Stupid things you have said or heard

[J-ROC]

Those help desk things were hilarious!

[uselessidguy331]

That the Eagles had a chance to win the Super Bowl when it was third down and they were on their own 4 yardline with 24 seconds left and no timeouts.

[Oldbushie]

Stupidest thing my dad ever said: "Thank goodness I'm moving to Virginia where it won't snow!" The very winter after we moved, there was a record blizzard.

[Lollotte]

"My boyfriend is such a dork...look at that hot guy!" --My friend, standing next to her boyfriend at a party.  

[Rosella]

"I know you're gonna thwack me for saying this, but is fiction made up or real?"-My friend Caitlin about 9 hours ago

[Raforever]

17:30 - "I'll be back in 5 minutes mom"
00:30 - "Hi mom, I'm back"

"I know you're gonna thwack me for saying this, but is fiction made up or real?"-My friend Caitlin about 9 hours ago

lol

[Rosella]

I was about ready to make her ask an employee.

[Raforever]

lol

I know that i've heard something really funny somewhere, i just can´t remember where  

[Lollotte]

Poetry class:

Prof: You, what is end rhyme?
Me (after one of my rare space-out moments): It was a company that was busted for insider trading after the dot.com bubble burst...
Prof: NOT ENRON, END RHYME.

Then, he proceeded to draw me personal planet and a picture of earth...

Prof (smiling good humoredly): Come back to Earth!  

[Farquhar]

Once on a billboard I saw an advertisement for a kitchen store and it must've been incomplete because all it said was "Kid's like to run with sharp knives."  

[koko_99_2001]

I was at work last week and a customer wanted me to sell him something to pass a drug test.

Me: I'm sorry, sir, but I can't sell you anything to pass a test.
Him: You know I could have you fired for this.
Me: Sir, it's ILLEGAL for me to sell you anything to pass a test.
Him: (pause) You know I could have you fired for this.

[Lollotte]

Wow. I knew I didn't like poppy seed bagels for a reason!

Something stupid I heard from some random person:

PERSON (viewing a photo of the leaning tower of Pisa): "Look! It's the Eiffel Tower! I never realized it wasn't in Paris..." 

[edgarnick]

There was a boy called Connor who asked me for me for 5p
Connor: Nick, i desperatley need 5p to because i need 15p more to go on the bus
Nick:OK, as long as you give me 10p
Connor: Ok.
I was laughing my head off for ages 

[Amayirot Akago]

Plenty more helpdesk and other computer-related stupidities to be found here:
http://rinkworks.com/stupid/

[Rosella]

"He reminds me of Runt, but in a masculine way."

In reference to my cat.

[Deloria]

Here is some more stuff that goes wrong with computer's: http://www.allowe.com/Humor/computerenhancers.htm  
Here is one embarassing one: http://www.zug.com/pranks/cellboy/

[awesomeasapossum]

I have a friend that will say stupid comments about almost anything and then when someone says something like, "Not really because (whatever it is that proves what he said wrong)" He'll put on a 'thinking face' then say, "That's True."

[Louisiana Night]

It went something like...

"Hi, I'm Joe. I can sleep through a hurricane... if you'll turn that light off"(spoken by a man, very shortly after the eye of Rita passed through his area)

I didn't find it so much stupid, as funny... but we  don't have a "funny quotes" thread.

[Raforever]

classmate 1: did you get that Java applet working yesterday

classmate 2: yeah all it needed was that Java.io.* thing in the begining i have forgotin and the test class with the multiply method

me: i found a bone in my backyard yesterday

[Lollotte]

HAHA! That's random. 

This is a real sign:

CHEAPER then cheaper
"Smile your saving" alot of Money

Kitchen items - pots - bowls - milk