Stupid things you have said or heard

[Rosella]

Misheard lyrics from the bus:

"When all you gotta keep is strong, mow the lawn, mow the lawn, like I know you do."

"She's a sexy cow."

Bonus points if you can find out the actual songs.

[Petra Rocks]

 "The popcorn seeds are sprouting."

  One of my brothers. He was right too, they got a little damp.  These sorts of things seem to happen to us. 

[Shadowfax]

Err okay, this is what I heard when I was at an airport once as well as when I briefly worked at a local shop many moons ago:

Airport: "I didn't like Rome, it was full of ruins..."

Shop: (Lady pushes bag of opened hot-cross buns in my direction) "These hot-cross buns are not hot..."

These are not fake, these are actual quotes! 

[Delling]

A friend of mine (not Steph):"I don't know what's going on in the world: I don't have a TV."


EDIT:
This deserved posting and I was already here looking for a particular PM...


My roommate: "uhn s gd hwi dn hv iziks ohmwrk is wk"
Me: "Once more without the ice in your mouth."
roomie: "I'm so glad we don't have physics homework this week. ... and you would make a horrible dentist."
Me: "Thank you, that's the best compliment I think I've ever been paid."

[Jafar]

Don't ask.

louisiana_night: Who are you?
Kelsey: ed

[Rosella]

Maybe Spot wants a name change.

[Petra Rocks]

" Her hair was Bobby-trapped!" 

 Brother 1 to Brother 2 after Brother 2 tried to pull my sisters hair and stuck himself on a bobby-pin.  Somehow no-one had much sympathy for him. 

[Delling]

"Necessity is the mother of invention."
No, laziness is the mother of invention. They meant "Necessity is the mother of inventions to further laziness." They were just too lazy to finish it.

[Delling]

my roommate: "Your mother is cheating on your father... while this may be true... it may also not be true..."
me: "I think you covered all your bases there"

[Petra Rocks]

 "Then my cows put guns on their horns, and start to take over the universe. "

 One of the various interesting twists on the debate over the merits of horses and cows 

[Delling]

"I keep a periodic table in my pocket for just such an emergency as this!"

~a guy from SPS... they then proceeded to take out the periodic table to   look up carbon and lead... how that was supposed to settle the debate of what's in pencils...*shrugs*

[Rosella]

Graphite is a form of carbon where the atoms form sheets! That's why graphite is a good lubricant for Pinewood Derby-type cars.

Er...Stupid things, not chemistry nerds thread. Sorry about that.

"Your pineapple ate my dog!"
-Me, so this post is still on topic. ^^

[Delling]

As this is a Futurama quote, I'm not sure it should be here... meh...


"Let's conservate!"

[Pacman928]

my siss friend-

"OMG!! its pippi longstocking!!"
"no, thats the ketchup man"

it was very...........odd

[awesomeasapossum]

Me to friend: YES! 26 days till the Wii comes out!
Friend: 26 wiiks?
Me: No...26 days!
Friend: So how many wiiks is it?

[Pacman928]

in java class-

try{
{long numMilliToSleep=100;
}catch(InteruptedException e);
}

me-"hey!! thats the catch phrase!!

[Rosella]

On a sheet of guidelines on how to write a good essay:
"Avoid sophomoric efforts at humor."

Kid: What's sophomoric?
Teacher: *gives definition including the words "immature" and "stupid"*
Kid:...So shouldn't that be freshmanic?

And yes, "Kid" is a freshman.

[awesomeasapossum]

ROFL

[Pacman928]

not really.  sophomores are immature in thinking that freshmen are immature.

[Rosella]

But freshmen ARE immature...