The Never Ending Story

[Haids1987]

...a hideously ugly baby with a Pope-like hat sitting at the doormat, hugging an equally ugly puppy who had a distinct "save me" look in his eyes.

"Uhhhh....hi?" said Alarah, rubbing her eyes to be sure that she was actually seeing what she thought.  The baby grinned toothlessly at her, a string of babble erupting from her mouth.  "Ugh enth skcn siemnw m Malicia wo usnee ncnk." 

Alarah blinked.  "Malicia?" she asked suspiciously.

[Jafar]

The baby took her hat off, and a book came sliding out of it. Alarah picked it up and started flipping through the pages.

"Let's see...Two dulcimas raised to the degree of forty halfdulcimas, divided into equal parts by the third of a cackle of grouse geese, put over the result of ten finemackels (albeit small finemackels), stretched over the total of fifty-three and an eighth bottles of wildebeast lard...."

[I_am_so_nifty]

..."indicate a fabrication or deprivation sufficiently broad enough to exacerbate..." Here, she yawned. "...the conclusions... uncovered, in due... course, with regards to the..."

With this, Alarah sulked to the ground and fell asleep. Baby Malicia then crawled into the girl's house, bumbling around with her hideous dog as though she was searching for something...