The "myself" thing is something even people I respect do, and it makes me sad.

The object of a preposition is always the oblique. You cannot say "It caused a rift between he and I." "Between" is a preposition, therefore you would say "between him and me."
The proper way to say that the person on the phone is indeed speaking to the person they requested is "This is she," because "is" requires the nominative case, like Deloria said.

Never use "myself" to sound important.

Typically, you would need to put "me" where you'd put "myself," but I've heard of some very grating examples where "Myself and Donna will be answering any questions."
EDIT: Also, lolspeak is entirely acceptable because it is adorable.