[Fill in the blank]'s King's Quest!

[theroachyjay]

"Why doesn't Graham have a sword and is lobbing the heads off of fantasy creatures while shouting obscenities?" (Note to self: idea for hilarious, non-adventure reboot.)

King's Quest: Re-imagined by JJ Abrams and James Cameron.  Shadrack opens a portal to Daventry's past, when Edward is still King, and attempts to steal three treasures while the kingdom is vulnerable.  Graham must travel into the past of this new, alternate, timeline.  With a large sword in hand, he must destroy the treasures before Shadrack gets to them.  Evil monsters and wizards from the other kingdoms start pouring in.  The result is an entirely new, action-based reboot where ANYTHING can happen because the timeline is new and fresh.  Oh, and it'll be in 3D.

[kindofdoon]

With a large sword in hand, he must destroy the treasures before Shadrack gets to them.  Evil monsters and wizards from the other kingdoms start pouring in.  The result is an entirely new, action-based reboot where ANYTHING can happen because the timeline is new and fresh.  Oh, and it'll be in 3D.

Mask of Eternity.

[Travis-AGA]

Well, almost Mask of Eternity. We're missing the obscenities.

"Tis F#@%$!#$ beyond my reach!"

[KatieHal]

LOL, I dunno, that almost sounds more like Michael Bay's King's Quest!

....okay, I just got a great idea for a fun thread that has NOTHING to do with Syberia, so I'm going to branch this one off!

[KatieHal]

So pick a director, writer, just about anyone, and tell us what their King's Quest reboot would look like!

For my pick, it's....

Michael Bay's King's Quest 2!

Graham, the hot young king of Daventry, is a lonely guy with a lonely job (played by James MacAvoy). Until the magic mirror shows him the hottest babe in an artfully torn dress he's ever laid eyes on, trapped in a tower in a strange land! (played by Angelina Jolie) Graham takes up his claymore of bad-assery and heads to war-torn Kolyma to kick some ass, slaughter some witches & monsters, witness some adolescent humor, ride a snake that transforms into a winged horse, blow up Hagatha's cave and a whole lotta other things, and finally save the girl, who's secretly also kind of kicking butt on her own but needs him to save her anyways! This--is--Michael Bay's King's Quest 2!

[Travis-AGA]

  King's Quest 1 by Mel Brooks

Starring Nathan Lane as Graham. Matthew Broderick as Cedric (who appears four games early). Mel Brooks as the Old King.

Graham wants become a King, the King of new Daventry. So, he cooks up a scheme with his fellow financial analyst (Cedric?) to secretly set forth to seek out treasures for the current King. What he plans on doing however, is making false treasures instead of discovering the real ones... So he gets all the little old ladies in town... and uh... ummm..... plays rubber ducky with them in the bathtub and gains a copious amount of funds. He and his fellow treasure producer then invest in creating the false duplicates, only to soon discover that they have been found out! The treasures were such a flop that the King sends his knights after Graham and Cedric.

Well, as it turns out, while Graham flees, he falls through the King's Quest 1 set and is chased by police, game designers, and Ken Williams out of the Sierra On-line company building and sets chaos to the real world. Eventually, he boards a real-life spaceship -- (spoiler ahead to LSL7 non-players) the same one that abducts Larry in LSL7 -- and gets wound up with some SpaceNuts who are trying to actively suck all of the treasures out of Daventry so they can survive another 100 years.

The SpaceNuts, indeed, suck the treasures from Daventry. King Graham and Cedric then take the three treasures he was originally supposed to find and flees the spaceship in an escape pod -- complete with bear-claw seat belt. He lands back in Daventry... presents the real treasures to the King... and, becomes King.

----

That was messy. But, it wouldn't be Mel Brooks if it was clean!

[wilco64256]

Quentin Tarantino's King's Quest:

Edgar shoots the black-cloaked guy in the face.

The end.

[GoneTooLong]

George Lucas' King's Quest Episode I

Graham is accompanied on his journey by an irritating non-human comic relief sidekick with an annoying voice who most of the audience simply wants to die.

Hey, wait a minute...

[snabbott]

King's Quest 1 by Mel Brooks

That kind of sounds like a cross between Mel Brooks and Monty Python!

[Monkey Slice]

M. Night Shyamalan's King's Quest:

At the end, Graham finds out *gasp* he's actually a character in a videogame!!

"What a twist!"

[wilco64256]

M. Night Shyamalan's King's Quest:

At the end, Graham finds out *gasp* he's actually a character in a videogame!!

"What a twist!"

And he's wearing RED.

[snabbott]

Nice!

[Blitzenburg]

Uwe Boll's King's Quest.

[KatieHal]

Where the camera pans around a bullet time shot every five minutes!

[crayauchtin]

HBO's King's Quest -- where everyone is naked!

[adventurer210]

Roberta Williams' King's Quest!
Oh, wait.   

[Travis-AGA]

HBO's King's Quest -- where everyone is naked!

Or if you go the showtime route: "Graham: Blood and Sand." 

[crayauchtin]

"Friggin' King's Quest" the Jersey Shore version.

[KatieHal]

Stephanie Meyer's King's Quest 6:

Alhazred the Vampire stares at Cassima while she sleeps every night, and Alexander the Werewolf, having Imprinted on her, must find his one true love before she's turned forever into a creature of the sparkle night! Meanwhile Cassima falls on her face every five seconds, has every man in the Green Isles looking to court her, but only has eyes for her Werewolf! ...or vampire! ....or maybe both!

[Travis-AGA]

Stephanie Meyer's King's Quest 6:

Alhazred the Vampire stares at Cassima while she sleeps every night, and Alexander the Werewolf, having Imprinted on her, must find his one true love before she's turned forever into a creature of the sparkle night! Meanwhile Cassima falls on her face every five seconds, has every man in the Green Isles looking to court her, but only has eyes for her Werewolf! ...or vampire! ....or maybe both!

No. Bad idea.