Best Twlight Reviews EVER (SPOILERS)

[Haids1987]

And for those that want to see it- here's my impression of a traditionalized version of Edward Cullen- fangs and all

Ooooh, spooky!  I love it!

[Arkillian]

See, not if THAT was in the Twilight movie having his emo guff, you'd respect him more, right? Even if he sparkled? I think not having fangs put their vampires down, but I REALLY don't think that the sparkles were a put down. They were just a twist on a pre-existing fantasy creature. I'm cool with that. There's alot of minor things wrong with the series that makes you twinge, but really, the biggest issue is Bella.

[KatieHal]

I'd argue the relationship is still stalker-y and controlling. Actually, I'd say it's less so in the movies than the books--the movies avoided showing some of the extremes that Edward went to in his attempt to cut Bella off from Jacob.

Jacob would be the healthy relationship, except that he kinda ends up showing just how vile Bella is. She uses and manipulates him fully knowing how he feels about her. And he puts up with it. It's another abusive relationship in the end, just of a different sort. The whole series is a long chain of terrible relationships begetting other ones. Edward does it to Bella, Bella does it to Jacob...ugh. I totally agree, she's a wretched, selfish and manipulative b**** who has to sacrifice nothing in order to get everything.

[Haids1987]

Jacob would be the healthy relationship, except that he kinda ends up showing just how vile Bella is. She uses and manipulates him fully knowing how he feels about her. And he puts up with it.

But hey, he gets the baby...*cough*cough* um, he gets the GIRL in the end, so it works out well for everyone.

[KatieHal]

I think I don't even need to point out what's awful about that statement this time!

[Haids1987]

When I was in Forks I saw a bunch of merchandise like magnets and bumper stickers making fun of that.

[LadyTerra]

When I was in Forks I saw a bunch of merchandise like magnets and bumper stickers making fun of that.

  That's awesome!

[Arkillian]

When I was in Forks I saw a bunch of merchandise like magnets and bumper stickers making fun of that.

... that's creepy consider that the daughter is a demon child O.o Um, I've only read the first book... I'm... not quite finished either. So far the stalking isn't as bad as the movie. If modern girls think that it's how relationships should be the they were screwed up in the head before Twilight. Really :/

Oh- saw the freakiest bumper sticker today- "I drive like a Cullen"

Make sure I'm not in the same city as anyone with that bumper sticker. SERIOUS.

[KatieHal]

Oh--sorry Arkillian! I didn't realize, and wouldn't've made with the spoilers. 

[Arkillian]

Oh--sorry Arkillian! I didn't realize, and wouldn't've made with the spoilers. 

Don't worry. I want to keep TSL part 3 spoiler free, but there's not spoilers with Twilight I've seen way too many reviews and opinions. I know most of the plot. I've only read the first book first hand though. I can honestly say that the book is better than the movie, but the book has such BAD writing that it actually hurts to read :/

[Haids1987]

Oh- saw the freakiest bumper sticker today- "I drive like a Cullen"

Make sure I'm not in the same city as anyone with that bumper sticker. SERIOUS.

Ugh.  We have a ton of those over here in Washington. I've seen so many--"Cullen Crazy!!!" "I like SPARKLY boys!" "Edward prefers brunettes!"  Oh, and of course: "TEAM EDWARD."

[KatieHal]

Oh Haids....look what trailer came out!

http://youtu.be/y81pg3HRpVQ


I can't wait. This is going to be HILARIOUS.

[Deloria]

2 things:

Real ladies wear tiaras to their weddings, not tacky rhinestone combs.

Second:
Does this movie actually have a plot or is it just one glorified vampire-human love scene after the next?

Also, how can she have pregnancy cramps?! She's completely flat.

[KatieHal]

Because it's a mystical vampire pregnancy! It doesn't have to follow rules!

It...has the tiniest of plots. But not one that remotely justifies it being split into two movies.

[Buddy1991]

I don't get why people who say they hate Twilight actively seek out information on it.  Makes me a little suspicious how much they actually "hate" it.  

First of all, I have to say that I didn't want to read all the 6 pages, so if I repeat something, I am sorry.

I am actually one of those people who hate Twilight but look for information, watch the movies, etc.
I have to admit that the whole hype around the books and especially the movies interest me somehow. I just find it interesting. I have read the first three books on myself, and I have to say that they were okay, but totally overrated. Everybody who says that the writing is good - I just have to disagree. Also, the whole storyline is pretty horrible. I mean the main idea behind Twilight (girl falls in love with dangerous Vampire, they are happy, blah blah, but there's that sexy werewolve...) is kinda cool altough nothing new (Vampire Diaries made a much more better job with that kind of story line... Both books and the series) I am losing myself...
What I wanna say: The whole hype is very interesting, and Twilight has somehow gained a status in our culture. And I just like to have the overview over my culture
Also, I really HATE it if somebody's saying stuff like: "I hate Harry Potter", but later explaining to me that he neither has seen the movies nor read the books. I don't want to be that kind of guy - so I read the books to find out about the weakpoints.

... Somebody also mentioned the music? I loved the music in the films - it was definitely the only good thing about the movies, but that's okay for me.

[Haids1987]

Oh Haids....look what trailer came out!

http://youtu.be/y81pg3HRpVQ


I can't wait. This is going to be HILARIOUS.

Oh.  Em.  Gee.  It actually shows him tearing up the headboard. I have genuine tears in my eyes from laughing at that!  Besides, why the graphic sex scene?!  It doesn't even show him ripping up the headboard in the books!

Real ladies wear tiaras to their weddings, not tacky rhinestone combs.

Leave it to you to notice that!   Here's why she wears 'em:

"[The combs] were your Grandma Swan's...we had a jeweler replace the paste stone with sapphires."

And this:

Also, how can she have pregnancy cramps?! She's completely flat.

Her entire pregnancy lasts like a month.  Like Katie said, mythical vampire pregnancy!

This movie looks so laughably bad.  Like, cringe-inducing, going-to-cry-from-embarrassment bad.  The words of Stephenie Meyer should never have left the page--they're FAR too sappy to be spoken aloud!

[KatieHal]

I like the music from the first movie I got that soundtrack. But the second one was all super mopey and depressing the whole way through. Don't recall much about the 3rd movie's music.

Oh yes, Haids, it will be a LOL-fest!

[Haids1987]

But the second one was all super mopey and depressing the whole way through.

I expect nothing less.  Here's the plot of New Moon:

BELLA: I love you.
EDWARD: I love you too.  But my brother tried to eat you, so I'm gonna go ahead and take off.  Peace.
BELLA: ......?

*Months of Bella being a zombie pass*

BELLA: Jake! You're my new Edward!  Let me lead you on and make you think you have a chance!
JAKE: Sweet!
BELLA: Oh wait, there's a Cullen here.  NVM, Jake, I can't be your friend anymore.
ALICE: Edward's going to kill himself!  Let's hop a flight to Italy and I'll jack a car!
BELLA: Deal!
EDWARD: Hey, Bella, you're not dead! Let's go back to being all sappy and not having sex!
BELLA: Aw, man. Fine. Turn me into a vampire, though.
EDWARD: No.
BELLA. Yes.
EDWARD: No.
BELLA. Yes.
JAKE: Hey, b****, since you left me high and dry, I'ma tattle to your dad that we played with motorcycles.

Fin.

[Enchantermon]

Besides, why the graphic sex scene?!  It doesn't even show him ripping up the headboard in the books!

Did you seriously just ask why a movie aimed at teenage girls has sex in it?

[Deloria]

Real ladies wear tiaras to their weddings, not tacky rhinestone combs.

Leave it to you to notice that!   Here's why she wears 'em:

"[The combs] were your Grandma Swan's...we had a jeweler replace the paste stone with sapphires."

But those are clearly still rhinestones. White sapphires would be much clearer! Unless they were really horrible quality, in which case, why bother?

EDWARD: Hey, Bella, you're not dead! Let's go back to being all sappy and not having sex!

Abstinence, fighting, emotional abuse and passive-aggression. What fun. Am I the only one to have thought that their relationship would have been much, much healthier if they'd just had sex?