Author Topic: shy people club  (Read 22103 times)

Offline Yonkey

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Re: shy people club
« Reply #60 on: April 22, 2008, 09:26:30 PM »
I'm not shy, and I don't have a problem with depending on others for advice or opinions. I keep everything to myself in regards to feelings etc.
You won't see it as a problem, because that's how you function.  In your case, it would be more of a problem if you never relied on others for any advice or opinions. 

What I meant before is that it's more a problem for someone else depending on you, because whether that person knows it or not, they're actually depending on you and one or more other people.  But, just to clarify, I'm not saying all extroverts depend on others for everything either.  I'm sure you have to make your own decisions at times, and disagree with the opinion of others as well, just like introverts do.

It's more just the whole notion of there being this extra level of dependency.  To give some examples from my childhood: "There's no way I can be friends with X because Y hates him/her", "I can't tell Z that because they'll tell T", "If I give Q that, I'll need to give S one as well", "I can't hang out with R because Y needs me more" etc.  You basically have so many relationships dependant on you, that you end up being controlled by them.

With introverts, they'll do something because they want to or like to, and that's it.  Or they won't do something because "everyone will think something".  It's very rare for them to be influenced by peer pressure, or conform to mainstream and be like everyone else, because there's no social benefit in doing so.  Trying to be something you're not, simply doesn't work.  It makes you blend in with the crowd better, but it doesn't make you feel any better internally.  Introverts care more about the latter.
« Last Edit: April 22, 2008, 09:34:54 PM by Yonkey »
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Offline Tage7

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Re: shy people club
« Reply #61 on: April 22, 2008, 09:39:01 PM »
I agree with that. :suffer:

Offline Suzie

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Re: shy people club
« Reply #62 on: April 23, 2008, 01:55:33 AM »
With introverts, they'll do something because they want to or like to, and that's it.  Or they won't do something because "everyone will think something".  It's very rare for them to be influenced by peer pressure, or conform to mainstream and be like everyone else, because there's no social benefit in doing so.  Trying to be something you're not, simply doesn't work.  It makes you blend in with the crowd better, but it doesn't make you feel any better internally.  Introverts care more about the latter.

I really agree with that. And I can really relate as well due to a situation I'm in at the moment. Dependency will only make it harder and harder for you to deal with life on your own. Yay for introvertedness. 8)


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Offline waltzdancing

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Re: shy people club
« Reply #63 on: April 23, 2008, 09:32:24 AM »
I am very shy and making friends for me is extremely difficult. I also hate to stand up in front of my college classes and give a presentation. Just the thought of millions of eyes on me is nerve punishing. Even just thinking about it makes me squirm.

Offline Carla

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Re: shy people club
« Reply #64 on: April 23, 2008, 09:45:45 AM »
^^ I'm the same way.
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Offline Suzie

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Re: shy people club
« Reply #65 on: April 23, 2008, 09:53:27 AM »


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Offline tessspoon

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Re: shy people club
« Reply #66 on: April 23, 2008, 10:22:20 AM »
Me four.

Offline racx_00

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Re: shy people club
« Reply #67 on: April 23, 2008, 10:32:45 AM »
I'm not shy, and I don't have a problem with depending on others for advice or opinions. I keep everything to myself in regards to feelings etc.
You won't see it as a problem, because that's how you function.  In your case, it would be more of a problem if you never relied on others for any advice or opinions. 
Ok, I said that wrong. What I meant is I never go to anyone for advice, I rely on myself. I never ask anyone for opinions or advice, I work internally that way.

I'm actually on the fence 49% Introverted and 51% Extraverted.
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Offline Yonkey

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Re: shy people club
« Reply #68 on: April 23, 2008, 09:09:32 PM »
I hated giving presentations more than exams. :P

I'm actually on the fence 49% Introverted and 51% Extraverted.
LOL!  That's pretty much 50/50 (like myself), which explains why you're an exception. :P  The previous generalization I made applies more to people who are 75% or higher extroverted.
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Offline tessspoon

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Re: shy people club
« Reply #69 on: April 23, 2008, 09:26:58 PM »
Apparently when I was real little, like < 5, I wouldn't shut up and wasn't shy at all, didn't mind walking up to random strangers and chatting with them in the least. Then I learned to read... :P

Course, back then I was also super hyper / bouncing off the walls all the time, which is also a total 360 compared to what I'm like now. :P

Offline PirateKingChris

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Re: shy people club
« Reply #70 on: April 24, 2008, 03:47:20 PM »
I probably DO have those problems with my family and close friends, I'd do anything for them. And I am 50/50 as well.
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Offline racx_00

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Re: shy people club
« Reply #71 on: April 27, 2008, 09:14:44 AM »
I hated giving presentations more than exams. :P
I hate both equally. :P
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Offline waltzdancing

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Re: shy people club
« Reply #72 on: April 27, 2008, 09:23:07 PM »
I hated giving presentations more than exams. :P
I hate both equally. :P
I hate both of them too, but I think exams are easier because you can be prepaired for it if you studied. Presentations can go south in a blink of an eye and you have no control.

Offline PirateKingChris

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Re: shy people club
« Reply #73 on: April 27, 2008, 09:25:13 PM »
Presentations 173% worse than exams. I LOATHE public speaking.
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Offline waltzdancing

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Re: shy people club
« Reply #74 on: April 27, 2008, 09:30:10 PM »
Actually, in one of the textbooks, I read that the number one thing people are afraid of is speaking in front of a large group of people. The second thing people were afraid of was dying.

 ??? Interesting

Offline Yonkey

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Re: shy people club
« Reply #75 on: April 27, 2008, 09:36:15 PM »
I always had to rehearse presentations 10 or more times, partly because I had to memorize what I was going to say, but mostly because it doesn't come naturally to me to speak constantly for 5, 10 or 15 minutes straight.  Especially to large groups of people.

But it's funny... I would always be extremely nervous before having to present something, but as soon as I'm up there and speaking, the nerves vanish after the first minute or so.
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Offline waltzdancing

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Re: shy people club
« Reply #76 on: April 27, 2008, 09:42:28 PM »
I pray that I get over my fear of speaking. I hope to receive a teaching certificate for Elementary and Middle School education. I think it is sort of ironic that this was the career path I chose.

Offline tessspoon

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Re: shy people club
« Reply #77 on: April 27, 2008, 10:06:54 PM »
I have a 20-minute presentation I have to give in about a week... not so nervous about it now, but this time next week I will be. There's only 8 or 9 people in the class though plus the teacher so at least it's not a huge crowd or anything. :P

Offline PirateKingChris

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Re: shy people club
« Reply #78 on: April 27, 2008, 10:13:54 PM »
5 people or hundreds, I'd be just as nervous either way :P
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Offline Yonkey

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Re: shy people club
« Reply #79 on: April 28, 2008, 05:15:47 AM »
lol, yep.  I used to think the more people, the more scary it is.  But, when you have fewer people, they all pay closer attention. :P
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