Creepy Crazy Text Adventure!

[darthkiwi]

> Sniff the kitten.

You sniff the kitten. It smells like a barbecue.

Without warning, the kitten drops something at your little bunny feet. It is a mousey toy. The kitten then purrs at you and says, "Well go on then. Do you want to play or not? If you play with me I'll tell you how to find the blue dragon and the Magical Ancient Cup-Grail of Utmost Filigree Finery of the Idiot Nymphs."

[GrahamRocks!]

-> Get mousey toy.

You nod and pick up the mousey toy in your paws. "Sure, I'll play with you!" you say to the kitten, "What shall we play? And what is your name?"

[stika]

this is one of those games where I can't play... because I suck at these things

[Deloria]

The kitten smiles widely. "We're playing...Doctor." You raise one of your bunneh eyebrows, not quite knowing whether to expect impropriety or a TARDIS. However, while you are contemplating your escape route, your accomplice pulls out a tiny stethoscope, dropping it around his neck and fits a surgical glove onto his tail. "Now we're ready! You'll be in charge of the mousey toy and make sure I don't leave it in anyone. We're going operation-hunting! I think I saw some humans out there. Do you think they'll be in need of our services?"

Mission: Try to dissuade Doctor Kitten from attempting to operate on the villainous humans who wanted to cook you earlier.
           -> Suggest looking somewhere else for humans.
           -> Tell Doctor Kitten the truth about those humans.
           -> Suggest you stop playing Doctor now.
           -> Cause a distraction using the mousey toy.

[Delling]

cause a distraction using mousey toy

You fumble about with the mousey toy before realizing that it is rather hard to manipulate while a bunny. You finally settle for tying it by its little string to your tail and hopping around with it jangling and jingling behind you. "Doctor Kitten, oh, Doctor Kitten! There seems to be a--" Doctor Kitten is having none of this silliness and swiftly removes the mousey toy before handing it back to you!

"Now, about those humans?"

           -> Suggest looking somewhere else for humans.
           -> Tell Doctor Kitten the truth about those humans.
           -> Suggest you stop playing Doctor now.
           -> Attempt a distraction with the mousey toy again, perhaps more competently.

[Deloria]

Attempt a distraction with the mousey toy again, perhaps more competently.

-> Swallow the mousey toy, forcing Doctor Cat to operate on you.
-> Hide the mousey toy and exclaim that it has been stolen and that you have to go after it.
-> Attempt to clumsily wind up the mousey toy and have it zoom off, leading you elsewhere (and hopefully away from the humans).

[darthkiwi]

> swallow the mousey toy

Taking a deep breath, you open your mouth and try to gulp down the mousey toy. This takes a few attempts because your little bunneh oesophagus takes some persuading. The kitten looks at you in confusion as you gulp, splutter and force the toy down your poor bunneh throat.

"Oh noes!" you say. "Now you'll have to operate on me to get your toy back!"

The kitten stares at you impassively. He suddenly whips out a huge box of tools: a scalpel, a circular saw, two syringes, a hacksaw and a hammer.

A hammer.

"Well well," the kitten says. "I suppose we'll have to operate. And because I have no opposable thumbs, my surgical skills are like those of a drunk person. I imagine my paws will wave about in great confusion as
I desperately try to bash my way through your ribcage. Oh well!"

--> Run.
--> Try, desperately, to vomit.
--> Run.
--> Seriously, RUN.
--> Download a surgeon simulator patch, which will improve kitteh's abilities immediately. (Note: this patch doesn't exist in real life. But let's pretend, eh?)