Ask Crispin!

[Ask Crispin]

Hello Questers! I am Crispinophur the Wizard, but you can call me Crispin.

To help burgeoning young wizards and other folk with magical questions and problems, I've started answering questions in a column for the Four Winds, and I'm taking new questions for my next column and here in the forums!

If you have a question about magic, a wand that needs a cheese boost, or a recipe for magic snake skin to let you speak to animals, ask away! Ask Crispin!



* Questions can be posted here, or emailed to askcrispin@postudios.com. Your question may appear in a Four Winds article!

[wilco64256]

Where do babies come from?

[dark-daventry]

Where do babies come from?

Funny. Something tells me that's NOT the kind of question Crispin had in mind...

[snabbott]

Where do babies come from?

No, no, no! It's "How is babby formed?"

[Ask Crispin]

Well, Mr. Wilco, that depends on the kind of baby! Pixie babies, for example, come from pixie blossoms! So don't ever pick a pixie-blossoms, or mama pixie might put a pox on your pointers!

To read more about magical babies, I recommend Adolencia's educational tome "Why Do I Have Magic Powers When I Had None Before?"

Babbies, on the other hand, need to do way instain mother! Terrible thing, that.

[Haids1987]

Where do babies come from?

Isn't your wife pregnant, Weldon?

[Enchantermon]

Can I has cheezburger?

[kindofdoon]

Where do babies come from?

No, no, no! It's "How is babby formed?"

How girl get pragnent?

[Arkillian]

Alexander doesn't appear for me in my magic mirror. How do I make him appear for me?

[Arix]

Dear Mr Crispin,

I have a problem with my son. Now, before you pass this off as an entirely non-magic related question, hear me out. You see, I am a dragon. My son is a talented mage. I love my son, but he has a habit of getting into such mischief with his talents, and there's not a darn thing I can do about it. Just last night he shrunk me to the size of a hatchling!

At first, I just grinned and endured it. I wanted to encourage him to use his talents, after all. But what begun as a fun family bonding activity has since become quite a nuisance. Although I never believed myself to be at all skilled at magic - whereas my son is a mage, I have always been a warrior - I have heard from multiple sources that all dragons have some form of innate magic. My question is, is there any way I could use this to my advantage, and end my son's shenanigans?

-Arix

[snabbott]

Where do babies come from?

Isn't your wife pregnant, Weldon?

Yes, and he wants to know how that keeps happening!

[Cez]

Where do babies come from?

Isn't your wife pregnant, Weldon?

Yes, and he wants to know how that keeps happening!

The Mystery was solved last night. Weldon didn't know that girls get pregnant when you kiss them!

[snabbott]

[KatieHal]

And if you hold hands? It means you're married!

[Ask Crispin]

Alexander doesn't appear for me in my magic mirror. How do I make him appear for me?

I have some bad news, Arkillian--King Alexander contacted me not long ago to ask for a Rogue Magic Mirror Blocking Spell! Maybe now we know why, eh? He can now only be contacted through official Daventry Magic Mirror lines by immediate family members only.

(Posted on: November 19, 2010, 11:34:44 AM)

Dear Mr Crispin,

I have a problem with my son. Now, before you pass this off as an entirely non-magic related question, hear me out. You see, I am a dragon. My son is a talented mage. I love my son, but he has a habit of getting into such mischief with his talents, and there's not a darn thing I can do about it. Just last night he shrunk me to the size of a hatchling!

At first, I just grinned and endured it. I wanted to encourage him to use his talents, after all. But what begun as a fun family bonding activity has since become quite a nuisance. Although I never believed myself to be at all skilled at magic - whereas my son is a mage, I have always been a warrior - I have heard from multiple sources that all dragons have some form of innate magic. My question is, is there any way I could use this to my advantage, and end my son's shenanigans?

-Arix

Dragon Arix--what an excellent question! You have quite the problem with your son here. Many parents and master wizards have trouble with their children or apprentice's growing powers, so I will answer your question in my next column for the benefit of all!

I do hope you aren't turned into a toad or anything unseemly before then! And remember, the smaller you are, the more hiding places you have! Good luck!

[snabbott]

Dear Crispin,

I think you are a total fraud! My friend, the late Mr. I. Fudgit tried to use one of your spells to teleport his mother-in-law away, and due to a "misprint," the spell turned her into a goat. When he followed your instructions for reversing the process, there was another "misprint," and she was turned into a giant carnivorous bird and ate the whole family! I am going to contact the Society of Wizards and ask them to have your wizarding license revoked!

-Ira Porchu

[Haids1987]

And if you hold hands? It means you're married!

GAH! When I was in elementary school if you were swinging at the same pace as someone of the opposite gender, you were married.

[kindofdoon]

And if you hold hands? It means you're married!

GAH! When I was in elementary school if you were swinging at the same pace as someone of the opposite gender, you were married.

LOL

[Baggins]

Dear Crispin Sir:
So, Crispin, when you went to 'the country nearby Serenia', and couldn't help Graham any further. Where was that exactly? Does the land have a name? Which direction was it from your house? Are you really Merlin, and will you ever get your mirror back? How is Archimed...Cedric doing? Finally, have you seen Gandalf lately? Galadriel says 'Hi'.

-Zippo Lightfoot-Baggins of The Shire (I'm not Frodo, he is a distant cousin).

P.S. I understand a colleague of mine one known as Ira Porchu, wants to have your membership with the Society of Wizards revoked, he wouldn't believe me when I tried to explain to him that you are the leader of the society, and thus it would be very difficult to make you step down. Could you explain this to him so that he will understand?

[kindofdoon]

Lol, more like "Interrogate Crispin!"