TSL - Cease and Desist
Started by ShinyKnight, August 04, 2004, 05:12:03 AM
QuoteOldbushie Aeridus Jafo says:wowOldbushie Aeridus Jafo says:you are such a woman right nowOldbushie Aeridus Jafo says:rowr X3
Quote from: Delling on May 21, 2008, 07:41:22 AM lol... ...I really did initially think you'd talked him into suicide or rather that your chats with him were far less supportive than I had thought.
QuoteBrandon: Allo, ma reine! Je suis retourneFreya: Hello again. Comment ça va? Brandon: ca va bien, et toi?Freya: Bien, merci. How was lunch? Brandon: all right... there were mashed sweet potatoes... I'm still divided in my opinion on them Freya: On sweet potatoes or on their being mashed? Brandon: on their being mashed Freya: I'd not be sure about that either. Brandon: how did your bothering of Petra go? Freya: It's going well. We're discussing a certain chronicle which claims that, while Charlamagne was fighting the Saxons "This was witnessed by a large number of people, both inside and outside, many of whom are still alive today; and they say that they saw the likeness of two shields, red in colour and flaming and moving to and fro over the church.". Brandon: :expression of disbelief: Freya: Yes. We're discussing what it may have been and if the rest of the chronicle is now trustworthy, since we both blame the rumour mill. Brandon: ah... yes, the trustworthiness of old chronicles is a rather ubiquitous problemFreya: Though I did suggest it might have been a particularly vivid irridescent cloud. At first anyway It is. Brandon: around sunset, that might be a more rational explanation that is to say: "if it had been around sunset..."Freya: I believe it was, but I'd have to check again. How has your afternoon gone? Brandon: the usual... a little trek across campus to the parking deck and then waiting around at the car to go home... not much to say really :-/Freya: Ah . Brandon: is playing with Velcro at the momentaww... my brother took away the toy and is playing with him nowFreya: Aww. Brandon: Velcro... is grooming himselfFreya: Of course he is. And ignoring the toy, despite the desperate attempts of mere humans to please him. Brandon: yes that's ityou know, back on Charlemagne and the Saxons, it could have been two shield shaped clouds at sunset (not unlike the Grail shaped beacon of Castle Anthrax)Freya: It could have been, yes. Or perhaps just two shield-shaped objects set afire and thrown into the air. Possibly real shields, which had caught fire in the struggle. Brandon: it was a prank played by initiates at the nearby monasteryFreya: Brandon: they never dreamed that it would make it into the history booksFreya: They must have been so proud. Brandon: they were... until the abbot found out...Freya: Were they expelled? Brandon: that unfortunately did not make it into the history booksFreya: They were probably too ashamed and blackmailed their former fellow initiates into omitting it from the tale. Brandon: perhaps they chanced upon some discovery (monks always seem to be doing this) and paid off their former fellows with itFreya: They do indeed...perhaps they could even buy their way back into the monastery. (though, if memory serves, I believe they had to give up all personal property upon becoming initiates)Brandon: in which case the discovery rightly belongs to the monastery... but being expelled, they might threaten to renounce their vow of poverty and keep their acquired secrets for themselvesFreya: Perhaps they found Aristotle's Second Book Of Poetics. Indeed. Brandon: or Archimedes' work with infinitesimalsFreya: Indeed. Or perhaps the Sforza Hours. A few centuries premature though that is. Brandon: well... they'd be let back in immediately for that to be sure XPFreya: Indeed. Perhaps they could even prove that the monks stole from the local nobility. Brandon: maybe that's where they got the shields in the first placeFreya: In which case the monastery would be burned, the abbot sacked (or killed) and the initiates left to divide the property amongst themselves before it got seized. Brandon: Freya: Exactly. Maybe they were only borrowing the shields. And so the abbot got irate not at the initiates, but at the nobility. Brandon: thus saving the initiates from trouble Freya: Almost. The abbot then stole some of the noble's most valuable treasures in retaliation and blamed it on the initiates Who were then kicked out only indirectly because of the shield business. Brandon: and this is a very thorough abbot XPFreya: He is. Brandon: so, it might have been initiates from the local monastery (later dealt with by this most thorough of abbots), shield-shaped clouds at sunset, a particularly iridescent cloud, oo! the Northern Lights!, or nothing at all... maybe...Freya: Indeed. I'm fondest of the initiate idea. Perhaps we should re-write the chronicle in that cynical fashion. Brandon: ... better that we annotate it to that effect: marginalia and scholia are sometimes given higher priority than the actual text Freya: All right. http://www.deremilitari.org/resources/sources/charlemagne1.htm The second one. We could also pick at the rest of it. I was thinking about the Saxon siege-engines in particular. Brandon: this portion: "For since they were unable to deceive the defenders in this castrum by assurances as they had done those in the other castellum, they began to array their troops for battle and to prepare the siege-machinery so that they could capture the fortress by main force; but by God's will the catapults which they had set up did more harm to them than to those within the fortress."Freya: For example. Brandon: maybe whenever they say "by God's will" and the like it could be replaced with monastic initiatesFreya: By the will of monastic initiates? Brandon: by the pranks of monastic initiatesFreya: Of course. And what did they do this time? Brandon: "by God's will" just sounded better in practice... and after all (the writer reasons) monastic initiates are an extension of God's willFreya: A very reasonable explanation indeed. And the chronicler had to bring God into it every so often, or he would have been thought a pagan. Brandon: and that was a rather dangerous thing to be thought to beFreya: It was indeed. He might even have been thought a Saxon. Brandon: Oh my... that won't do at all..."I'll have to work Him in more often" (the writer thinks) Freya: And so, the chronicler reluctantly struck out "by the pranks of monastic initiates" and inserted "by God's will". Brandon: yes... he had to think first: which parts should I replace with God's action... of course! the monastic initiates!Freya: It's only an extension of the truth, really. Brandon: that's what he kept telling himselfFreya: He had to justify it somehow. Brandon: though he felt it a shame to discredit the initiates... ...but then when he heard of the thoroughness of the abbot, he felt better about itFreya: Indeed, more pressure would only have been put on the abbot to punish them if more had known. Brandon: yes, and so, ultimately, it was a great relief to the writer's conscience that he had not indicated them...Freya: It was. The initiates were so indebted, that they shared their treasure with him. Brandon: and they all had a laugh for old times' sake... with some booby trapped catapults that threw flaming shields straight up in the air Freya: Exactly! Brandon: and so the mysteries of history are unfolded and it is revealed the great part that monastic initiates truly played Freya: We are forever indebted to them. Brandon: we just didn't know how much! Freya: After all, if they'd not inspired Charlamagne's troops with such awe, then the Saxons might have won and changed the borders and histories of all lands since! Brandon: and that would be a grave lost to history in deed... it just wouldn't be the same XPFreya: Indeed not. And Histeria! would have to be rewritten...Brandon: imagine how shakespeare would change... the nature of his works might change such that it would be harder to set their descriptions to song Freya: Indeed so. And the WOTR might never have occured, in which case there would be no Tale of the Tudors. Brandon: and perhaps no Good Queene Bess... oh, what a loss to us all that would be!
QuoteFreya: Indeed! After all, perhaps the Western Franks would have taken after the Saxons and rebelled against Charlamagne! In which case, there would have been no Capetian dynasty and no Norman invasion at all. :OBrandon: *thinks himself wrong to take solace in the relief such a history offers Anglo-Saxon and would very deeply the English history we have*Freya: It would have influenced the history of the known world. Except possibly for Asia...but they were always rather secluded until a few centuries ago and with the exception of the Golden Horde. Brandon: yes... well, China had its very intriguing exploratory push... after which, they closed their borders... our world would be very different if they hadn't...Freya: IndeedBrandon: I do wonder about what they found... perhaps they ran afoul of a tribe practicing human sacrifice and decided the world was best left aloneFreya: It would be interesting to know. I wonder why they just closed off though?They were so far advanced.Or...maybe it was just Europe which was so terribly behind. Brandon: I guess they decided the rest of the world wasn't ready for them yet Freya: What snobs. The monastic initiates could have made lightening them up a next task. Brandon: Freya: brbBrandon: of courseFreya: Back, so sorry. Brandon: no problemFreya: We could try Bede. His works feature "miracles". Brandon: ... which is rather unknown science? and the work of mountebanks and street merchants? (or monastic initiates who have toiled long over makeshift chemistry sets)Freya: Unknown science, mostly. But I imagine we can work monastic initates into it quite well. And the mysterious way prayers work when in a raging (grossly exaggerated) tempest. Which was, doubtless, the work of malevolent demons. Brandon: in what mysterious way did they work? eyes curiouslyFreya: They readily complied with the request and commands of the holy Church, and putting to sea, sailed half way over from Gaul to Britain with a fair wind. There on a sudden they were obstructed by the malevolence of demons, who were jealous that such men should be sent to bring back the Britons to the faith. They raised storms, and darkened the sky with clouds. The sails could not bear the fury of the winds, the sailors' skill was forced to give way, the ship was sustained by prayer, not by strength, and as it happened, their spiritual commander and bishop, being spent with weariness, had fallen asleep. Then the tempest, as if the person that opposed it had given way, gathered strength, and the ship, overpowered by the waves, was ready to sink. Then the blessed Lupus and all the rest awakened their elder, that he might oppose the raging elements. He, showing himself the more resolute in proportion to the greatness of the danger, called upon Christ, and having, in the name of the Holy Trinity, sprinkled a little water, quelled the raging waves, admonished his companion, encouraged all, and all unanimously fell to prayer. The Deity heard their cry, the enemies were put to flight, a calm ensued, the winds veering about applied themselves to forward their voyage, and having soon traversed the ocean, they enjoyed the quiet of the wished for shore. A multitude flocking thither from all parts, received the priests, whose coming had been foretold by the predictions even of their adversaries. For the wicked spirits declared what they feared, and when the priests afterwards expelled them from the bodies they had taken possession of, they made known the nature of the tempest, and the dangers they had occasioned, and that they had been overcome by the merits and authority of the saints. Sorry. didn't realise it would be so longBrandon: full screens no problems oh my this account is rather slanted... it is very obvious that the writer is attempting to parrot Christ calming the storm and sea on the Sea of GalileeFreya: It is. AFTER this, a certain man, who had the quality of a tribune, came forward with his wife, and presented his blind daughter, ten years of age, for the priests to cure. they ordered her to be set before their adversaries, who, being convinced by guilt of conscience, joined their entreaties to those of the child's parents, and besought the priests that she might be cured. The priests, therefore, perceiving their adversaries to yield, made a short prayer, and then Germanus, full of the Holy Ghost, invoked the Trinity, and taking into his hands a casket with relics of saints, which hung about his neck, applied it to the girl's eyes, which were immediately delivered from darkness and filled with the light of truth. The parents rejoiced, and the people were astonished at the miracle; after which, the wicked opinions were so fully obliterated from the minds of all, that they ardently embraced the doctrine of the priests. Brandon: (translation: he gave her his glasses)Freya: This is, by far, the most amusing chat I've had all year. Brandon: I'm glad your enjoying it... I'm a little annoyed with Bede... he reads like a tele-evangelist... the sort that bring people up on stage to BE HEALEDFreya: "AS they were returning from thence, Germanus fell and broke his leg, by the contrivance of the Devil, who did not know that, like Job, his merits would be enhanced by the affliction of his body."Brandon: (they always seem to shout that bit)(translation: the bed rest thus acquired helped him recuperate a lot... and it was more of a sprain really)Freya: And yes, I agree about Bede. Brandon: well... I guess past generations had to have their tele-evangelists and infomercials too... they just didn't have the decency to use as transient of a medium as we do Freya: Indeed. At least only very few could read it. Most could just ignore it that way.
QuoteBrandon: much like changing the channel... that must be it really... there was no protection really against bad writing: writing in itself was good enoughFreya: Indeed. No cure at all...those poor people. Brandon: yes... thankfully we now have the publishing community to stand between people and the massesFreya: Whilst he was thus detained some time in the same place by illness, a fire broke out in a cottage neighbouring to that in which he was; and having burned down the other houses which were thatched with reed, was carried on by the wind to the dwelling in which he lay. The people all flocked to the prelate, entreating that they might lift him in their arms, and save him from the impending danger. He, however, rebuked them, and relying on faith, would not suffer himself to be removed. The multitude, in despair, ran to oppose the conflagration; however, for the greater manifestation of the Divine power, whatsoever the crowd endeavoured to save, was destroyed; but what he who was disabled and motionless occupied, the flame avoided, sparing the house that gave entertainment to the holy man, and raging about on every side of it; whilst the house in which he lay appeared untouched, amid the general conflagration. The multitude rejoiced at the miracle, and praised the superior power of God.Indeed. I would suggest a passing cloud rained on his cottage. Heavily. Brandon: well, you see, the sprain had healed... and he spent his time, whilst the townspeople weren't around, running around drenching the house with water..he couldn't let them see him doing this...Freya: Which is why he resisted their attempts to pick him up.,Brandon: then he would miss out on the staying in bed and breakfasts in bed and lunch... and dinner... and all the fawning attention for being so courageous and faithful Freya: He didn't want them to see that his leg had healed Brandon: exactlyFreya: Maybe he even started the fire. Just to "prove" that his house wouldn't be affectedBrandon: that sounds overly conniving... though at the moment... I might not put it past Bede besides sneaking around town would be pretty risky... people might find his bed empty or see him up and aboutFreya: Indeed. Perhaps he had a monastic initiate do it! Brandon: that's it!Villager: What'ya doin'?Initiate: Burnin' stuff.Villager: Why?Initiate: *beaming* I'm an initiate.Villager: o... 'kaaaay.Freya: We must post this chat later. Brandon: Freya: If you have no objection. Brandon: none... and I had no idea that Christian historians took such liberties :rollseyes:Freya: Nor I. It is impossible to relate what Christ wrought by his servant, what wonders the sick man performed: for whilst he would suffer no medicines to be applied to his distemper, he one night saw a person in garments as white as snow, standing by him, who reaching out his hand, seemed to raise him up, and ordered him to stand boldly upon his feet; from which time his pain ceased, and he was so perfectly restored, that when the day came on, he, without any hesitation, set forth upon his journey. Our theory is given even more support. Brandon: indeed... if any fever accompanied the sprain, it seems to have also caused hallucinations Freya: Brandon: Bede must have marvelled at how his subject matter was able to drench the house in water while on a broken leg... ...he missed the "I told them it was broken... but I think it was probably just a sprain"Bede suffered from that epidemic of selective hearingFreya: A terrible handicap. But yes, he must have been awed by the divine power of such miracle. Brandon: yes... so many documenters seem to have this issueyou know... there's no treatment... I don't know why... maybe there is and people just won't take itFreya: Perhaps they don't know they suffer from it. Brandon: I think they won't believe anyone who tells them they have it... oh, no, they don't hear it! It's their condition!Freya: What a terrible vicious circle. Brandon: indeed... very disturbing...:shakes head: it's such a shame reallyFreya: It is. Brandon: I mean... take Bede for instance... in an age with so few writers, he just happens to have this condition... such a wasteFreya: Indeed. It's odd how the yellow journalism is always most famous. To compare very badly. Brandon: Freya: I've found more hallucinations. Brandon: Freya: IT happened quite the contrary with one in the province of the Mercians, whose visions and words, and also his behavior, were neither advantageous to others nor to himself. In the reign of Coenred, who succeeded Ethelred, there was a layman in a military employment, no less acceptable to the king for his worldly industry, than displeasing to him for his private neglect of himself. The king often admonished him to confess and amend, and to forsake his wicked courses, before he should lose all time for repentance and amendment by a sudden death. Though frequently warned, he despised the words of salvation, and promised he would do penance at some future time. In the meantime, falling sick he was confined to his bed, and began to feel very severe pains. The king coming to him (for he loved the man), earnestly exhorted him, even then, before death, to repent of his offences. He answered, "He would not then confess his sins, but would do it when he was recovered of his sickness, lest his companions should upbraid him of having done that for fear of death, which he had refused to do in health." He thought he then spoke very bravely, but it afterwards appeared that he had been miserable deluded by the wiles of the Devil.The distemper still increasing, when the king came again to visit and instruct him, he cried out with a lamentable voice, "What will you have now? What are ye come for? for you can no longer do me any good." The king answered, "Do not talk so; behave yourself like a man in his right mind." "I am not mad," replied he, "but I have now all the guilt of my wicked conscience before my eyes." - "What is the meaning of that? " rejoined the king. "Not long since," said he, "there came into this room two most beautiful youths, and sat down by me, the one at my head and the other at my feet. One of them produced a very small and most curious book, and gave it me to read; looking into it, I there found all the good actions I had ever done in my life written down, and they were very few and inconsiderable. They took back the book and said nothing to me. Then, on a sudden, appeared an army of wicked and deformed spirits, encompassing this house without, and filling it within. Then he, who, by the blackness of his dismal face, and his sitting above the rest, seemed to be the chief of them, taking out a book horrid to behold, of a prodigious size, and of almost insupportable weight, commanded one of his followers to bring it to me to read. Having read it, I found therein most plainly written in black characters, all the crimes I ever committed, not only in word and deed, but even in the least thought; and he said to those men in white, who sat by me, 'Why do you sit here, since you most certainly know that this man is ours?' They answered, 'You are in the right; take and add him to the number of the damned.' This said, they immediately vanished, and two most wicked spirits rising, with forks In their hands, one of them struck me on the head, and the other on the foot. These strokes are now with great torture penetrating through my bowels to the inward parts of my body, and as soon as they meet I shall die, and the devils being ready to snatch me away I shall be dragged into hell."
Quote from: PirateKingChris on June 14, 2009, 03:04:08 PMYou think that's strange? You don't wanna know what I chatted about last night...
Quote from: Deloria on June 15, 2009, 04:30:59 AMNot strange, just awesome and amusing. And this is the only chat thread we have.
QuoteDavid: How was your day? Deloria: I was kidnapped and made to watch a sparkling vampire making out with a very dull and inarticulate girl. I hate this generation and want out. XPDavid: What?!?! XPDeloria: A friend pulled me on to the wrong train and insisted I go see Twilight with her so she could reform me. I've never had such a dull afternoon. David: I see. Deloria: Though window-shopping was fun. David: Sounds rather unpleasant. Deloria: Very. David: Woot. Deloria: Sorry. David: It's fine. Deloria: She wouldn't let me leave. David: It's really fine. I'm just glad you are alright. Deloria: If you can call "scarred for life" all right. David: Indeed. I'll do my best to help you recover. Deloria: I think I bothered everyone by sniggering at the sheer stupidity throughout the entire film. And the romance scenes were painfully awkward and stilted and the movie was just horrible in every way. XP How can 90% of all females be so daft? XPDavid: I have no idea. Deloria: They'll all win Darwin Awards anyway, so I guess we'll be fine soon enough. David: You wish. Deloria: Oh yes, just what I want, more men throwing themselves at me because 90% of the former female population seems to have mysteriously died. David: You think males are smarter? Deloria: Well, they probably won't wait around until they're beyond childbearing years for sparkling vampires to find and marry them and thus automatically take themselves out of the gene pool.
Quote from: Deloria on November 29, 2009, 12:39:29 PMI don't know...I think the books ruined Twilight.