Author Topic: To all the ladies Of Tsl forums need advice  (Read 6740 times)

Offline The Hero

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To all the ladies Of Tsl forums need advice
« on: October 21, 2011, 01:21:59 PM »
 if you where really mad at a guy to point of wanting to break up
 if he wanted you back and sent you flowers with the following card message "Don’t walk away See I just can’t find the right thing to say I tried but all my pain gets in the way Tell me what I have to do so you’ll stay Should I get down on my knees and pray"
 these are the flowers

 accompanied by a heart shaped box of dove chocolate could you so easily refuse him
 this question isnt so random
 help

Offline Deloria

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Re: To all the ladies Of Tsl forums need advice
« Reply #1 on: October 21, 2011, 01:42:18 PM »
Unless you were fighting specifically about the fact that you don't give her enough flowers, this won't help. She needs to know that you're truly sorry and she wants to know that you know what you did was wrong and for you to apologise for that.
 
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Offline The Hero

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Re: To all the ladies Of Tsl forums need advice
« Reply #2 on: October 21, 2011, 01:48:42 PM »
she wanted "something" but i said we always do something at thus time and its boring im suew tiy all can guess what the something is so am i dead now or what

Offline Deloria

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Re: To all the ladies Of Tsl forums need advice
« Reply #3 on: October 21, 2011, 02:10:36 PM »
Excellent. XD We now have a sex tips thread. XD In any case, don't send the flowers. It will come off as clingy and annoying and doesn't even remotely address the problem. :P She wants to know that you understand her frustration. :P

I love sex. And whenever it gets boring, you should talk to each other about what you want and experiment with that. :) This requires a lot of trust, but if you're getting married, you should have that covered anyway.
 
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Offline snabbott

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Re: To all the ladies Of Tsl forums need advice
« Reply #4 on: October 21, 2011, 02:27:45 PM »
Unless you were fighting specifically about the fact that you don't give her enough flowers, this won't help.
I don't think it would work in that case - then you would just be giving her flowers because she told you to. It's supposed to be spontaneous.

Sorry, I don't have any "something" advice to offer. :P

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Offline The Hero

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Re: To all the ladies Of Tsl forums need advice
« Reply #5 on: October 21, 2011, 02:48:31 PM »
hmmm uh oh the shop alredy sent it out for delvery now what?
 uh i feel like such a horrible boyfriend

Offline Deloria

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Re: To all the ladies Of Tsl forums need advice
« Reply #6 on: October 21, 2011, 02:48:46 PM »
Unless you were fighting specifically about the fact that you don't give her enough flowers, this won't help.
I don't think it would work in that case - then you would just be giving her flowers because she told you to. It's supposed to be spontaneous.
If I were upset with someone because he didn't give me flowers and then gave me flowers as an apology, I'd be mollified. :P
 
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Offline The Hero

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Re: To all the ladies Of Tsl forums need advice
« Reply #7 on: October 21, 2011, 02:54:12 PM »
well she dies this kinda thing all the time shell say shell wanna break yp but then ill ask her later she;; be like "no i just wanted you to shut up" do i never know if shes serious

Offline Delling

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Re: To all the ladies Of Tsl forums need advice
« Reply #8 on: October 21, 2011, 03:20:26 PM »
Unless you were fighting specifically about the fact that you don't give her enough flowers, this won't help.
I don't think it would work in that case - then you would just be giving her flowers because she told you to. It's supposed to be spontaneous.
If I were upset with someone because he didn't give me flowers and then gave me flowers as an apology, I'd be mollified. :P
We all know you're more logical than most, Deloria. ;P
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Offline koko_99_2001

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Re: To all the ladies Of Tsl forums need advice
« Reply #9 on: October 21, 2011, 03:38:15 PM »
There could be several things going on. She says she's wanting to break up but it's only because she wants you to shut up, then there's the possibility that you're just too clingy and she doesn't care for that. Another is that she just doesn't know how to express her feelings and thus wants to run when the going gets tough.

Truthfully, if anyone is dating someone who constantly wants to break up, then that's a sign of an unhealthy relationship and the person is one who may not take commitment seriously. Dating and especially engagement is a precursor to marriage. And if that person is unwilling to make a commitment during an engagement and stick by with things are tough, then this person is the kind of person who will leave a marriage when things are rough.

I know you love her and don't want to lose her, but this might be the sign you need that it's time to move on. Especially if you're looking for a marriage that will last. :)
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Offline Deloria

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Re: To all the ladies Of Tsl forums need advice
« Reply #10 on: October 21, 2011, 04:55:41 PM »
Ok, look, I didn't respond like this earlier because I had to decode your posts first.

NEVER tell a girl that sex with her is boring. Instead, suggest that you try something new. :P She has every right to be offended, but frankly, it's as much your fault as it is hers. You should apologise, since the flowers are already being delivered I suppose that will do, but you should also apologise in person and tell her that you want to work with her to make things "less boring". She's definitely overreacting, but I can see why she's hurt. If you do that, she'll probably let you work things out with her. :)
 
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Offline KatieHal

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Re: To all the ladies Of Tsl forums need advice
« Reply #11 on: October 21, 2011, 06:53:16 PM »
Cat is very wise, and should be listened to.

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Offline The Hero

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Re: To all the ladies Of Tsl forums need advice
« Reply #12 on: October 22, 2011, 11:11:27 AM »
ok so its clear whatever i said to her mad her depressed enough to get drunk o.o what a sorry state that was considering she had not drank any alcohol for a year since we met and im thinking this is the girl i love look what i made her do i feel like a really ass we talked it over she came back but knowing that she was down enough ti drink ro know i hurt her so deep i cant seem to forgive myself i feel like a ass

Offline Haids1987

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Re: To all the ladies Of Tsl forums need advice
« Reply #13 on: October 22, 2011, 11:37:43 AM »
You guys seem like you have wayyyy too many problems for this to be a healthy, serious relationship.  I think you want this more than she does, and that you're making yourself miserable in so doing.  Move on, find someone who wants what you want, and stop letting her string you along.  She obviously isn't ready to get married.
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Offline KatieHal

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Re: To all the ladies Of Tsl forums need advice
« Reply #14 on: October 22, 2011, 11:40:14 AM »
You might've hurt her feelings with what you said, so yes, apologize. That said, her actions are not your fault--she makes those choices.

In my honest opinion, she's not treating you very fairly. Threatening to break up, not discussing the real issues, if I remember right she was talking about liking some other guy a while ago--all of this is not acceptable behavior from someone who's supposed to be committed to you. You deserve to be treated well, too, Hero, don't let this girl get away with doing all these awful things that make YOU feel bad about yourself. Honesty, openness, faith, and support are all things necessary to a good relationship, and she doesn't sound like she's giving you any of those.

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Offline The Hero

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Re: To all the ladies Of Tsl forums need advice
« Reply #15 on: October 22, 2011, 11:49:09 AM »
Thank you everyone i think we have some serious thinking to  i  thank you all for the advice would like to keep this thread open to keep you guys informed why? because this place is fantasic never afraid to be honest i feel like you gurd rea;;y care so thanks again
 

Offline Damar

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Re: To all the ladies Of Tsl forums need advice
« Reply #16 on: October 22, 2011, 12:00:06 PM »
I wasn't sure I was going to respond since this was directed to the ladies, but whatever.  You want advice and I've got it.  Ignore it if you want.

Look, from what you've posted, you've had a bunch of arguments with this woman.  The last thing you posted was about how a friend of her's hit on her after you guys had an argument and there was drama that she felt she was cheating (which she wasn't, since his actions weren't her fault.)  Prior to that, if I recall, you posted asking about if you had kids with this woman, whether they'd look more like her because you think she's prettier than you.  And now you're saying that you told her you thought sex was boring because it always happens at the same time, so you sent her flowers with a card that doesn't address what you did and specifically says you couldn't figure out what to say, even though you took the time to make sure it had a rhyme scheme.

I don't know you and I don't know your relationship.  But everything you've posted makes it seem like you're really, really, really attached to this woman.  Clingy and dependently attached.  If she's threatening a breakup just to shut you up, then she's either emotionally abusive, or you are incredibly clingy.  I'm going to assume the second because of the above topics and the fact that even now, you're not talking about changing anything.  You're just saying what a horrible boyfriend you are and creating more emotional drama that doesn't solve anything.  As for her getting drunk, Katie's right.  That's her choice.  But also, you're making it sound like she has a problem, like she was in the pits of despair and drowning it in alcohol.  Was that really the case?  Or is it that she was just out with friends, getting some space, and she happened to drink?  Does she normally not drink?  Do you not like her to drink?  Is she in her early 20's when drinking is kind of the thing that people do with their friends?  There's a lot of circumstantial information that's needed to differentiate whether she was drinking to excess, or she just wanted space and went out drinking with her friends.  Either way, you don't make anyone do anything.  She lives her own life, and if she wants to drink, that's her choice.

In all honesty, I think you've got to figure out what you want out of this relationship.  Do you even want her, or do you just want to be in a relationship to keep the loneliness at bay?  Is the sex actually boring or does it just lack spontaneity?  Or do you have a different sex drive than she does?  Some people legitimately don't want that much sex at all (personally, I really don't get that, but apparently low sex drives do exist.  Incredible!)  There's a lot of missing information here, but from what you've posted here and in the past, you're pretty dependent on this relationship and your apologies to her seem to just be cries for her not to leave you, pointing to clinginess.  So like I said, get yourself figured out.  Maybe give each other some space for a while and then come back later.

Anyway, that's my non-lady advice.  Take it or leave it.

Offline darthkiwi

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Re: To all the ladies Of Tsl forums need advice
« Reply #17 on: October 22, 2011, 03:13:12 PM »
@Damar: agreed. Obviously we can't know all the circumstances of this relationship, but from what we know it sounds problematic at best.
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Offline koko_99_2001

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Re: To all the ladies Of Tsl forums need advice
« Reply #18 on: October 22, 2011, 07:16:28 PM »
And a train wreck at worse :(
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Offline The Hero

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Re: To all the ladies Of Tsl forums need advice
« Reply #19 on: October 22, 2011, 08:33:05 PM »
 to address some points yes  she did have a problem drinking
yes i admit im the loving sensitive clingy at times but she can also be abusive 
she really is a good girl its the distance i think and when we fought i may have called her some things i shouldn't have in her drunken state she manged  to send me a song
 i may be dense but what  could this mean besides the obvious want you here massage shes in china abd cab only visit a short time we had a fight she left got drunk and ya
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