The GOOD & BAD THREAD (VI)

[writerlove]

Why do your work moms think you need to be set up?

Hm. I unno, maybe a myriad of things. Ive been down somewhat lately so I guess they think setting me up will make me happier. And I guess you could consider me the "male" version of the "girl next door." Mothers find me to have all the qualities in a guy that some one like their daughters deserves. And you know, its nice that so many people want to set me up with all their daughters and nieces or you know the cute beer girl at the golf course but.......has anyone actually asked me what kind of girl I like? NO!!!. I feel like people are setting me up not because they think we would "be great togehter" but more so because they KNOW some one who is single. Or rather I would be a great boost of confidence for them.

I'm much more into quiet people, old souls, readers, grey area minded people instead of black or white minded folk, who don't care what others think and embrace their inner nerds. I totally heart "Kewl type of nerds" ^_^

Ah I've never been on a blind date either. I agree with you though. People should consider what qualities the person in question finds attractive before embarking on this kind of thing. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Also, on the making you happier tangent. One should have a a good sense of self and where they are in life before trying to date. If not, there's a risk of losing your whole identity because it's so invested in this other person. That happened to me and never again. I do miss that companionship and tenderness. But I'm not ready. I don't know fully who I am as an adult away from my parents and college. I need to figure that out first.

The good: I get to go on my family's vacation.
The good: All four of us will be together for Mom's birthday during said vacation
The good: This job lead is going well. We'll see where it goes.

[ladidada]

Also, on the making you happier tangent. One should have a a good sense of self and where they are in life before trying to date. If not, there's a risk of losing your whole identity because it's so invested in this other person. That happened to me and never again. I do miss that companionship and tenderness. But I'm not ready. I don't know fully who I am as an adult away from my parents and college. I need to figure that out first.

You know what, that is absolutely how I have felt for a long time. Thank you! But yeah, I haven't up for dating anyone for a long time because I haven't been....well happy with myself. I've been through a lot over the last year and I don't my happiness to be based on some one else. I made that kind of mistake before too and you can fall hard! I'm just starting to feel better ^_^ In a month, I'll be back to myself ...FINALLY.

The good: I get to go on my family's vacation.

Awesome ^_________^ Are you doing anything neat? Or just hanging around the house kind of thing?

[Haids1987]

I feel so left out. No one's ever tried to set me up with anyone.

Ah I've never been on a blind date either.

Me neither.

THE SAD: Jennica's memorial is tonight in Portland. I can't go, since it's 3 hours away from me, but they're having another one here at home on the 28th.

THE BORING: Microsoft Access. Macros, man. Good times.

THE GOOD: It's Thursday, Thursday, gotta get down on Thursday. One day left.

[writerlove]

*Nods* hopefully we both have learned from our mistake. I've had to rebuild myself in the aftermath and it's not an easy process. We are taking my grandad with us to go see my aunt uncle and cousins. We don't have anything real special planned; we just want to hang out together. Then Monday the parents, brothers and I are going to a different town to celebrate my mom's 60th. (Grandad will stay at relative's house and be brought back home later). It's her day so it'll be waterfalls and hiking and a quaint southern town. But at least we will all be together.

The tedious: Laundry.
The good: Had a good chat with my therapist today. She's figured out what most people already know about me

[Deloria]

Yeah, me too. I don't know why there's so much pressure to try to make it work. Years and years of my life wasted with not much personal growth.

You really think you didn't get much personal growth (however slow it took to learn the lessons? I dated my first love 6 different times but I learned my lessons!) But yeah, :/ Sometimes its hard seeing the way things are or recognizing our own self-deceits.

Well, I had lots and lots of personal growth the moment I realised it was over. And then I went back because I was hospitalised and I needed support. And then went on for about a year and then I freed myself and found myself in a real live relationship with someone who actually likes me.

[darthkiwi]

He likes you very very much.

[Haids1987]

THE GOOD: Coffee

THE GOOD: Friday

THE SCARY: Programming test

THE IRRITATING: Classroom door was locked, so we had to stand outside in the rain for half an hour.

[ladidada]

The last few days...*DEEP, DEEP SIGH*

The Good: I had an oddly good time with my friends this weekend whom I tend to get annoyed by much as of late.
The bad: I can't remember the last time I had a "good" first date. Can't wait to let down her mom tomorrow!!
Mom, "Is she great or what!!!"
Me, "....walk with me...." 

But, on a positive note, it was still a pretty decent, eventful weekend.

[Deloria]

What was she like?

[ladidada]

What was she like?

At first, very shy. Wouldn't look me in the eyes. Responsive talker type. Wouldn't ask me anything, only respond with short little sentences. But once she loosened up, it got a lot better. Shes into motorcycles and my little pony, fast cars, reads fantasy, likes dogs. Me, not a car person and I mostly read non-fiction things but I like dogs and I would love to ride on a motorcycle! Never done that, I could pretend I'm Gabriel Knight! But uh, when she brought up her music taste, a big red light went off. I asked her about the lyrics if she "knows how to have fun" and it didn't take long to learn she smokes pot, has a sexual lifestyle thats a turn off and dropped out of school. Something off about her, she comes off a little bit too "I'm right, you're wrong".

Drugs are always a red flag and a big NO-NO! I have a hundred horrible stories about friends and drugs. I have already lost so many of my friends from them. Just awful things.

(Posted on: April 24, 2012, 01:17:54 AM)

Oh and wasn't bad looking, not bad at all but I'll pass.

[Haids1987]

That's sad, ladida. If you lived in the Northwest I'd totally date you. Drug free, in love with My Little Pony (and I have a tattoo to show for it!), virgin, Christian.

THE BAD: Why is this classroom always freezing? They have the air conditioner on alllllllllllllllllll the time,even if it's pouring down rain or hail outside. It's uncomfortable and makes my fingers all hurtey!

[Deloria]

Does that mean she had a sex life or that she had weird, kinky fetishes and liked going to key parties? Also, I'm surprised you got into that on a first date.

(Posted on: 25 April 2012, 00:31:50)

What was she like?

she comes off a little bit too "I'm right, you're wrong".

People who are used to being judged usually do this. Though she does seem to be bad news and very high maintenance, so you probably did well.

[ladidada]

To sum it up, she's not for me.

To answer Ms. Deloria

Spoiler (mouse over to reveal):

She's bi and simply put its a turn off. Most bi folk I have known since high school tend to be way too under-sexed to stay faithful in a relationship. I have been cheated on enough.... But I suppose you could say I have  presumptively assume between the pot and bi-ness, her dropping out school and general gut feeling....that she is not in my best interest.

I might have to take you up on that offer Haids and transfer up to Seattle. I grew up in the same weather (My best memories are on rainy, cloudy days), and I believe Washington has no state income tax. Two pluses for me. Best of all, I could indulge my secret love of adventure games with somebody for once in my life!!! I have never met a person who has heard of KQ or SQ or PQ or the GK series. :/

THE GOOD: Made my 3rd contribution to the NMNH ^_^
The BAD: Rent going up 70 dollars a month for a place I hate living
THE CREEPY: Some woman was knocking on my door last night at 2:30 for 15 minutes. The heck I'm going to open up my door at 2:30 in a city life this!

[writerlove]

I might date you too, ladaida. But I live on other side of the county as Hailey does (I don't know where you live, though.) Christian, a little bit of a nerd, virgin, don't drink or do drugs. A bit intellectual. But like I said, I'm not sure I should be investigating that side right now.

The only person I know in real life who knows about adventure games is my brother who played them alongside me mostly. That's why I love it here. I don't feel like so much of a geek

The good: Had an awesome time with my family and the relatives over the weekend
The good: Mom's birthday made her happy
The good: I may have to travel to Kentucky next week for a job interview. Mom wants Dad to travel with me (since it is a 7 to 8 hour drive from here). Still, looking forward to the possibility.

[Haids1987]

I might have to take you up on that offer Haids and transfer up to Seattle. I grew up in the same weather (My best memories are on rainy, cloudy days), and I believe Washington has no state income tax. Two pluses for me. Best of all, I could indulge my secret love of adventure games with somebody for once in my life!!! I have never met a person who has heard of KQ or SQ or PQ or the GK series. :/

Well, let me know the next time you're in the area!

THE CREEPY: Some woman was knocking on my door last night at 2:30 for 15 minutes. The heck I'm going to open up my door at 2:30 in a city life this!

Ugh. That's really, REALLY creepy. Was she saying anything as she was knocking? Like, "I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE, CROSBY! JUST OPEN THE DOOR!"?

The good: I may have to travel to Kentucky next week for a job interview. Mom wants Dad to travel with me (since it is a 7 to 8 hour drive from here). Still, looking forward to the possibility.

Good luck!

[tessspoon]

The AWESOME: The defense for my Master's degree went great!
The GOOD: It's over with.
The BAD: Still have to get through the rest of Parallel and Graphics classes.

[Rosella]

To answer Ms. Deloria

Spoiler (mouse over to reveal):

She's bi and simply put its a turn off. Most bi folk I have known since high school tend to be way too under-sexed to stay faithful in a relationship. I have been cheated on enough.... But I suppose you could say I have  presumptively assume between the pot and bi-ness, her dropping out school and general gut feeling....that she is not in my best interest.

Yikes. I don't want to start a flame war here, but that sort of made me a bit sick to my stomach.

Spoiler (mouse over to reveal):

Being bisexual doesn't mean you can't get enough so you'll do it with anyone. I mean, to be perfectly honest, if a girl really wants to put herself out there, there are usually enough guys interested. But honestly, with people who are genuinely into both sexes, it's a lot like being into both brunettes and blondes. You like both, but you don't feel like, when you're with a blonde, "Man, I need some brunette lovin' on the side to keep me satisfied." I understand if you didn't think she was your type (the choices she's made seem sketchy at best), but being bisexual and having a high sex drive aren't necessarily related and honestly, neither is having a high sex drive and cheating. Bisexuality isn't a choice that people with loose morals make to get more, it's a sexual orientation.

[Deloria]

I'm totally with Kelsey on this one. I'm sorry you've had bad experiences in the past though, Ladidada.

[ladidada]

Eh!? I wasn't trying to define lifestyles or pass off negative things like that. I've just had really bad experience dating bi-people... It's not very fun hearing from my friends, " Gosh, you're like the only guy I know who loses girls--- to other girls." But yeah, rereading what I wrote, I could have taken the time to chose better words to say the least :/

But-but-but I can tell I've really offended you. So I'm sorry and sorry like you wouldn't believe. If you could see in my heart of hearts... *puppy dog face* :/

[Delling]

Firstly, this... then this, then a normal post.

Eh!? I wasn't trying to define lifestyles or pass off negative things like that. I've just had really bad experience dating bi-people... It's not very fun hearing from my friends, " Gosh, you're like the only guy I know who loses girls--- to other girls." But yeah, rereading what I wrote, I could have taken the time to chose better words to say the least :/

But-but-but I can tell I've really offended you. So I'm sorry and sorry like you wouldn't believe. If you could see in my heart of hearts... *puppy dog face* :/

It's true that in the end what was offensive was the implication that you assumed ALL bisexuals were going to be "that way" towards you (which is unfair and thus the reaction).

As for the bit I've italicized: consider this, there is a guy here in Ireland whose exes, having never said they were bi or gay before dating him, have routinely gone from dating him to dating a girl. I assure you he doesn't like his reputation for that either. But, look, this is just the reality of dealing with people: no matter how much we demand that IT REALLY IS SIMPLE: YOU'RE JUST BORN THAT WAY or whatever, it turns out that people and sex for that matter are actually really complicated. (which is to say... it's not really your fault or this other guy's fault that these girls went direct from you to other girls. It's something to do with them AND your mutual interactions.)

The AWESOME: The defense for my Master's degree went great!
The GOOD: It's over with.
The BAD: Still have to get through the rest of Parallel and Graphics classes.

Congrats!

The BAD: litreview, *grumbles*
The GOOD: I am SLOWLY adding to it
The BAD: being too distracted by life and other things to work on it properly