Kings Quest 2015

[Rock Knight]

I kind of wish KQ had been taken in a more of Game of Thrones-esque direction.

[Numbers]

I kind of wish KQ had been taken in a more of Game of Thrones-esque direction.

You know what KQ has been missing this whole time?...castration scenes.

[KatieHal]

Hah, I didn't even watch the video! Saw the title, that was enough for me.

Ee....I don't think I'd like to see a GoT-esque KQ. Too dark. Now, the direction of LotR, on the other hand, I could get behind. But GoT is just too much.

[GrahamRocks!]

I kind of wish KQ had been taken in a more of Game of Thrones-esque direction.

Uhhhhhh....

[Numbers]

Yeah, I was kidding about the castration scenes. Game of Thrones and King's Quest are polar opposites. Lord of the Rings, while family-friendly for the most part, is still pretty extreme where KQ is concerned, violence-wise. If anything, KQ is more like Narnia; young protagonists each with their own strengths and weaknesses, trying to overcome odds in a world where everything is trying to kill them. LotR's characters are mostly straight up badass one-man armies that are hard to relate to on a personal level. And the less said about GoT's cast of deviants, the better.

On a related note: the third Hobbit movie is getting an extended edition (even though it was plenty long enough as is), and it's getting an R-rating...what? The Hobbit, a kid's book, getting turned into R-rated material? Phew, at last all of those f-bombs and orc rape scenes that were totally in the book can get a visual representation.

[GrahamRocks!]

That's actually kind of a nice comparison there!

The Chronicles of Narnia was actually my first Fantasy series, so I have a certain fondness for it, both books and movies.

[Birdy]

Ugh, those Hobbit movies. Peter Jackson... we trusted you...

I must say though, the scene with Gollum was a highlight. Probably the only good thing about those movies.

[Numbers]

I liked the scene with Gollum in the first movie, the scene with Smaug in the second, and the scene with Sauron in the third. Absolutely nothing else was even remotely up to par. I never thought I'd see a battle scene more boring than the one in the second Transformers movie, but my God did the third Hobbit movie succeed in that regard.

[Birdy]

And the second.... Who's bright idea was it to turn the river scene into a 15 minute long action scene?!

[Numbers]

You know you're in trouble when the scene that looks like an amusement park ride is one of the better action scenes in the trilogy. I mean, look at the other action scenes we have to compare it to; the escape from Goblin Town and most of the titular Battle of the Five Armies looks like a video game cutscene. My favorite action scenes were the White Council vs. Sauron in the third movie (happened, but not in the book) and Legolas vs. Bolg in the second movie (never happened at all). That's the best we got. That's the low standard those movies set. I genuinely feel bad for those who went into the third movie expecting to see another battle as epic as the one in the middle of Return of the King. It baffles me that the movies have IMDB ratings as high as they do. Then again, IMDB is a quagmire of idiot fanboys anyways (just look at the undeservedly high scores for piss-poor movies like Avatar and The Dark Knight Rises).

[Rock Knight]

The Hobbit movies were very poor adaptations of the book (the '77 animated version I think succeeds in that respect), but are great fantasy films.

[Birdy]

Oooh, the 77 animated one was the best! It's probably just nostalgia, but I watched that before I even knew what Lord of the Rings was. Funny how a cheap, low budget little animated movie that's nearly 40 years old (and by Rankin/Bass, seriously) makes a better adaptation than a big name director and a big studio practically throwing money at it.

[Numbers]

It would have been great if the second Hobbit movie ended with that song from the '77 cartoon playing during the end credits.

Smaug: I am fire. I am death.

Bilbo: ...what have we done?

*end credits start rolling*

Singer (voice stuttering throughout): The greeeeaaaatest adventure is what lies aheeeeeaaaad...

The mood whiplash that resulted from that would've hospitalized millions of people.

[GrahamRocks!]

 

[Birdy]

Ffffft 

[Rock Knight]

I'm still miffed they didn't include the "Fifteen Birds in Five Fir Trees" song sung by the Goblins. That's a badass song right there, and I'm not being sarcastic.

[Birdy]

Well, I guess more upbeat songs in big budget flicks aren't quite marketable enough. Or the goblins were just to awesome to do that or something. Also, is it just me, or were there just far too many completely CGI characters in those movies? Beorn, all the orcs, Billy Connolly dwarf?! Seriously, that was creepy.

[Numbers]

I'll give them a pass for Gollum, Smaug and Sauron, since they all kind of had to be CG. They had no such excuse for the orcs, all of whom could have easily been played by stunt doubles wearing makeup much like in the first trilogy. They also didn't need the stone giants to be in there at all, the Goblin King was way too big, and the special effects for the giant eagles were somehow worse than they were in the original trilogy. For that matter, the entirety of the third Hobbit movie looked much faker than anything in LotR. Those trolls, the wide shots of the armies, that giant moose Thranduil was riding, the bats, the Dune worms...dear God, everything looked so bad. And what was up with the Nazgul's new appearance? The ominous hooded figures in LotR were just fine, they didn't have to turn them into Dark Souls monsters.

[GrahamRocks!]

Sauron had to be CGI? 

[Birdy]

Gollum looked awesome, Smaug looked pretty cool, Sauron....

Sauron didn't need to be there.