Bad Line

[RollingStone]

Overall, I thought the demo was great, but there's one thing that I have to get off my chest. Graham's line when he's talking to Oberon and Titania about "Tragedy" goes something like "It's hard to believe that this day began so happily, only to end in such tragedy." This stuck out for me as a really bad line. It's way too "technical." No one talks like
this, not even in fantasies. You should alter it to something like "I thought this was going to be the happiest day of our lives, and now THIS."

Just a thought.

[Yonkey]

What do you mean by "technical"?  I don't really see much difference between the line said in the game, and the new one you're proposing.

[Storm]

I think what she means is that Graham's calling what happened 'tragedy' makes him seem too distant when talking about it. Usually when other people refer to someone else's misfortune, they call it 'tragedy', but it's not the word you'd expect from someone who just had something horrible happen to them

[chucklas]

I agree that this isn't the greatest line (for an actual conversation), but at the same time, dialogue in games is more than just people talking to each other.  It is essential to move the plot of the game.  I feel as though it fits right into adventure gaming dialogue.  In real life people wouldn't repeat the same thing word for word when spoken to a second time, but in adventure gaming it happens. 

[samthunder]

I agree.  I think the line is ok.

[Angelic_Sabyne]

Maybe it's my theatrical side showing, but I personally like that line.  It really shows the drama of what had occurred, as well as giving a peek into Graham's current emotional state.  To me, as strong as he is, he seems as though he is still in some state of shock.  After all, his own children have had a curse laid upon them.  In that scenario, who wouldn't be affected somehow?

[NemelChelovek]

I agree with RollingStone, personally. In response to Yonkey's "not much difference" comment, the difference isn't in the meaning of the two lines but in the effect. The line as currently written is a very matter of fact, "Here's what happened and what you need to know" line; it's not phrased in a way that evokes a shocked, grieving father. The way RollingStone phrased it sounds much more natural and characteristic of the mood and circumstances.

[Cez]

I guess I should have replied to this a year ago, but I didn't lol

It's never late to though!

While that line may seem cold and distant and not what you would say in these cases... then again, you are not a King talking to other royalty. The way I wrote Graham up, from seeing him in previous games, is that he has the ability to go as high and formal to very casual in conversations because of not being exactly of royal blood, but having been trained as a Knight with high respect for his superiors.

So, although Graham is indeed a father, and he has a soft part to him, he's also a King, and as a King, he keeps his distance and his fortitude. If he's to make things better, he can't allow himself to be weak or personally affected by the tragedy --especially not to other royalty, parents of Edgar or not.

So I think the line suits Graham.

[Haids1987]

The way I wrote Graham up, from seeing him in previous games, is that he has the ability to go as high and formal to very casual in conversations because of not being exactly of royal blood, but having been trained as a Knight with high respect for his superiors.

Well spoken, César.  When you put it that way it's hard to argue.