A small bit of feedback

[Tage]

Greetings!

I had been up all night, and I didn't want to go to sleep...so I came here to post a small bit of feedback.  Forgive me if I sound like a complete mindless idiot.  (Which is probably the state I am in at the moment from staying up all night)  However, please take me as serious as my message allows me to be. 

Let me start off by saying you all are doing a great job on this project, and The Silver Lining is the only thing I'm looking forward to next year. 

There was just something that caught my eye in one of the preview screenshots...
http://media.pc.gamespy.com/media/689/689584/img_3275088.html
^^^ That one to be exact.
The dialogue says "Narrator: The mysterious cloak wore by the evil stranger emanates nothing but bad vibes."
It caught my attention because the sentence doesn't flow.  When I think of it, the dialogue flows better in my mind when read like "Narrator: The mysterious cloak, worn by the evil stranger, emanates nothing but bad vibes,"
or depending on the tense, "Narrator: The mysterious cloak, previously worn by the evil stranger, emanates nothing but bad vibes."

Please do not misunderstand my point of view.  I'm not trying to be a stickler, and I'm not bashing on the team because a sentence, in my opinion, doesn't "flow."  I'm not bashing on them at all.  ;D  I don't know if this has or has not been through the proof-reading process yet; however, let me explain why it is important to me--even the tiniest of spelling or grammatical errors.

When I play games heavily reliant on stories, I get completely immersed in them.  This is, of course, the ideal objective when creating a story-based game (I would assume  ).  Getting the player to actually feel as if they are in the world or if they are even the character himself (or herself) gives them the full effect of what the author of the story was trying to portray to them. [I'm getting sleepy, my sentences might get a bit ...unflowing-like(sp? har har har)] But when I'm reading a dialogue, and I'm completely immersed in a game, 1 spelling or grammatical mistake is all it takes for my mind to stop the flow of thought and imagination and start thinking about what the writers were trying to say.  By the time, whether it be 200 milliseconds or 10 seconds, my mind figures it out, it's already too late.  My mind was drawn back into the real world so that it could remember all the words and grammatical structures it knows in hopes of understanding what was going on.  After it's drawn back into the real world, it thinks about who wrote that line in the game.  Then my mind trails off for a bit and all the emotions and thoughts I had in the game are lost.  The gaming experience for that moment in time was ruined by 1 little spelling or grammatical error.

That's why I find it important for games, heavily based on the player reading dialogues, to always flow.  When a game keeps me immersed until the very end, it's categorized in my mind as a great game; however, there have been many games that I just didn't want to continue playing because of many spelling and grammatical errors.

Anyway, I'm about to pass outttttttttttttttttttttttttttt iiiiarf jn

[koko_99_2001]

Well, I think there's probably a logical reason as to why there may be grammatical errors in some of the screenshots. I wouldn't worry about it. I'm sure those will be fixed before the game comes out

[franzrogar]

If I'm right, I want remember that those screenshots were taken from the demo shown to VUG. I want remember too that they only had 2 weeks to mix them all into a working demo. So, I'm almost sure if it's not fixed now, the finished game will be in a perfect english (or american, dunno what's the official language). 

[Rosedragon]

I think the team will fix all grammar and spelling errors before the game comes out. It will be a while before this game comes out. I'm sure they will make sure the game has good English.

[Rosella]

I'm sure the script has been checked infinately.

[KatieHal]

Hi Tage,

I can assure you, the script has been edited, read and edited again, by myself and Cesar personally! Yonkey also checked that particular line, and it looks like it was just entered with a typo when it was typed up on the website is all.

Nice attention to detail though!

But I can also assure you, having been an English major, who focused heavily on writing, I've made sure everything is proofread in our script. And both Cesar and I know how important not only the story is, but also that it's told correctly and written correctly. I'm big on spelling and grammatical errors being corrected. Just ask Cez, he sends some things that aren't even related to TSL to me on occassion to double-check.

But thanks for the attentive feedback, too!

[Yonkey]

Yonkey also checked that particular line, and it looks like it was just entered with a typo when it was typed up on the website is all.

It was actually a typo by the person that inputted that line into the game. I thought he copy & pasted it, but I guess he typed that one out.  He now knows about it and it will be fixed.

[Rosella]

*ponders the grammar in the sentence "I can assure you, the script has been edited, read and edited again, by myself and Cesar personally!"*

I'm having a myself issue, but maybe that's just me.

EDIT: Ok, my mom's having a myself issue too.

[KatieHal]

...I'm less formal on forums. 

[Rosella]

Maybe I should, ya know, help proofread the script too, just in case!

[awesomeasapossum]

...YEAH! Me too....

[Say]

Right....

[Rosella]

What? I can help! Honestly!