Coming out of the closet.

[Blackthorne]

Well, there's a difference between "being gay" and "flaming".  Problem is, many people associate "being gay" WITH "flaming" when they are very different.


Bt

[Fierce Deity]

Well, there's a difference between "being gay" and "flaming".  Problem is, many people associate "being gay" WITH "flaming" when they are very different.


Bt

Understood, and agreed. As said in my last post, my friend is different from what is depicted by the media as being "gay". His sexual orientation does not affect his physical appearance as much as people may assume. People are people. That won't change.

[crayauchtin]

First of all, congratulations Melook! And good luck in continuing with your coming out process!! 

I totally get coming out online first. I did (not on this forum, ya'll had to wait ) and, yes Lamb, you're absolutely right. It's easier because of the lack of consequences. Honestly it's silly, because telling people you're gay or bi or whatever should not be different than telling people you like popcorn or that you you play King's Quest. It's just a thing about yourself. Unfortunately, it's kind of a big deal the way things are right now.

Coming out online is nice because there aren't consequences. People don't accept it, no harm no foul, you just disappear or delete the thread or whatever because you don't know these people and it doesn't matter. On the other hand, if people are supportive (as we're being) that gives a safe place to come if coming out in real life gets difficult. Or if you start to chicken out -- you have no idea who these people are but they *are* people and they have your back in at least this one area of your life. For some people -- and I'm hopeful this isn't Melook's case -- an online forum might be all they have who support them in this. So that's why people do it.

Fierce Diety -- it may not have been that your friend thinks of you as someone who judges people on sexuality, but the more important someone is in your life, the scarier it can be to tell them. So... I think maybe you should take that as a compliment?

Anyways, to comment on the actual discussion at hand... as far as the "both worlds" thing goes... usually when people say "both worlds" it's a sort of sexual comment so I am also confused about d-d's statement. Unless you're saying, d-d, that it'd be easier to fit in to both LGBT and mainstream straight culture? But bi people tend to face discrimination from both the LGBT community and straight culture... so that's actually quite the opposite. It reminds me Cher's song "Half-Breed" (officially the most stereotypical gay person in this thread now, I know. )

But I would say.... I think there's a definite difference between men and women that even gay guys can feel drawn to women. It leads to that oh-so-often-made-fun-of Will & Grace-esque relationship, but I think *all* men have an attraction to women, whether or not it's sexual or romantic or completely platonic.... I think I had a point and this related back to the discussion, but the train of thought just got totally derailed. Someone figure out where I was going with this, please?

[Delling]

Unless you're saying, d-d, that it'd be easier to fit in to both LGBT and mainstream straight culture? But bi people tend to face discrimination from both the LGBT community and straight culture... so that's actually quite the opposite.

Oh, bi-erasure... you so Pharisaical, you're even Pharisaical amongst the already Pharisaical (it's hyper-Pharisaical).

But I would say.... I think there's a definite difference between men and women that even gay guys can feel drawn to women. It leads to that oh-so-often-made-fun-of Will & Grace-esque relationship, but I think *all* men have an attraction to women, whether or not it's sexual or romantic or completely platonic.... I think I had a point and this related back to the discussion, but the train of thought just got totally derailed. Someone figure out where I was going with this, please?

I tried... but I just made it worse... so I deleted it... so now this really doesn't accomplish much... oh well...

[crayauchtin]

I tried... but I just made it worse... so I deleted it... so now this really doesn't accomplish much... oh well...

I'm trying to imagine what could make that worse.... and frankly, Delling, I'm appalled at you. 

[Delling]

I tried... but I just made it worse... so I deleted it... so now this really doesn't accomplish much... oh well...

I'm trying to imagine what could make that worse.... and frankly, Delling, I'm appalled at you. 

I think you tried too hard there, Cray. Most people would realize (given a basic knowledge of me) that I rambled off in some random direction that initially seemed like where you were going but only made matters worse.

[Rosella]

He may have been off base, but I found his comment entirely hilarious.

[Delling]

I wasn't saying it wasn't funny. Just had to stick up for myself in that I am not THAT dirty-minded.

[crayauchtin]

You may not be, but I completely am. Completely.

[writerlove]

Melook I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to share that with us! I wish there wasn't so much stigma around being gay or anything of the sort. I'm sure your family/friends will love you regardless.

[Deloria]

You may not be, but I completely am. Completely.

Aww, let's all disgust polite society.

[Delling]

You may not be, but I completely am. Completely.

Aww, let's all disgust polite society.

But you're like the bastion banrion of polite society on the forum, Deloria!

[Deloria]

You may not be, but I completely am. Completely.

Aww, let's all disgust polite society.

But you're like the bastion banrion of polite society on the forum, Deloria!

I see what you did there!