receive the congratulations all the same* :P
Indeed. XD It merited congratulations, no matter how long ago it was. :D

Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: Rosella on July 09, 2008, 06:01:26 PM
Psh. It doesn't matter when it was or at what size school. Valedictorian is definitely admirable. Congrats!

Also I have no real reservations about public speaking, but I used to be terrified. Ever since I started getting solos in choir in 6th grade, I got a lot better very quickly. I would tense up completely and start shaking. Not good for singing. :P That only happens rarely now, and never with school presentations.

I don't think I'm really shy. I don't have reservations about talking to people (Unless they're someone I particularly feel I have to impress :sweatdrop: ,) but I lean towards not having many friends. What Neil was talking about before about "I can't tell T because he'll tell Y" holds very true for me. I can't stand all of that so usually the people I do befriend are the shy ones. Inserting myself into complicated webs of loyalties does not sound appealing to me. :P

Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: Deloria on July 09, 2008, 06:31:50 PM
If I'm speaking to someone I know I'll see and speak to often, I tend to be much more reserved than I am when speaking to another I know I'll never see again. ;P I can ramble about a variety of topics if I'm at ease and can usually manage to easily impress someone if I feel I must, but am much happier regarding and listening to group discussions from a distance, rather than participating in them and dislike being the center of attention. :) 
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: PirateKingChris on October 05, 2008, 11:36:02 AM
I've actually gotten myself talking to a young lady on facebook whom I've only met once and already been invited to New York Comic Con next year  :D
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: icarus on December 10, 2008, 01:10:39 PM
posts a post vbin this tread again.
and the girlfriend word
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: atec123 on December 10, 2008, 01:33:22 PM
I'm too shy for that, *joins the club*
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: Jumpmann1 on December 12, 2008, 03:09:53 PM
I'm shy, but I'm not afraid of talking to lots of people.
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: icarus on December 13, 2008, 09:15:37 AM
than you're a bit luckier. As You can see it's for me difficult. Even here at the forum. (see my first post) I believe It took me a year too get a bit more open. Even now I sometomes have troubles whit it.
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: snabbott on December 13, 2008, 09:44:19 AM
I don't know about you, but the hardest part for me is meeting people. Once I know them a little bit, it's a lot easier to talk to them. Even with people I know, though, I often feel like they're just talking to me to be polite.  :-\
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: icarus on December 13, 2008, 09:58:45 AM
Treu. It's that feeling can I trust someone. when you're talting to someone for a longer time you lear things about what you can trust to someone. In the past I lost my trust in people several times deu too they weren't trustworthy after I told them some things. Even now I have that trouble. Resently a coleage of mine broke it. He made worse jokes about my fantasy events. It made me feel terible. From that point I knew I wouldn't trust him anymore. He only gets tecnical information from me. No more social information. That is wors if you want to have a team instead of a department.
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: tessspoon on December 13, 2008, 01:42:43 PM
That's awful that he made fun of your events. :( I think they look like fun :D
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: Carla on December 13, 2008, 04:29:59 PM
Once I know them a little bit, it's a lot easier to talk to them.
Agreed.

And I totally agree with the trust thing. Cause I'm really shy at first and also have severe trust issues, so it's really hard for me to meet new people.
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: snabbott on December 13, 2008, 07:15:13 PM
He made worse jokes about my fantasy events.
I don't know why people have to do that. Just because someone likes something different, they make fun of it. At least you are doing something active rather than sitting around all the time watching TV. (Not that there's anything wrong with TV.)

WE know you're cool, so forget what he thinks!
Title: Re: shy people club
Post by: Yonkey on December 14, 2008, 08:38:37 PM
Usually when people make jokes about things I like, I just give a blank stare to the person making the joke, wait a few seconds until the laughter/jokes stop, then just say something like "...Anyway, " and continue with whatever else I was talking about. :P

It's a subtle, but very effective way at getting people to know you're not amused by whatever they said.  If the comment makes you feel upset or depressed, reacting to it only makes things worse, especially when you're with a group of people.

Another thing people do is retort with a witty comeback, or respond by joking about something that that person likes, so that they get a taste of their own medicine. XB  But, you need to do it quick and in a comedic manner, otherwise they could take it the wrong way and get pretty angry.