Stupid things you have said or heard

[koko_99_2001]

So, it's not stupid, but I thought it was funny

Merlin says:
So I hear you're going to a christmas party tonight 
Cat says:
mmhmm 
Cat says:
all the Nashville company speech therapists will be there 
Merlin says:
lol 
Merlin says:
cool
Merlin says:
Not a place for a guy with a lisp to show up uninvited 
Cat says:
lol
Cat says:
or his lisp will likely be fixed that night 

[PirateKingChris]

Heh...Cute

[hercrabbiness]

I find that especially amusing, because my mom's a speech therapist.

Although the Nashville company speech therapists probably wouldn't solve anyone's speech problems at a party, they're bound to talk about it to each other:

"Did you notice that Mr. Such-and-such has a lisp?"
"Oh, what kind? A [some kind of] lisp or a [some other kind of] lisp?"
"The latter. But from the sound of it he has it mostly under control. He must have had lots of therapy..."

My mom does this ALL THE TIME after she sees someone with speech impediments.

Thanks for putting that up, Cat; it made my day!

[koko_99_2001]

lol, obviously I'm a speechy too! Awesome that your mom is one!

And it would be "Oh, what kind? A lateral lisp or a frontal lisp?"

And you're right, it would be the latter one, because it's so much easier to get under control!

[awesomeasapossum]

I heard this walking through Target the other day.

Three women (in their 20-ishes) were walking past me into greeting cards.

Woman (to another woman): "It's just so weird, ya know? I mean Your pregnant and I'm not and we're both the same age!"

[Shades2585]

I was walking through Sears when a lady picked up a hair trimming set and asked an older couple, whom she apparently didn’t know, whether a guy could shave with it? 

[awesomeasapossum]

Okay, so I was talking to a tech-support person at HP because I've been having weird battery problems with my laptop. This is what he said as the conversation was coming to a close.

Philip: Thank you.
Me: Thank you too.
Philip: It would have been a pleasure to work alongside you.

[koko_99_2001]

Funny!

[awesomeasapossum]

Great comic koko!

[racx_00]

Philip: Thank you.
Me: Thank you too.
Philip: It would have been a pleasure to work alongside you.

LOL! That is rather random, or did you know more than him?

[tessspoon]

My friend's brother is used to using whatever shampoo my friend has in her shower when he comes home from college. One day he came out and said "Megan, what kind of shampoo is this!? It doesn't work and just made my hair all greasy!" He'd tried to use a bottle of hair straightener gel as shampoo.

[awesomeasapossum]

Philip: Thank you.
Me: Thank you too.
Philip: It would have been a pleasure to work alongside you.

LOL! That is rather random, or did you know more than him?

No, not at all. I think he meant to say, It's been a pleasure working with you or something.

[MangoMercury]

This one is only funny when you bear in mind the location.

I had to go to the doctor and I was sat in the waiting room waiting for my number to be called.  A man came in and saw a woman who he obviously knew as a friend.

He came up to her and said "You're looking well."

I had to control my laughter at that point.

[PirateKingChris]

From the comments section on Mixnmojo.com, about Indy movies:(the first part being the dumb part, the second part being one of the funniest things I've read, I was literally laughing till tears came out my eyes)

elTee:
The problem with Temple of Doom had always been those children for me. It just felt lame, like I was watching Chitty Chitty Bang Bang or something. Anyway I tried to watch it again recently, and got to exactly 8 minutes into the film before I turned it off and watched something else instead. The opening, quite frankly, sucks. Then yesterday I skipped past all the crap and watched the mine cart chase, and shortly after that discovered that I didn't hate Willie Scott after all. I mean damn, she's braless for the whole second half of the film pretty much, and they are fine-looking baps. So in the end, I enjoyed myself.

The Tingler:
That infamous version of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang where the kids are enslaved, whipped and burned!

[Suzie]

Stupid things I've said.. pretty much every single thing tonight .. I blame total lack of sleep though, but even that's no excuse.

[tessspoon]

Was having lunch with a suitemate and one of her friends when the friend told her he "sees through her like translucent water"

Though I found the fact that she thought it was absolutely hilarious even funnier than what he said

[Deloria]

"We three make a good duo."

*stabs the phrase and whom said it*

[Delling]

lol... trio, the word being sought is trio... (I think I lol'd because of the trio of 's )

[Deloria]

Indeed. *sighs*

[Suzie]

Stupid thing I have heard: "It's impossible"...

Nothing within the realm of physical plausibility is impossible unless you make it so with your skepticism.