The Magic Soda Machine 2.0

[PirateKingChris]

You get a pad.

*inserts soiled top hat*

[Elessar]

The machine pulls a soiled rabbit from the hat and hands it to you.

*Tosses in a Pep-O-Mint Lifesaver*

[Delling]

You get a genie's bottle!

*inserts lyrics*

[PirateKingChris]

You get a band playing "When The Saints Go Marching In"

*inserts grass sod*

[Haids1987]

You get one of those terra cotta pots with long grass in it that peoople get for their cats.

*Inserts a bagel*

[Yonkey]

You get cream cheese.

*inserts ice cream cake*

[Delling]

You get an upset stomach.

*inserts yet more lyrics*

[PirateKingChris]

You get a note from PirateKing full of swears for having to do this one last time 

*inserts the Vinyl Stickons*

[Haids1987]

You get a note in Brail that you don't understand.

*Inserts a roll of toilet paper*

[icarus]

you get flushed

*insirts a toy rat*

[Elessar]

You get a rat toy for your pet rat.

*Flings in a Frisbee*

[Suzie]

You get a dog, which instantly attacks you with slobbering

*inserts PirateKingChris*

[PirateKingChris]

*screams as he's inserted into the machine*
Uh I can't really insert anything, kinda stuck in here....Next!

[Yonkey]

You get a pirated version of King Chris!

*inserts car keys*

[Elessar]

The machine locks itself with your keys inside. Knowing that you cannot move your car, it conveniently prints a parking ticket. :bob:

*Inserts an expired coupon*

[Suzie]

The machine finally spits out the real PirateKingChris!

*inserts an awesome song*

[Haids1987]

You get the lyrics to an Nsync song. 

*Inserts a clean cotton-scented candle*

[PirateKingChris]

You get a tshirt that says, "I put a candle in a vending machine and all I got was this lousy tshirt"

*inserts a lock of hair*

[Suzie]

You get a wig!

*inserts a zombie*

[Yonkey]

You get Frankenstein's monster.

*inserts swimming pool*